....

Selena

" Brooke you want me to drop you to your house ? " " yea that's cool " I drove towards her house , Brooke didn't live to far from Bobbie so it wasn't out the way , Taz car was at my house so she was coming back with me. " So how long your friend knew Tee ? " " Not long , she actually just met her like last week . " " Ooo okay " " Why you know Tee too ? " " Nha , I just met her last night , she's cool peoples " " So you was checking for my homegirl or something ? " I asked with my face screwed up because I knew this girl wasn't checking for my homegirl after we were together last night " Nha shorty chill out , just making small talk " " hmp that's all it better be ". I kept driving until I pulled up to Brooke's house. " See you later , call me later on girl " " Okay later , bye Taz " " Later Brooke " I pulled off and headed to my house. My phone started ringing so I picked up " Yea Hello ? " " Hey baby where are you ? " " I'm On my way home I just finished dropping Brooke off , where are you ? " " I'm in the house waiting for you " " okay I'll be there soon , see you later " I hung up , that was my man Lamar. Yes I have a man ! Tuh you probably thought I was a hoe or something but I'm not sorry honey ! Anyways me and Lamar been messing around for about 5 years now on and off , I met him a while back at a convention for my job , he's a CEO for this company in the city. Lamar doesn't know I mess around with woman and he won't know either , what me a Taz did or do is mostly on a drunk night I'm not really into woman like that it's bad for business. I pulled up to my house 5 mins later parked my car and got out. " okay so text me or something later " " alright I got you " me and Taz said our goodbyes and I headed in the house to Lamar. " Hey baby " I gave him a hug and a kiss , he was sitting at the table doing some paper work , he's always working. " Hey Hun , how was your night with the girls ? " " it was fun , it was like a big slumber party " " Sounds exciting " he barely took his eyes off his paper work. I took my shoes off and headed to the bedroom to get undressed. I needed to shower and stuff I had some work myself to finish up on. " Hey Lee can you do me a favor and bring me that folder on the night stand " I grabbed the folder to take it to him. " here babe " I loved the fact that Lamar was such a hard worker I just hate the fact that it limited our time together , he's such a business man and that's what attracts me too him. I had the late shift at the hospital tonight so I figured I'd get a nap in before. " I'm gonna shower and take a nap before work " " okay baby , I'll be here when you wake up , I can drop you off " " okay " I gave him a kiss and headed to the back. I slept until around 6:30 , I woke up still feeling restless. I checked my phone and I had a missed call from Bobbie and a text message from Sin. I'd respond to them when I got in the car right now I had to get ready for work. Me and Lamar were in the car on our way " Lamar we have reservations Wednesday at the restaurant , you remember ? " " Yes Hun , I remember I'll be there at 7 , I have a business meeting and then I'm coming straight there " " Okay just double checking " " you know you marked it in my phone so it would remind me " " good ! " I'd always have to set reminders in Lamar's phone , if I didn't he would miss half his meetings. We pulled up to the hospital , I gave him a kiss and got out. " you don't have to pick me up , Bobbies gonna bring me home" " okay " I waved and went inside. " Hey Karen what do I have today ? " " you have a patient in room 3 and your 7:30 is here " " okay , thank you " I was the head Nurse at the hospital so I usually consulted all the doctors patients before they saw them. I grabbed the charts and headed to room 3 to check " Hello my name is nurse Fisher and I will be consulting you before Dr. Murphy sees you " " hello nice to meet you " I checked all the paper work and did my routine clearance with the patient and then headed to see my 7:30. I opened the door to the office and she was sitting there waiting " Hey , sorry to keep you waiting I got caught up with another patient. " " it's cool , do you have any updates ? " she asked , I took a seat at the desk and looked over the paper work " Honestly it's all up to you now , we did the chemo , radiation and everything else we could think of , now it's just a waiting game. " she's signed and dropped her head " I'm trying to stay positive , I haven't even told anyone yet , not until there's absolutely nothing else I can do about it , I don't wanna give up Lee , not yet ... " " I know so look here's what we will do , I'll schedule you for another round for Thursday , in the mean time keep taking the medicine Dr. Murphy gave you get your refill from Regina at the desk and we can go from there " I hated to see her like this and I hated keeping this secret but it was my job and I couldn't put it at risk or her. " Okay that's cool , listen I really appreciate this , I know this is really hard for you to do but I couldn't trust anyone else , thanks Lee " " No problem , look text me later and get some rest " " Okay " . We walked out the door said our goodbyes and I went to finish my rounds. It was time for my break and I was starving , thank god I packed a lunch. " Hey Tammy could you pass me the green container in the fridge " " Here you go girl " Tammy was one of nurses I hung around often she was real cool and down to earth , she was bit older than me so I always looked at her as a older sister. " Did you have fun last night ? " " Yessss , it was like old times it was a group of us all at Bobbies house and we all