Fix me. (Miniminter)

Too Early.

Simon pushed me down to the bed, my hands made their way down his torso to the bottom of his top. I pull it over his head, breaking the kiss for a brief moment. I smirked as he instantly lowered his head back down.

He reached down and started to pull my top from my shorts, I squirm a little, obviously slightly nervous. "It's ok." He whispers, kissing my neck and leaving my shirt for now.

I started to sweat, my heart race increasing as the seconds pass. I look at the ceiling as he kisses all over my chest and collarbones. I didn't feel right. I can't do this. My body started to panic, as if someone was attacking me. I tried to reassure myself that it's just Simon, he won't hurt me.

"No!" I scream, pushing him off me with a little bit too much force. I didn't even mean to, it was instinctive. He stands at the end of the bed, looking down to me a little out of breath, not saying a word.

"I-I'm sorry." I tell him, resting my hands in between my legs innocently as I looked up to him. I was still fully dressed, he was obviously shirtless. He looks away from me and rubs his face a little awkwardly.

"It's okay, it wouldn't have been a good idea anyway." He tells me. I felt awful. I just think we are rushing into things, I wasn't ready for this yet. I stand up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him softly. A few seconds later I pull away a little and rest my forehead against his. "Maybe one day." I say pecking his cheek, leaving small wet kisses down his neck to his collarbone.

I smile to myself against his skin, leaving a small hickey on the top of his shoulder blade. He hugs me tightly and chuckles. "Fucker."

A few hours passed and we were just sat on my sofa watching TV. Simon was sat closer to the screen to me so he couldn't see that I was staring at him basically the entire time. I couldn't figure him out, I can't seem to let him in.

He fell asleep not long after we even switched on the TV, I couldn't help myself as he snored softly, his arms crossed over his chest and his head leaning back on the back of the sofa, showing off his defined jawline.

I stood up, grabbing a large comfy blanket and throwing it over him. I lean down and kiss his stubbly cheek, then leaving the room and quietly walking into mine.

I undress and get into my pyjamas, tucking myself into bed and switching my phone on. I decided to scroll through mine and my mums text conversations, a single tear rolling down my cheek as I do so. I'm never going to get over them, I'm going be pushing people away for the rest of my life until I start to accept the truth.

they're gone, and there's nothing I can do about it. I cry to myself, hugging the side of my duvet, wiping my tears away with the side of my arm. A few minutes later I hear my door open, I knew who it was. I don't even turn around as he climbs into bed with me, wrapping his sturdy arms around my waist. I turned to him and cried into his neck. Our skin colliding made me feel warm, safe.

I didn't stop crying until I fell asleep, comfy in Simons arms.

(Sorry for the short chapter, INSANE writers block.)