Dear Freya,

2

Again, I am ashamed to say this... I got completely wasted with Arizona. We were now in the upstairs of Jordan's house. There was a big group of people sitting in a circle. Then I saw my best friend, my only friend, my first love. "Colton!" My drunk self shouted out. He turned around and walked over to me and Arizona, "hey Freya." He grinned, I love when he grins. "What's up, boy." I slurred. "Are you drunk?" He asked, amusement clear on his face . "Maybe." Arizona answered for me. "Yeah, I was alone, thanks to you," I shoved my finger into his chest accusingly, "and Arizona here found me and took me to the table with the thingies." His smile faltered, "Did you force her to drink?" He now faces Arizona, by faced I mean he looked down, Colton was already 6 foot where as Arizona was maybe a few inches taller than my 5'2 self. "Well, I wouldn't say I forced her." She giggled, on the brink of being drunk herself. He stared her in the eye for a few more moments before turning back to me, "I think we should go."

"No!" I shouted like a kid who refused to do he chores. "Freya." He said in a sterner tone. "We're leaving, now." "Why?" I whined. "I don't want you around bad influences." He stated looking over towards Arizona who was now jamming out to the song playing. "You can't tell me what to do!" I shouted, grabbed Arizona's hand, and walked over to the big group on the floor. "Ooh what are we doing?" Arizona questioned with child like curiosity.  "Well we're playing 7 minutes in heaven." A boy with neon yellow hair replied. "Thank you, pikachu." She thanked. I felt someone grab my arm, it was Colton. "Please come back with me."  "Yo don't be a buzzkill!" Arizona rolled her eyes. "Yeah, don't be such a buzz kill" I slurred in agreement.

"I nominate my girl Frey Frey and señor buzzkill over there." I turned to Arizona who was pointing to the both of us. The crowd began to chant, "Frey Frey, Buzzkill!" "To the closet" pikachu pushed us in.

When we were inside I could hear the crowd cheering for us from the other side of the door. "Sooooo" I winked. "Freya.." He looked to the side uncomfortably. "We have seven minutes." I smiled. (yes to this day I still get second hand embarrassment from this) "Can I tell you a secret?" I slurred. "Um sure" he backed up a bit. "I love you." He rubbed the back of his neck, "yeah I love you too." I took a few steps towards him, "No, like I love love you, since the day you became my friend, I've been in love with you." He looked into my eyes for a moment, I saw it, I saw the sadness in his eyes at that moment. He cleared his throat, "I'm moving."

I immediately sobered up, "What?" He looked away and shrugged, "I'm moving." I furrowed my brows getting slightly agitated, "okay I got that, dumbass." By slightly I meant very. "Where are you moving to?" He sighed, "Colorado." I shook my head, " You can't." My eyes tearing up. " I'm sorry I wanted to tell you earlier but-" "How long have you known?" I cut him off. He looked down and spoke in a small voice, " Two months." Two. Months. "You'll be able to visit right?" I was getting desperate, "you can live with me and my parents!" He shook his head, "I can't." "Why, your parents won't mind they love us." I nearly shouted. "No I can't stay." I stared at him with a hard gaze, "You can't stay or you don't want to." "Freya, I'm leaving soon and I don't want to fight." Wow, he avoided my question... "When are you leaving?" I could already feel my hot tears coursing down my cheeks. He rubbed his neck again, "Two weeks."

I turned around and left.

I was now sprinting out of the house, as far as my short legs could take me. "Shit. Freya!" I heard Arizona's voice from behind me, catching up. "You can't out run me!" I shouted back. "Bitch, I'm on the track team." She was already next to me.  "Damn." I stopped, out of breath. "What's wrong?" Arizona looked at me with genuine concern. "I don't want to talk about it." If I were to speak about to about it, I don't think I'd ever stop.

