Kol Mikaelson - The Originals Imagines & Drabbles

Request - Kol Mikaelson "What is this feeling?" (Sequel)

Sequel to: Long Lost Lover (August 2016), "An Awful Lot of Darkness" and "A few steps too far"

The square was filled with the sound of ambulances and sirenes of police cars. People were screaming and crying. Some of them were holding blackened bodies, while others were simply staring into nowhere next to a pile of ash.

Kol had done things like this before. He had murdered entire villages, he had slaughtered complete cities, he had left a trail of bodies behind him without ever looking back, without feeling guilty. After all, not once had a crime been his fault.

The blame for his previous crimes had rested on the shoulders of his family. If his brothers wouldn't have yelled at him, Kol wouldn't have felt the urge to let out his frustration on innocent human beings. The blame of his previous crimes had been put on you. If you would have been with him, Kol wouldn't have felt alone or broken. The blame of his previous crimes had rested on his victims. If they wouldn't have sparked his anger, Kol would have kept them alive.

But Klaus' words were echoing through his mind. "Easy, isn't it? To blame others for the mistakes we make?" The words started to sound louder and louder. Until they were causing a headache that worsened and worsened.

"Please, sir, help me..." A young woman lifted the blackened body of a young boy up. "Please, save the life of my son!" Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Her son wasn't breathing anymore. His skin was destroyed and it was impressive that the mother seemed to be this sure that the person she was holding was her son.

"Your son is dead. No one can help him anymore." Kol shook his head and he started to walk faster. For the first time in weeks he started to miss the vampire speed that would have gotten him out of here in less than a second.

This wouldn't have happened if you had not fallen for Lucien Castle. This wouldn't have happened if you had not told Kol that you were happy with Lucien Castle. This wouldn't have happened if you had accepted his apologies and had wanted to start over.

Kol whispered the words. Said them louder. Screamed them. But an unfamiliar feeling started to slip through the mazes of the wall he had built around his own cold heart. Guilt.

All the screaming people. All the crying people. All the blackened people. All the wounded people. All the dead people. They had been innocent. In every version of the story, no matter who was to blame. They had been innocent.

Kol had been the one to destroy them, their lives and the lives of the ones who loved them. With only one move of his hand he had cursed those people to live with pain even worse than the pain he was feeling himself.

"If I were you I would turn around and go somewhere else." Rebekah raised her eyebrows and she had her arms crossed over her chest. "(Y/N), doesn't want to see you anymore and I am damn sure even mother regrets saving your stupid ass once again."

Kol had not even realized that he was standing in front of the Mikaelson Mansion. "This is my home. You can at least let me in!" Kol lifted his arms up and all of a sudden he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. "I know that I'm an awful person and I know that I'm a monster." He turned around and he raised his voice. "But I have nowhere else to go. You have to let me in!"

"You can come ask again in a few hours when you've calmed down." Rebekah almost slammed the iron gate to his face and Kol took a deep breath while he turned around not having the slightest idea where to go.