Use Me, Royal Stranger (mxm)

Chapter 28 - Waking Up, Empty Inside

Media: Like I'm Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend

Four mornings later, Carlen finally woke. His eyes drooped tiredly despite being asleep for a long time, or at least it felt like he did. His body felt stiff as he tried to move his limbs in an attempt to get up. How long had he been asleep? Every muscle protested painfully as he tried to sit up, even moving his toes felt foreign. Taking a deep breath as he gathered his strength, Carlen begin to dry heave painfully as his throat felt like it was closing up from being so dry.

A flash of pain to his belly made his breath hitched and he stopped dry heaving instantly, his heart skipping a beat. His palms went to his belly shakily, feeling the bump of the thick layer of bandages around his body. He stopped breathing. Where was- No. He let out a shocked shriek as his inner wolf howled sorrowfully, throwing its weight against his control and fading into his unconscious. His wolf was not having it. Their pup- was gone. How could this be?

His heart raced intensely and Carlen let out a silent sob as the ache in his belly grew. Shaking his head and blinking furiously as the tears fell from his eyes, Carlen let out a silent scream into his hand as the other clutched unsteadily onto the bandages on his stomach. He needed to see. His baby, it couldn't be gone. With shaky hands, he hurriedly ripped into the bandages, not caring that the movements were jarring his wounds.

The blood-soiled bandages lay unceremoniously on the ground in bits and Carlen flinched as he nicked a particularly sensitive part of his wound. He swayed as he stared at the raw and angry flesh, as though evidence of his punishment for not taking good care of his child, for failing as a father. He sobbed, running his hand on his belly. His baby was gone. His baby was really lost to him. He couldn't sense the baby in his body anymore.

"You're awake!"

Carlen spun around angrily at the intruder, biting his lips to refrain from throwing up at the sound of Alaric's voice.

Silence. Silence was all Carlen returned that cold hearted monster. Hate seeped through every single cell in his being. He hated Alaric's presence. He hated his scent, his voice, his existence. Alaric killed his baby. Murderer. He couldn't even look at him. Carlen's fingers dug into his palms as he balled them into fists in an attempt to control his emotions. The urge to hurl hit him again and he swallowed hard to keep it down. He needed to get out of here.

Swinging his legs over the sides of the bed, Carlen winced at a sharp pain that stabbed at his belly, faltering slightly. Alaric was instantly by his side and Carlen pushed him away harshly. Do not touch me. He glared at Alaric with every single ounce of hate he could muster. Monster. The hair on his arm rose where Alaric had touched him, and Carlen couldn't help but try to wipe away any possible trace of Alaric off of him. If he could, he would rather burn off the skin that Alaric had just touched.

Alaric backed away slightly, hurt etched onto his features. But Carlen felt no sympathy for a man like that. He deserved no sympathy. Pushing himself off the bed again, Carlen snarled when he saw Alaric's hands reaching out to him again. If Alaric touched him again, he would lose his mind, he was sure.

Alaric licked his lips nervously as he raised his hands in mock surrender, "You should not leave your bed. You've reopened your wounds. Let me get Healer Naomi. Please Carlen, please get back into bed."

When Carlen made no move to listen to Alaric, the older man reached out in an attempt to try to get Carlen back onto his bed, but Carlen wrenched his arms away from Alaric violently. He was vaguely aware that his wound had torn open at the corner even more than it did before. He could feel the warmth of his own blood soaking his clothes; the pain was starting to get unbearable, and he could feel his perspiration drip down the side of his head from clenching his teeth so hard. He needed to get away from this monster. Carlen growled as his hackles rose, his survival instincts starting to kick in and he could sense his inner wolf starting to gain more control over his consciousness. He held himself in a hug as his body shook involuntarily from the pain.