The One That Matters (N/F)

CHAPTER 6~I made a mistake

*Meagans POV*

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD DID I JUST HAVE SEX WITH JESSE!!!

I was saying that over and over in my head. I was in the bathroom. I had a sharp pain in my stomach every now and then..Well wonder why..Oh yeah I lost my virginity to the guitarist of Sleeping With fucking Sirens!!!  I hated myself.. I didn't really know why..I felt bad.. I kept thinking of this poem I saw on the internet somewhere...

Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry,

Don't Cut Your Arms Don't Say Goodbye,

Put Down That Razor Look In The Light 

I Know Its Hard But You'll Win This Fight.

I locked the door and thought of that poem again.. Lies.. Its all fucking lies! I walked over the the sink. I saw there was a brand new razor on the counter top. I grabbed it and took it apart. I sat there for a while looking at the lifeless piece of medal..Mocking every thing I've done.. I looked down down at my arm..So many scars, so many memories, so much pain in every scar there. 

I took the razor and gently put it up to my skin. I kept thinking of things by the minuet. Everything that's wrong with me, everything that I've done wrong..All my mistakes..

Whore

-cut-

Bitch

-cut-

There was so much more..I didn't know what to think. I got carried away.. at first it was about 6 cuts there..But I lost all control of my body. I went over my arm over, and over...And over... Soon the razor became dull.. I looked at my arm.. Blood was dripping all over the floor, running all down my arm...Getting on what I was wearing..I sat there for the longest time just watching the blood drip down on myself and the floor. You could even hear it if it was quiet enough.

Drip

Drip 

Drip

Then I heard a knock on the door. I sprang up and hid my arm behind the door. I cracked it open a little bit.. It was Jesse..

"Hey what are you doing?" He asked a little concerned.

"Nothing, I was going to take a shower." I said putting on the fake smile I knew he would want to see.

"Oh sorry I didn't know,'' He said chuckling,''Ok well Ill let you take your shower.'' I nodded and shut the door.. I don't like to hide things from him...Or anybody..But this, this is worth hiding....Right?

I slid in the shower..I closed my eyes and let the hot water hit my skin. It felt nice. I looked down at my arm. It was still bleeding a lot... Its nothing to be worried about it...It will stop soon. I cleaned myself up and got out. It was still bleeding and I felt a little dizzy.. I looked around the bathroom for gauze or a big bandage. I finally found one and I wrapped up my arm. I forgot that I didn't have clothes without blood on them...I opened the bathroom door and peeked out. I made sure the coast was clear. I walked out hurriedly and as I opened the door to Jesse's room I heard someone behind me. I turned my head and saw Gabe standing there.. He looked out of it. I pressed me arm close to my body.

''Hey umm Meagan...'' He said looking spaced out.

''Oh um hi Gabe..Uh do you mind if I get dressed first? Then we could talk?'' I said opening the door.

''Oh uh yeah go ahead... Ill be downstairs..'' And with that he walked off. I wonder whats with him.

I walked inside the room and put on a black thin long sleeved shirt and some South Park pajama pants. I went over to Jesse's closet and put on a blue sweatshirt. I put my hair in a messy bun and slip on some comfortable slippers. When I was finished getting dressed Jesse walked in right as I was leaving. 

''Hey babe.'' He said walking towards me.

''Hi'' I said back, only a little less enthusiastically. He looked at me funny.

''Whats wrong?''

''Nothing''

''Meagan..'' He said pulling me in a hug. He hit my arm pretty hard when he slid me in his embrace. I winced. Jesse stopped and looked at me.

''Meagan? Lift up your sleeves..'' He said concerned. I just sat there looking down.

''Meagan I'm not going to ask you again...Please... Lift up your sleeve..'' I slowly starting to lift up my sleeve. He saw the bandage I had on was soaked in blood. I started to feel tired. All I remember was Jesse screaming, then

Blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two updates in one night..

And I want to write more..But Im tired so I will save these ideas for tomorrow.

Thanksgiving break is this Wednesday for me. 

I will have till Sunday to make as many updates as possible.

Love you guys

Krys, you and Kellin will be mentioned a lot more after this chapter.

If anyone else wants to be apart of the story, let me know. 

Who ever messages me first will be able to be In one of my chapters. 

ORRR They could be here through out the story and date one of the other members.

You never know

You know the drill

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~Skylor<3