We were now outside Jordan's house next a tree. "So are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Arizona repeats. "No." I reply gasping for air, "I don't feel well." I felt all the contents I had just downed rising up from the pits of hell (aka my stomach.) "Okay, um.. Do you want water?"she asked already knowing my answer, "I'll get you some water." With that she jogged back into the house.

"Hey, were you just with Arizona?" An unfamiliar voice asked. Note that I was hunched over so I could only see their shoes, their so very expensive shoes. I nodded my head. "Oh cool, cool." The guy replied, "so uh where is she now?" I looked up, giving him a 'what the fuck' look, "why?" I asked breathlessly. "Oh well, uh, see here's the deal," he gave a small laugh, "so I'm her ex but was kinda hoping to not be her ex after tonight, you know after she had a few drink, if you know what I'm sayin." He told me, as if I was one of his guy friends, about a girl he was banging. I felt the contents begin to come up, "I'm so sorry, shoes." He cocked his head to the side, "Oh uh, my names not sho-" I'm sure you already know what cut him off.

"What the fuck man!" The guy looked down horrified that I had just spewed chunks all over his beautiful shoes. "Karma." I coughed, my voice raw. "What did you just say?" He looked at me as if I was the lowest thing on earth. "Don't treat girls like that." I slowly got up, coughed a little more and limped away feeling like shit.

"Hey, I was looking for you." Arizona jogged up to me. "Yeah, your ex was looking for you." I put the word ex in quotation marks. "Which one?" I let out a dry laugh, "The one with vomit on his shoes." She cocked her head to the side then shrugged it off, "Are you feeling any better?"
"Define better." I replied sarcastically. She stared at me for a bit then shrugged, "Well I guess I'd need to know the context." I let out a deep sigh, "my best friend," she raised her eyebrows in confusion, "buzz kill" I clarified. "Well, he's moving, far away." "When?"Arizona asked. "Like two weeks or something," I tugged on my blond hair, " it's not even that, it's that he didn't tell me sooner." She gave an apologetic smile, "Maybe he didn't want to hurt you?" Rolling my eyes I replied , "well mission not accomplished." "Listen... He's leaving in two weeks, are you really going to be mad at him for the remaining time ya'll have left?" Shit, I knew she had a point.

Arizona and I did the responsible thing and walked home, well.... It was more like stumbled home.  We arrived to my house and Arizona continued to be in awe of the size of my house. "How is it so big???" Her jaw dropped. I rolled my eyes and ignored her. We reached my room where I cried my self to sleep.

It was now the next morning and I decided to finally talk to Colton, Arizona offered to come with, but I could tell by her constant yawns that she was too tired and hungover.  Colton had texted and called the majority of the night. We met at his house and my mom dropped me off.

I entered the front door and noticed things I hadn't before, like how the door frame where Colton and his sister's heights were recorded was now painted over with white paint. Tears began to weld up in my eyes, the slight dent in his wall from when we played soccer was repaired, it started to feel final. "Freya?" Colton's raw voice broke me out of my trance. My eyes locked onto his, his beautiful emerald eyes were now dull and bloodshot. "I'm sorry," I said in a whisper, "for making you cry." He furrowed his brows, " No, no, no, it's not your fault, please don't cry." We both cried for maybe an hour, I know, it's rough.

Two weeks went by quick, I never left his side, but now it was time for him to leave mine.

His house was completely empty, kinda like how I felt at that moment. I hugged his family and said good by and then got to him. We stared at each other for a while not knowing what to say, "bye?" I broke the silence. He shook his head, "No, I'm not going to say goodbye, cause we'll see each other again." I rolled my teary eyes and gave a small laugh, "you're such a nerd." He smiled and laughed with me, "You love it." His smile faded, "I love you." I looked down and nodded, I love you too. I would have said, if I wasn't sobbing so hard, instead, I just stood there shoulders shaking and gasping for air. He brought me into his arms, kissed the top of my head, let go, and got into his car. They began to drive away, the farther they got the heavier my heart felt. My phone vibrated and I looked down... A text from Colton,

Colton: see you soon:)