Fix me. (Miniminter)

Death Is Weird.

It had been a few days now that i'd spent grieving at the sidemen house, I spent most of the time in Simons room, just sitting in his bed and listening to music, trying to block out the world.

Watching Simon record and edit his videos was quite therapeutic, I was just sat in the background, obviously not in view of the camera. I saw all the outtakes, and all the final cuts. Even though when he played Fifa it was slightly too loud for me.

It was around 5:30am, a regular time for me to wake up now. I haven't slept in a while, I was a walking zombie most of the time. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes, yawning as I turn looking to the side of me noticing Simon fast asleep. His shirtless body being tucked into the plain white sheets was a thing of beauty.

I slide out of bed and slide on his SDMN hoodie and some of his grey joggers. I haven't been home to get any of my clothes, not because I've been busy or anything, I just wouldn't dare set foot anywhere near that place, I get shivers down my spine every time I think about it.

I make my way down the stairs to find JJ still up, not having gone to bed yet. "Hi." I smiled, there was never really anyone down here during the early hours of the mornings so it was weird talking to someone.

"Oh hey, you okay?" He asked standing up and putting his laptop down on the sofa next to him, I nod my head but you could clearly see the tears forming in my eyes. I ignore the lump at the back of throat and push a smile up my cheeks.

"It's okay." He tells me with a sigh, walking up to me and giving me a bear hug. I have to say JJ's hugs are the best, you feel so protected.

I tried my best not to cry, I've cried too much. I embrace JJ tightly as he rubs my back. "We are here for you." He adds, I never really saw his serious side until now, it was nice.

I pull away and walk away from him, pushing my hair from my face and filling up the kettle with water. "Tea?" I asked JJ. He turned to me and smiled. "Yeah, I'll do it, you sit down." He told me walking towards me and starting to fill up two mugs with tea bags. I just nod and sit on the counter next to him.

"Fancy going out for a drink later? If you're going to be dating my best friend I think I'm gonna wanna know you better. He smirked up to me as he filled his mug with sugar. I just roll my eyes and shake my head, "We are not dating." I replied with a smirk, looking down to my knees and frowning.

I mean we weren't 'only' friends, but we weren't dating. We went on one date and that didn't end up well.

"Sure." He says sarcastically and hands me my cup of tea with a wink.

"But I would love to come out with you later for a little catch up, you need to go get some sleep first." I told him, seeing as it was now 6am. He just has a little giggle and walks towards his laptop holding it under his arm, his mug in his other hand. "I'll see you later, wake me up at like 1." He asks and I nod, looking down to my tea.

I was still pondering what I was going to be doing after I leave here, I haven't told anyone I could be moving to America and I am not planning to anytime soon.

The thought of staying here permanently had crossed my mind several times but it wouldn't work for several reasons, first of all what if me and Simon don't end up working out? Plus I doubt living in a house with four other guys wouldn't be a very good idea.

If I don't get my own place soon I'm screwed.

I sat and binge watched Walking Dead for a few hours until I heard the first victim to the morning slumping loudly down the stairs. They emerge into the living room and I turn to look at who it was. Simon.

"Heya." I smiled up to him, turning my head back around and checking the time on my phone, it's 11am, I should probably start getting ready.

"Hey." He smiled walking behind the sofa and wrapping his arms around my shoulders burying his head into my neck. "You know it would be nice one of these days for me to actually wake up next to you." He speaks, his raspy voice sending chills down my spine.

I turn my head and smile slightly. "Sorry." I tell him, turning back and switching off the TV and standing up. "I'm gonna go get ready, I'll be in your room if you need me." I say with a smile making my way back upstairs.

I ended up wearing a light amount of makeup, winged eyeliner and a nude lip. My hair was tied up into a ponytail and slightly messy. Checking my phone I was half expecting a text from my mum asking me where I was, but then I remembered.

Death is weird.

Their funeral is tomorrow and Simon said he would be attending with me, you never know it could be a bit of closure.

I sigh at myself in the mirror, searching through Simons clothes to see if there was anything passable for girls clothes. I found some old skinny jeans that he must have outgrown and slide them on. I look at my body in the mirror and realise how dangerously skinny I was getting. I haven't been eating properly, and now it's taking its toll.

I just shake my head and walk into Viks room, knocking quietly before walking in.

"Hey Vik, have you got any spare tops I can borrow, Simons are too big for me." I tell him with a shrug. I could tell that he didn't really know how to talk to me, trying his best not to hurt my feelings in any way, bless him.

"Uh yeah sure." He said standing up straight away and walking to his closet, handing me a selection to choose from. I picked a grey top and smiled leaning over and giving him a hug. "Thank you." I smiled and walked out closing the door quietly.

As soon I was ready I check the time and see that it was just after one, I need to go and get JJ up.

I walk across the hallway and knock on his door gently, walking inside after there was no answer. "JJ?" I mumbled as I saw him move slightly under his sheets. "Its one." I say popping my head through the door.

"Yeah I'm up." He groaned rubbing his eyes. I just nod and close his door, walking downstairs to be greeted with Josh and Simon sat on the sofa watching tv together. I sit down next to Simon and scroll through twitter. I told Simon and the rest of the boys not to follow me or mention me on any social media, the last thing I want right now is hate.

Around half an hour later JJ walks down the stairs, keys in hand. "Ready?" He asks with a smile, I was honestly looking forward to spending time with him. I feel like he could be such a great friend.

"Yup." I smiled standing up and walking outside behind him.

(This is kind of just a filler for what happens next chapter, so i'm sorry if it was a little boring. Give me requests on how you would like the story to go! I never plan what I write it just comes in my head as I do it. So feel free to send me in some ideas! Much love and thank you for reading my book!)

(PS if you are into Asking Alexandria, especially Ben Bruce I'm writing a second fanfic about them, called 'It can happen to anyone', give it a read! But Simons fanfic is what I will be focusing on.)