Spin The Bottle In The Bedroom (On Hold)

3: Farewell Party

Emmalee threw my party at a small bar; My favorite bar to be exact. I don't know how she does these things. She planned this entire party in two hours!

And I can't believe everyone actually showed up. Usually people hate last minute things.

I was sitting front row at the bar, hocking down a bottle of Jack, trying not to laugh at the banner that read: Goodbye Noah!" Above and beyond, Emmalee, above and beyond.

"How's it going?" Ashlyn smiles, sitting next to me at the end of the bar.

"Ashlyn," I breathed, running my fingers through my hair. "Sometimes I need what only you can provide: Your absence." She laughed wholeheartedly, then motioned for the bartender to come over.

"Well, aren't we just a ray of friggin sunshine." She mutters under her breath. "I'll have some tequila please, and lets get a couple of shots for my friend here because he can use a drink."

"No," I slurred, already drunk and I've only been here for an hour. "What I need is a Mother who doesn't try to control my life."

"If you don't want to go, then don't." She shrugs, as if its that simple.

"It's too late, okay? I already promised, Emma. Besides," I continued drinking the shots that Ashlyn bought. "My Mom would kill me." Before she could have her say in the matter, Doug walked over, patting me on the back.

"Congratulations, Noah!" He exclaimed, then sat in the other side of me.

Doug and I became friends after I graduated high school. We met at some cheap graduation party, from which the school threw. Doug was a slacker, and I couldn't believe that I'd never met Doug beforehand. But I decided to follow in Emma's footsteps and try and escape the person that I was before. Thus, making an entirely new set of friends.

He raised his shot glass in my honor, then hocked it down in one swig. I did the same, then Ashlyn. "I always knew you'd get your life together before I did." He smiles, and I just shrug. Why is everyone trying to fix their lives? Can't they just accept them for what they are and move on? That's what I do.

"HAPPY GOING AWAY PARTY, BRO!" Ezra called out, handing me a considerable sized wrapped box.

"Thanks, Ezra." I smiled, taking it in my hands. Mike passed me one also, as did Jake.

"We wanted to tell you now so we wouldn't miss you tomorrow at the airport," Mike explained, and I nodded.

"We just wanted to say congratulations!" Emma grinned, handing me another gift.

I stood to my feet, eyeing the gifts. "Wow guys! This is nice! Ezra comes by bearing gifts, Mike comes by bearing gifts, and Ashlyn you're just the bear that came by huh?" I asked, causing her to glare at me. "Are you shedding? Is it hibernation time, I mean, wh-what's going on?" Mike laughed, and Ashlyn stood to her feet with a pout.

"Are you shrinking? Is it shorty time?" She retorted, pointing her finger in my face. "I am not scared of you Noah Avery!" Emma got between the two of us, telling us to stop repeatedly.

"Ashlyn stop and take this," Doug cut in, handing her a shot glass. "Noah look look, since everyone has a drink I would like to propose a toast."

"Well you just make it quick, William Shakespeare," I snapped, ready to go home.

"To Noah! May you finally get your shit together," he joked, and we all laughed before drinking our tequila in one swig.

"But really you guys thanks. I am deeply moved." I stated in all seriousness, getting ready to get the hell out of there.

"Oh wait, Noah," Mike stopped me, "before you go, do you think I can get that hat back that I let you borrow?"

"Dude, you gave me that hat." I stated. "You just don't remember, think."

"No, okay, um thinkin and I remember saying you could BORROW it!"

"No? No. You said I could have it."

"No, NO. I said you could BORROW it! Don't tell me what I said, Noah."

"I have EARS, Mike. I can hear." Emma, once again stopped an argument from taking place.

"You guys stop! Mike, it's not that serious. It's a hat. Let it die." She rolled her bright green eyes, then handed me my jacket.

"Make sure you take a cab home, Noah. That way I won't worry about you all night." She demands like a mother, and I smile and nod at her.

She places a quick peck on my lips, and I put my jacket on, round up all my presents and go.

~•~

"Miranda!" I call out, throwing the keys on the floor because I missed the side table.

I stumbled over to the couch noticing that it was pitch black in here. That only means that Miranda was either sleep, or worse; at work.

I groaned, throwing myself face first on the cold leather. I was too drunk to go anywhere else, and I could barely keep my eyes open. "Ugh!" I slurred, burying my face in the cushion.

I hate being alone here. It's terrifying. And so quiet. My whole world is this empty apartment. I could just watch tv, or write some e-mails. But instead I lie there like road kill.

I listen to the silence, and I can no longer tell if my eyes are open or shut. Either way its just darkness. I feel gone. I wonder if I should do something, but I don't know what. I don't know what to do!

I start to think about turning on the lights, but my body feels like something is holding it down. I want Miranda here. I want her to talk to me; hold me. But she'd never do that. Not even if I begged.

She doesn't love, love. She doesn't want to be held. She doesn't want me to make love to her. She wants to have sex and she wants to be left alone.

When I told her I was leaving, she didn't even care. She only asked if she could stay at my place while I was gone, and I said that she could. She's such a closed book, and I never know what she wants. She doesn't tell me.

I decide to just sleep.

"Is this it?" I ask myself in my head. "IS THIS IT?!"

I realize then that all the feelings inside of me a re dead and I want them to be alive.