Last Shot at Love

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MAKI LOPEZ

"Can we talk?"

I was terrified with this words. Wala kasing pag-uusap na natatapos ng maayos kapag naririnig ko ito. Although Mj used a very calm tone, hindi ko pa rin maiwang magpanic internally because, one, si Mj ang lumapit sa akin. Two, she asked to talk and I don't know why. Three, why won't I panic? When the love of your life approach you and ask to talk with you even after you crashed their world apart, magpapanic ka talaga!

" I, uh, s-sure." I stuttered. "What is it? Tungkol ba to sa occular? Or sa shoot?"

"No. I, uh, actually, a-ano.. I w-want t-to... Oh my God! I-i, a-ano.." Well, its nice to know na hindi lang ako ang ninerbyos sa pag-uusap na ito.

"Mj, relax. Deep breath. It's just me. Chill ka lang." I said, smiling.

"Mj? I thought--- You don't--- What happen to Julian? You don't call me that. You call me Julian, always! You only call me Mj when you're mad at me! I know its been a long time but I thought--- Alex said--- Are you mad at me? Why do you call me Mj now? What did I do? I just want to talk and---"

"Julian, you're rambling. I though you wouldn't like me calling you that. I'm sorry, I'm not mad." I cut her. Julian will only speak a lot and fast when she panics and I honestly didn't know that she'll panic and think that I'm mad because I just called her Mj. I mean why would I be mad at her?

MJ ROSS

I tensed up. I rambled. I didn't know what to do. Then it hit me, I'm still whipped as f***. Maybe old habits really just die hard. I mean, tatawagin lang niya akong Mj kapag nagagalit siya or may ginawa akong hindi niya nagustuhan.

"I'm sorry. I just, okay, I'm calm. I actually want to talk to you. I-I mean, matagal ko ng gustong makipag-usap sayo. I just don't have the courage." I said, still trying to calm myself.

"What is it?" She asked softly.

"Well, I know things didn't end up good between us. I, uh, just want to know, if, you know, I just didn't believed what you told me. I know there are deeper reasons why. I know its already a long time ago. I'll be honest with you. You hurt me real bad and I was so stubborn to listen to you after what happen until you stopped trying. I know our break up cost you your friendship with the other girls. I really want to move pass that and in order to start a new life, I want to know why." I explained.

"What do you want to know?" She asked, almost whispering and head down.

"Lahat. I know you, hindi ka makikipagbreak sa akin dahil lang sawa ka na. I know you better than that." I said.

"I'll be honest with you, you are my world back then and I'll do anything for you. You were offered a scholarship and job in New York and you told me you won't take it because we knew that I cannot come with you. You said, magsesettle ka na lang dito sa Pilipinas with a corporate job na pareho nating alam na hindi mo gusto para lang makasama ako." She took a deep breath and continue. "I would really loved that idea kung selfish ako. Pero dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sayo, I made decisions na alam kong masasaktan ka and believed me, it hurt more because I needed to do it myself. Ayaw kong masaktan ka pero we know how you are, we know how stubborn you are. I don't want you to suffer and do something na hindi mo naman talaga gusto. I don't want you to settle for less because of me. Masyado kitang mahal para itali sa bewang ko. I was living my dream here, doing what I love and what I want. Gusto ikaw rin. I needed to set you free , even hurt you, just so you'll choose to fly. It cost my friendship with Kean, Pia, Sarah, Bea and Alex but it was all worth it noong unti-unti ka ng nakilala sa New York then in L.A. and the rest of the world. Alex came around and talk to me. I told her everything. I know I broke your heart into pieces but my world crashed. I barely lived, Julian. Buhay ako pero araw-araw, I felt like I'm suffocating. There's one point na pinagsisihan ko iyong ginawa ko, I wanted to take back everything I told you pero ayaw mo na akong kausapin. I've been in New York and L.A. multiple times for the first two years. I watched you took the stairs of world you really want to climb. After I saw you embracing your success saka lang ako tumigil pumunta sa States. I'm so sorry, I really am. For hurting you. I just don't want you to end up not being happy here." Her tears streamed continuously down her beautiful face. She sobbed in her own hands. Hindi ko na napigilan. I pulled her into my arms. I let her shed her tears I knew she bottled up for the last four years.

"I wish you went up to me when you visited New York or L.A. I wished I knew so I didn't become such a bitch to you. I wished you tried explaining to me what your intentions are from the beginning so it saved us from getting hurt." I said softly. She cried harder and harder. I knew she had a lot to cry for. Her tears are worth for years. I was hurt by the fact that she suffered alone and I had my friends' back when I cried.

"I-i'm s-sorry, J-julian. I really am." She said in between her tears. I hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry too. It could have save us from suffering too much if I listened to you." I whispered.

It broke my heart when I saw how broken she was. Her tear stained eyes was full of sadness and pain. Hindi katulad noon na puno ng buhay. Pero I also saw relief across it na para bang may natanggal na mabigat na bagay sa balikat niya, na para bang ngayon lang siya nakahinga.

"Now that its all cleared up. I really want to move pass that." I said and looked into her eyes. There was hurt, sadness and lost in her eyes.

"I-i h-hope that you'll be happy now that you had the c-closure that you want. I r-really hope that y-you'll find someone that will make y-you t-truly happy." She stuttered. I know she felt defeated and I smiled.

"Oh, nakita ko na siya." I grinned at her.

"C-congrats! G-good for you. I-i really wish you happiness." She almost whispered. "Sorry it took us four years to clear things up. I really wish you a happy beginning with that person." She said genuinely.

"Well, it will only be a happy beginning if you'll start it with me."

A/N

Hi! If there's anyone out there na nagbabasa nito, sorry for the slow updates. I just write for fun and kung may oras ako. I hope you get to enjoy reading it as much I had fun writing it kahit matagal. Thank you for the time! :)