Homestuck Oneshot Compilation

Haru x Water x Meenah

#tw: crack, ooc-ness, and crossovers involving THE haruka nanase.
I regret nothing.
Also I apologize if people are offended by the whole "threesome" joke, none of this is serious.
Anyway coughillshutup.
Mizu is Japanese for water, thought I'd throw that out there
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     Meenah and Haru floated on their backs at the local pool. They'd been holding hands and staring at the cloudless sky in blissful silence for gog knows how long, until Meenah commented,
     "Damn, I love water."
     Haru turned his head slightly to look at his slightly-demonic-alien girlfriend.
     "I bet I love the water more than you do."
     She barked out a laugh and exclaimed, "Shore you do! And Nagisa's straight, too!"
     "Does Rei know about this?" Haru asked blankly. "And you're the one who joined our relationship. It's a good thing Mizu-senpai is so open-minded."
     "Water loves me more," she snorted.
     He sighed and looked back up at the sky. "You're lying."
     "Prove it."
     "It isn't a competition."
     "Why not? You know I ain't searious."
     "It's because of...of Rin," he sighed, clenching his hand.
     Meenah frowned. "That motherglubbing beach. He really ruined racing for you?"
     "I only swim free because Mizu-senpai makes me feel free! How am I supposed to feel free when I'm worrying about times or--or--"
     Meenah stood up in the water, and gently tugged on Haru's hand to indicate that he should do the same.
      She then hugged him and whispered, "Shhhh. Everyfin's alright. I know that glubber stresses you out, but we'll get this sh** sorted out."
     He nodded, then asked, "Promise you won't stab a beach?"
     She immediately grinned and moved back to look at him.
      "You did the pun thing! Oh my cod oh my cod--"
      "Meenah. Promise?" he repeated, smiling slightly.
      "Nah, I don't promise. #Rin's on my hitlist. #Sucka's gonna get a trident to the throat before mornin'."
     There was a loud "PWHEEEEEET", then, "LIFEGUARD BREAK, everyone out of the water!"
     "Mizu-senpai disapproves," Haru sighed.
     "Really? I thought that was Kankri."
     "Who?"
     The lifeguard blew his whistle again and repeated, "OUT OF THE POOL, people!"
     "Nofin. Now come on, we can go to the kiddie pool during the break."
     "Shell yes." Haru smiled.
     Meenah's grin widened. "Cod, I love you."
     "I love you like I love water."
     "D'aww. You're the sweetest."
      The lifeguard disagreed.