Caught in the Middle

Chapter 19

"What?" I asked.  The expression faded into puzzlement.  How could Dane and I be part of a game?  Everything that was happening around us seemed like life intervention or the fact that I went against my phobia.

I understood that Nathan played an important role for the unfortunate events lashing at us all at once.  Clearly, I walked into something that I shouldn't have when I decided to date Nathan.  To make matters worse, I ended receiving help from his rival.  Of course, Nathan would be pissed and he would make our life a living nightmare.

But to make our lives into a game.  Wasn't that going a step too far?

Games had winners and losers. Most games had rules.

I didn't want my life to be a game when I worked so hard to build a normal and contented life.

"Fuck," Dane muttered while his foot kicked at nothing on the asphalt.  "Nathan has always been obsessed with playing games."

I didn't like the idea of us being in the middle of an open road.  A car could hit us at any moment.  "How about we get off the road and we can discuss more about this somewhere else?"

He didn't pay mind to me.

Another car passed us by with his car horn blazing in the wind.  The white Honda Sonata was too close for my liking.  "Seriously, we can talk more about Nathan's game in the car or at the bookstore."

His head was lowered.  His eyes stared at the ground.  I went around him, careful to keep my distance from the oncoming traffic, to peer at his face.  A chill swept through me at a breeze.  It went unnoticed by him.  Instead, he seemed to be looking through the asphalt, delving into something that I surely couldn't see.

"Dane, please," I called to him.  I was desperate to bring him back from whatever world his mind drifted.  Somehow I knew the expression on his face.  I experienced the same expression after my parents' death; lost, vacant.

"Dane, we're on the road," I tried again.

I reached out for him, ready for him to slap my hand away, but with a touch on his hard shoulder, he seemed to come to himself.  He blinked and relaxed his body.  He turned his face to me before his expression lightened. I breathed a sigh of relief.

He moved to the Grand Cherokee and opened the driver's door.  I went to the opposite side.  The moment our doors were closed, he splayed his large hands on the steering wheel.  He leaned his forehead against it.  My heart squeezed in my chest.  I looked away from him. 

'A proud man like himself should never have to bow before anyone,' I thought and I shook my head.  I got accustomed to seeing Dane as an arrogant and calculating man, who usually got his way.  But I have come to realize that Dane wasn't always proud or as confident as he acted.

When he didn't trust my words, I saw another side of him.  The doubt that flickered in his glittery eyes made me glimpse another person.  Then he told me the story about Elisa, Nathan and him and I got to see more of that other person.  It made him more reachable and understandable.  Soon the concept to leave his side changed into one that made me want to stay and help him.

I shook my head again.  I actually wanted to help this man.  I glanced at him and saw his eyes were closed as he focused on taking even breaths.  Despite finding out that our lives were out of control, a small smile played on my lips.

And there was the fact that Dane looked normal.  Or at least he was acting like how other people do when they were trying to calm down after an outburst.

"You don't mind we talk a bit?" I asked him.  I turned my eyes straight on the road, taking in the busy street of New York City.

"Aren't you going to be late for work?" he returned with a question.  The smile on my face lifted more.