Spin The Bottle In The Bedroom (On Hold)

20: I Wish I Was Enough

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked me, grabbing my arm fairly hard.

"We could ask you the same thing, Jake," Ashlyn said, coming to my defense.

"You stay out of this," he shouted, pointing a finger in her face.

"Take your hands off of her," the stranger demanded, and my mouth dropped.

"This is about to get fighty," I slurred, and Luna nodded, with basically the same facial expression as me.

"Real fighty, real fast," she cringed, stepping out of the way. "Perhaps this wasn't the... best of ideas?"

"Let me go, Jake," I demanded, snatching away from him. "I don't tell you where to go, so don't tell me."

"Yeah?" He asked, his face hard. "Well I don't flirt with random girls at bars!" He yelled, causing me to roll my eyes.

"I wasn't flirting!"

"Oh, I'd beg the differ," he said in a dead-panned voice. I scoffed, throwing my arms up in defeat, then started to make my way out of the club. He followed behind me, like I knew he would. "So now you're just going to storm off?" He asked, and I could hear the loud metal door slam behind him.

It was dark, and it was cold, and I couldn't stand looking at him; so I didn't. I just kept walking down the sidewalk, trying to fight my tears. "Emmalee!" He called, almost spitting my name out of his mouth.

"I don't have anything to say to you!" I screamed, trying to walk faster which deemed impossible due to the heels I was wearing.

"You started this! And now you're running away?" He asked, and I finally stopped running.

"I didn't start anything," I said, finally turning to face him. "You are the one who keeps staying out all night, and flirting with wedding planners, and calling me crazy!"

"I've never flirted with Sienna!" He argued, and I just shook my head.

"Don't lie to me! Don't pretend that you're not into her." I cried, my voice cracking just saying it.

"Okay, I'm not saying that she's not attractive," he admitted, "I'm not blind, Emma. But I've never flirted with her. You're the only one that I want," he reassured me, placing his hands on both sides of my shoulder. I held my head down, in a failure attempt to hide my tears from him. "I don't understand what's wrong with you all of a sudden, Emma! It feels like, ever since we got engaged I've been trying to prove myself to you, over and over."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, pushing him away. "I don't like it when you stay out late, and you pretty much told me that I am way too uptight for you so what do you expect me to do? How do you want me to react, Jake?" I asked him, and let out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know, Emma, I just feel like you're trying to push me away," he answered honestly. "And I don't understand why."

"Jake, just leave me alone," I sighed, "I didn't even wanna come here in the first place."

"Then why did you?" He asked.

"Because I wanted you to know what it felt like to be me!" I screamed. "I wanted you to feel how I felt. Don't you get it?" I asked him, shaking my head at how stupid I felt. "I-I," I couldn't finish my sentence, because I began to cry at the realization. "I'm scared, Jake."

"Scared of what?" He asked me, begging to know.

"Of you." I sighed. "I don't like when you're not around, I can't be away from you. I don't know who I am without you. I would choose you over anyone, every single time. You're the one, Jake, and you're the only one, and I don't know what I'd do without you there. There's no life without you, Jake, and it scares me. It's scary that you could just lose interest me, and decide that you want someone else instead; that I'm not enough for you. I don't wanna get hurt, Jake."

At first, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me, his expression unreadable. Maybe he finally realized how vulnerable I really was. Or how watching his parents' divorce effected all of us. Maybe he remembered that I witnessed my Mother break down because of what my Father did to her.

And maybe he remembered us; those clueless teenagers. The one's who had nothing to lose but each other. How I went from being so lonely, and friendless, to being completely devoted to him. And that I was dependent on him, more than he thought.

"Are you scared, Jake?" I asked him after what seemed like a lifetime of us just looking at each other. "Because I'll be the first to admit that I am."

"Guys!" Ashlyn yelled, running out after us with Luna not too far behind her. 

Grateful for the distraction, I pulled my jacket around me tighter, and then begun to walk again. "I think I'm just going to go stay at Luna's for a while, Jake," I told him, and he just looked on in awe. Still not breathing a single word.