Use Me, Royal Stranger (mxm)

Chapter 36 - Eternity To Try

Media: Latch (Acoustic) - Sam Smith 

He had a foolish smile on his face as he thought about the day's events. Taking another mouthful of wine, the Prince chuckled under his breath at the memory of Carlen's confession. He had not been wrong about a person before, and this was the first time that he felt so pleased as judging someone accurately.

While he had seen Carlen from afar before, he had never interacted personally with him until recent. From the moment that he met Carlen, he had been very pleasantly surprised that this man had not an ounce of scheming in his mind and heart. Even though years of conditioning had him suspicious of everyone naturally, Prince Shayne found himself having to remind himself to be wary of Carlen.

His natural guard against everyone was down when he was with Carlen. For the first time since his sister's death, Shayne found someone he could truly relax around. He didn't have to watch his words, he didn't have to act a certain way, he didn't have to guess what Carlen was trying to mean or do. He simply was there, with him, enjoying the time that passed peacefully between them. Carlen was indeed a rare gem in the castle that was filled with treasures. He experienced all the reasons why his elder brother and the warrior was so obsessed with Carlen.

Sighing blissfully, Shayne remembered the moment that Carlen confessed he was romantically involved with the warrior. It is a moment he would never forget.

When Carlen had hesitated to tell him the truth till that last moment, Shayne was ready to bring up his walls again. He was ready to have just a shallow friendship as he did with everyone else he claimed to be friends with. He was almost certain that no matter how good and innocent a person Carlen was, the younger man never treated their friendship with a true heart. He was convinced that Carlen was just like everyone else.

As he walked away from Carlen, Shayne thought he would pass out from the pain in his chest. A pain he never thought he would feel again since his sister's death. He had been plenty well guarded against the people around him until that moment. He had never let anyone in. He judged and protected himself from trusting anyone fully. The pain that he felt was evidence that he had been careless. It was in that moment that he realised that he had given his heart to Carlen. It scared Shayne so much that he was going to swear by the Goddess' name that it will truly never happen again. He would be smarter than that. He would survive only if he protected himself well.

But Carlen proved him wrong. When Carlen grabbed him on his arm, his initial reaction was to fling that man off his arms. Shayne felt betrayed. It felt that dirty and disgusting that Carlen would want to be close to him like that when he did not wholeheartedly invest himself into the relationship. He didn't need a shallow friend like that. That he was just like everyone else: fake.

Despite his fondness for Carlen, Shayne was really about to brush him off. But the moment he heard those two words whispered in his ears, any walls that he was attempting to rebuild came crashing down in a second.

He was devastated, yet elated. He had lost. He lost to Carlen. The moment Carlen allowed himself to be vulnerable to Shayne, he had Shayne's heart in his hands to do as he pleased. From that moment on, Shayne swore that he would earnestly treat Carlen as though he was a part of him. He would protect him, care for him and make sure no harm came to him. Just as Carlen had indirectly handed his life to him, Shayne would do the same for Carlen. He would only let himself completely free in front of Carlen. Only him.

While all these made Shayne insanely happy, he was suddenly worried for Carlen. That man was true to the people around him to a fault. Shayne recalled their first encounter, when Carlen tried to protect his guard, Flynn. It made him smile. Carlen was so guileless. But that was a dangerous trait to have in this castle. People could hurt him so simply. Make use of him.