Journey To Healing: Diary Of A Food Addict

You Have A Pretty Face...BUT! Chapter 9

You know how they say," beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." It frustrates me how society judges overweight/obese people without really knowing anything about the persons life. We are seen as slobs, lazy, and uneducated. The people who judge us according to our weight, couldn't be more further from the truth. I remember many years ago, and one of the many times I was losing weight, approximately 45 lbs lost, I was told by a male co-worker that my face was pretty but I needed to lose weight. Seriously, you have no idea how that cut deep into my soul. It was like, "you have a pretty face but...! I really didn't care whether this person saw me as pretty or not, but the idea that he told me that, bothered me. I have been told similar thing by various people in my life. I have always been told, that people DON'T see my weight, that they see my heart. I wish it was that easy. The only thing is, that is not the truth.  They just didn't want to hurt my feelings, and I completely understand. These voice judgements and proclamations are not fully processed at the time they are stated to us, but more likely pushed away into the unknown of our souls to be brought up later, in the form of overeating.  I'm not saying tell the person, they're fat, get over it. What I am saying is that your words can build others up, or tear them down.  People who tear us down, who think its a joke, have no idea how severe of a disease obesity truly is, they just pass judgement.  It literally pushes the person who has a food addiction, into a deeper and deeper abyss.

Having to open my eyes to my reality has led me down a road of better understanding that there is nothing wrong with me, I am just a person who is struggling with my weight and self esteem issues. Our weight issues should not define who we are, because when self measured, we will find ourselves falling short of self approval. Validation does not come from others, but from ourselves.  We shouldn't base our life by what others around us think is acceptable, but what is right and acceptable to God.  Like with the Co-worker who decided to make me feel less than a person, because he decided to not look at my heart, just my physical appearance. I am starting to find my true self. Even at times when I discover a new strength within myself, I no longer run away from the person I'm starting to become. It's God who is molding me from a cocoon to a beautiful butterfly. I couldn't be more driven to keep pushing forward towards my true destiny. God bless.