⚘ Synesthesia ⚘

Chapter 6 ⚘

Chapter 6 of 11:
Waves

2 weeks.

It had been two whole weeks since Avery last saw Ryder. To be honest, it was kind of a relief. Thinking about the whole situation made Avery feel a bit of red, but it was mostly overpowered by blues and purples.

You weren't supposed to have romantic feelings for your best friend. Especially if you both were guys. Avery had been taught that men can't fall in love with each other. If he were to be in a serious relationship with Ryder, then he would be an abomination.

As for the kiss?

That was a whole new level of not okay.

Avery pulled on some old shoes and a jacket. It was getting quite a bit colder, which made the air smell a lot like pine trees, in addition to freezing air that went in through your nose and embedded itself in your lungs. It tasted like nothing in particular; overall it seemed a little bland.

Exiting his house, Avery started down the trail that led to civilization. Avery's house stood alone amongst dozens of trees. It was "therapeutic", according to his mother.

Today was a Wednesday which always made Avery feel quite purple. Wednesdays were the days when Avery would go to see Dr. Hughes. However today, he didn't really feel his colors that intensely. And he didn't see much of a color either. Whenever Ryder was gone he always kind of felt like this. His colors faded, and sometimes they went away completely.

Avery had yet to tell his therapist about the voices. He didn't want to be put on anymore medications that didn't even work.

In fact, Avery had skipped his sessions all together for the past few weeks. He was afraid that his therapist would somehow know about his feelings towards Ryder, and then Avery would have to express his opinion on the matter.

He didn't need a therapist to pretend to listen, and then tell him that he's got one more thing wrong with him to add to the already long list.

And quite honestly, Avery wasn't even sure how he felt about the whole issue anyway, and he wouldn't know how to describe it.

The voices had been getting steadily louder within the past two weeks. Avery supposed it was a combination of poor decisions; not taking his medication, skipping therapy, and refusing to talk about his issues.

Avery took a deep breath, looking up at the building that filled him with so much color. Avery didn't really know what color this place was because it made him feel so many different things. He used to think it was brown, but lately he had been getting his colors confused, and he wasn't sure what was what anymore. Ryder being gone only added his uncertainty.

The inability to give this place a color made Avery feel even more disoriented than he already was and he hated that. Avery scrunched up his nose, preparing for the overpowering smell of leather and old books.

Avery stepped inside and immediately felt compelled to run far away. He knew he couldn't- Dr. Hughes had informed Avery's mom about his absences- but that didn't mean he didn't want to.

Avery signed himself in and sat down in the waiting area. It was eerily quiet in the building, which made Avery feel very uncomfortable. Silence was the last thing he needed right now. Avery's hand started to twitch again and his eyes darted all across the room, looking for an escape.

Lately whenever it was quiet, the voices would get louder and louder, to the point where Avery wanted to smash his own head into the nearest object.

If Ryder was there, then Avery would have some sort of a distraction, but Avery couldn't talk to Ryder right now. Ryder just made him feel even more confused.