Ivan's been avoiding me today. I feel so bad now. He's never like this to me. In sixth period, Ivan sits next to me. I go to tap his arm but he tugs away. He is really warm. Abnormal warm. I sigh and look at the board. I see mathematical terms but I can not hear the teacher. It's like I've learned how to block her out. She can be really annoying at times. I hate it.
The bell rings and I grab my bag and books and start rushing towards Ivan but before I can even reach the door, He's gone. Instead of going to class I look around for him. I look in rooms, outside, In the library, in the cafeteria, before I finally find him. He's sitting in an empty room that no one owns right now. He's doing some sort of homework. I walk into the room quietly and sit there. He's punching in numbers into his calculator.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask him and he just looks up. He sighs and looks back at his book. He begins to scribble a number down on the notebook he has been writing on. I sigh and begin to talk, "Why are you so upset with me? There's no reason to be. I love Chase and he's good for me. I know that you don't think so but I do..." I pause for a moment. "I deserve an explanation." "No... What you deserve is a better man. Not some lunatic like he is" He looks at me with sad eyes.
I get up and walk over to him. He looks back at his book , then I say "Then tell me why you hate him so much. Tell me why he's not a good man. Tell me why you don't look at me the same anymore!" He puts his pen down and stares at the book. I lean my hands on the desk he's sitting in, "I need answers, Ivan. I can't keep sitting here wondering if you're okay or worry where yo-" He gets up and grabs my cheek and places his lips upon mine. He kisses me... He KISSES me!!
I step back, I cover my mouth and look at him. I slowly remove my hand and say "What was that for?" He sighs and slams his book closed. He stacks his notebook on the Algebra 2 textbook, slings his bag over his shoulder and he looks at me, "That's why I can't give you answers..and that's why I think you should deserve better then him.." He walks past me and out the room. I stand there for a minute trying to piece together what just happened. Did he just kiss me? Or is the just a dream? I close my eyes, trying to wake up but when I reopen them, I see an empty classroom. I guess it was not a dream.
I sigh and grab my bag and walk out the room. I walk past people skipping class and past the girls bathroom, which smells like cheap cotton candy perfume. I walk out the hallway towards my car. I go to unlock my car door when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I gasp, drop my keys and swing around. Chase stands there with his hands up with palms facing me "Whoa..... Are you okay?" I look at him then I look down, "Oh.... yeah.. I'm fine." I bend down and pick up my keys. I turn back around and start unlocking my door again.
"Are you sure, Babe?" He asks. I nod and finally get my door open. I throw my bag in my car and he grabs my waist. I turn to face him. His cold hands brush against my cheek and he moves my hair behind my ear. I stand there awkwardly. "You want to go see a movie Saturday night?" he asks softly. I look across the parking lot to see Ivan and his friends laughing and joking around. Ivan's leaning against the wall facing us. His lips curl into a smile and I can see the mist of his breath in the cold air.
"Naomi..." Chase moves his head in my view and I look at him, "Huh?... Oh.. Yeah.. Saturday's good..." I look at Ivan and he looks at me. He shakes his head and goes back to his friends. "I've got to go" I say to Chase "I have tons of homework to do." I smile and give him a peck on the cheek. I get in my car before he could say anything else. I put on my seat belt and look out the foggy window. I can see Chase walk away and I sigh. I put the car in gear and pull out.
As I'm driving I start to think.... a Lot.. I hate it when I do this. My problem is that when I think a lot, I think of every possible thing go wrong and my life is at a dead end at age seventeen... Pictures of Ivan keep appearing in my head over and over again. It's like a slide show with no music.I try to push them out of my head but I'm too weak to fight... I can't think straight.. Why?
