Avoiding the truth || Dan and Phil

Crushes from the past

A week left until I have to make the decision to either break it off with Phil, or let the feelings that I have developed win and stay with him. It's hard staying with one person when you used to not care and date + sleep with whoever, but do I really want my life to be this way just because I got my heart broken by PJ? It's kind of silly looking back and thinking about it, and I still don't understand why he thought it was okay to hurt me like he did, but I shouldn't let the memory of that scare me when I start developing feelings for someone and getting into a relationship. If I'm being honest, I really do like Phil. Like a lot. Which is something I never thought I would say. He's just so kind and sweet, nerdy and fun, caring and optimistic, gentle and just all around an amazing person. I feel as if I were to break up with him I would be throwing away such a beautiful person who really makes me happy. Do I avoid the feelings that are growing for him and I go back to not caring for others and sleeping with whoever, or have him become my first official boyfriend? I can't avoid the truth, but I don't want the truth end up hurting me.

I head down to my art class, which thankfully is the last class of the day. I sigh as I just want to get this day over with. I then notice Phil waiting for me up ahead. The smile on his face putting me straight into a good mood.

"Hey Dan!" He greets. His bubbly voice making my stomach fill with butterflies, causing my cheeks to blush instantly

"Hi, Phil." I respond. He walks beside me as we head to our class. I sigh as that same happiness yet uncomfortable feeling returns again, making me think about the choice I'm going to have to make next week

"So, one week left." Phil begins. It's like he can read my mind. "You know what you are going to do once this month is over?" Phil asks while nudging me with his elbow. I shrug my shoulders as I think deeply about this. On one hand yes I admit I have fallen for Phil and he was able to make me start gaining care and feelings toward another human being. I have never told him that yet. But on the other hand I don't know if I want to stay stuck with one person and not being able to explore everyone... That came out more slutty then I expected it to.

Phil reaches out his arm to stop me. He then grabs my hand and pulls me out of the middle of the hallway and over to the side. "What is it?" I ask as he turns to me.

"I just want you to know that, even though I do really like you, which is something I never thought I would say." He pauses as he stares at me. "Wow. Things can change." He says to himself. He then shakes his head. "Anyway, even though I like you and would hope that you like me too, I won't be upset if next week you do happen to break things off with me." He says, not being able to make eye connect with me. Which I think is because he probably most likely would be upset, but doesn't want me to know. "And if you do feel nothing towards me then I can at least brag to Meghan how I was right about you." He adds. I sigh to the thought of them betting if I actually had a heart for someone or not. Phil doesn't know this, but Meghan is actually wrong too whatever they have betted.

"Phil I-" Suddenly the bell goes off and everyone starts making their way to class. Phil smiles and looks up at me.

"Guess we should get to class." He says. I nod my head. "Will you be sitting alone in art or are you going to sit with Meghan and I?"

"I guess I'll sit with you guys." I say. His smile widens before he leans up and kisses my cheek. My heart fluttering as he pulls away. I just want to make out with him so badly but for whatever reason he tenses and gets very shy when things start to get heated. It's a little strange and nothing I'm used to, but to be honest I actually like not fucking someone the day of meeting them. I don't feel as ashamed and gross with myself anymore.