Dear Freya,

6

"Hey hey!" My "friend" Bailey took a seat next to me. "Hey how are you?" I attempted a smile but since my braces were just tightened it turned out to be more of a grimace. "I'm fine, how's he doing out there?" She was referring to Colton. It was the district championships for soccer and he was a midfielder. " He's doing okay I guess." I looked down awkwardly, I wasn't into sports, I only came to see Colton. "Is he playing right now? What's his number?" My brows furrowed, hm she was asking a lot of questions about him, "Uh, yeah. Number 15."

Her smile grew, "I like the number 15."

Oh. I guess I'm not the only one who liked him. That was stupid of me to think otherwise. So dumb. I should have known, I began to think long and hard about this, we were only in the seventh grade but could she want to date him? This hurt. My chest tightened a bit, calm down.

"Do you like him?" I blurted out. Stupid. She looked taken aback at first, "Yeah, I guess I do." Oh.

"Go Colton!" She stood up from the bleachers and cheered. I sat by her awkwardly for the rest of the half. "Do my boobs look good?" She turns to me with a worried expression, "I want to impress him." I let out a humorless laugh, "You're thirteen, I don't think it matters." She stared me down, and for the first time in my thirteen years of living my blood ran cold and I began to shake nervously. I was being stared down by a cobra who was ready to strike. "That's all boys care about, if you don't have a good body, they'll never like you." She gave me a sickly sweet smile.

I looked down at my own body, lumps and all, I couldn't see my feet sitting down, or standing. Sometimes I forget what they look like. Her words hit me hard. Imagine a seventh grader with extremely low self esteem, hearing a beautiful girl who, let's be honest bloomed a little early, say that boys only like girls who are skinny. Obviously I heard some truth in that, I wondered maybe that's why I never had a boyfriend, maybe thats why Colton didn't like me back.

Those words hit me almost as hard as Colton hit the ground. While I was contemplating my entire existence it turns out a player on the other team shoved Colton into the metal bench they had on the field. Boy was that the first time I've ever seen Mr. Macho Colton sob.
...

I stare at the scar he got from that day on his right temple. Eight stitches. "Freya?" He gives me a weird look. I blink back at him in response. "Um," he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "You look different since the last time I saw you." I laughed, I didn't mean to but I did. It was loud. "Really, what changed? My hair? My friends? My weight?" I spat the last one out. He looked extremely taken aback. "What no, well yeah, but no." Colton stuttered eyes wide not knowing exactly what to say. I shake my head, I never thought I would see him again. I would have been happy if it turned out that way.

My heart is beating out of my chest and I'm feeling lightheaded. I can't really hear my breathing due to my heart thumping so loudly but I would assume I was hyperventilating. "I came here to say goodbye to Mabel." I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Okay" I reply stupidly. He kinda stares at me confused for a minute. Longest minute of my life. "Um, also I wanted to tell you something." My eyes dart to my friend group to the left, all too involved to see me frantically trying to signal them.

"What is it?" My vision begins to tunnel. "I -" "Colton Johns!? Alive in the flesh! My dear boy!" A shrill voice interrupts him. "Mrs. Barnes." He smiled yet his voice sounded so unenthusiastic. "How are you dear? I see you and my daughter are talking." She smiles hopefully, as if we're going to procreate right in the middle of this funeral, giving her her precious grandchildren she's always wanted since the moment she knew I liked him. "Yes, I was just about to tell her that I was mo-" "Honey, I'd love to hear this but our house just sent a security alert showing Arizona entered, can't have her waiting long," She interrupts him once again. "Can't have her stealing anything either." She mutters under her breath. Bitch.