ended up spending the night and then went for breakfast in the morning. " " that's good , how's is she ? " " she's good , I just finished seeing her earlier " I signed I hated this so much " I mean she's handling it better than I expected , she still hasn't told anyone so I hate the fact that I'm the only one who knows. She won't let anyone come with her to her appointments she just calls a cab after chemo and goes home to be alone. " " she's strong , she knows the reality of it and doesn't want anyone to treat her like she's sick, I understand. " well I didn't and I didn't wanna talk about it anymore so I changed the subject. " it's me and Lamar's anniversary this weekend , I have something really nice planned in actually excited to spend some alone time with him he's been working so much " " oh snap girl y'all made it this far " we both bursted into laughter. Lunch was almost over so it was time to head back , I took out my phone to give Bobbie a call " Hey girl wassup ? " " Nothing over here at AJs mother house , they came to town so I came to see him and my brother. " " Tell BJ I said hey and give AJ a kiss for me " " Will do , how's work ? " " it's cool , not so busy so even better for me I finished off my rounds so I'll pretty much be in the office doing paper work for the rest of the night. " " Cool have you spoken to Sin today ? " " She text me earlier , I text her back she never responded. " " Yea I called her to see if she wanted to come with me and it went straight to voicemail , I hope she's okay " " she probably fine just all up in Ashley ass " we both laughed. " Okay girl well I just wanted to check on you before I headed back to work , give me a call in the morning " " okay , will do " I had 4 more hours left for work so I figured I finish the rest of my paper work before heading out.
TEE
" Gimme my shit ! " I kept a hold of my bag but Taz wouldn't let it go " Tee you need to fucking relax , you've been drinking so you're not going anywhere until you sober up " " I don't care I said give me my shit ! " I snatched hard and I made her fall , she fell back into the table " I'm sorry Taz " I put my hand out to help her up " Get the fuck away from me , I don't know what's gotten into you but I'm not dealing with this shit this time. I told you once you started this shit again I was out ! " I use to have a drinking problem but I got clean and quit , I started back around 2 months ago but not this heavy. I don't know it was like nothing was going my way for the past 2 months so I started drinking again. Taz always stood by me regardless " Taz please , I'm sorry I said let me help you " She scraped her elbow against the glass so it was bleeding , I went to grab some paper towel to give to her. She snatched it away and got up and sat on the couch. " What's really bothering you Tee ? Like do you wanna lose your job and everything else just cause you slipped up and started drinking again ? " " no " I put my head down " I just was having a bad day... I don't know " " So you going to let every bad day run you to drink ? " " No ! " Taz was right , I couldn't keep doing this. I was perfectly fine the other day I guess seeing Taz at Robins house kinds threw me into panic mode. " Seriously Tee , you were doing so good , don't mess up now " Taz patted me on my back and got up and went to her room. I hated to see her disappointed in me. I got up to go get ready for bed because I was not about to leave the house now my head was pounding. My phone vibrated in my hand , I didn't feel like speaking to anyone. I looked at the screen to see who was calling and it was Robin, Shit ! " Um hello " " Hey Tee , how you feeling ? " " I'm fine just have a bad headache I was just about to go lay down " " did you take anything for it ? " " no not yet , what you up too ? " " Nothing just got home , had a long day at work " " children drive you crazy today ? " " as usual , I love the little nuggets though. " " Aww , my niece is bad isn't she ? " " Haha not really just has a whole lot of character. " I laughed because Brianna sure was a handful " So did you have fun the other night ? " " Yes of ctourse I did , your friends are fun and full of life and so were you Beyoncé " I was laughing thinking about that night " Hush up ! It's just something we always do " " yea I see all of you guys were right on point " I really liked Robin she was so cool and calm and full of personality " Hey you wanna hang out tomorrow? " I asked her " Umm sure , after work I'll go home and change and then you can pick me up " " That's perfect , so I'll see you tomorrow than " " Sure , Goodnight and sleep well hope your headache goes away " " Thanks Hun , Goodnight " I hung up and plopped down on the bed. I figured I didn't wanna go to sleep with Taz mad at me so I got up and went to check on her. I knocked on the door " Taz ? " she didn't respond so I opened the door " Taz can we talk ? " she was on her computer with her headphones in , she didn't even noticed that I came in. I walked over sat on the bed and she pulled one of her headphones out. " Taz can we talk ? I didn't wanna go to sleep and you were mad at me " " I'm not mad Tee I'm disappointed , you're better than that and you know it " I put my head down , I knew Taz was right I gotta do better ! " I'm sorry Taz , you're right I have to do better I'm stronger than this idk what came over me honestly and I don't want you to feel that way like I'm a failure like I came all this way for nothing. I really did it to better myself I said I wanted to be a better me and I will ! I promise you just don't give up on me ... Please ? " Taz stared at me , if she didn't push me I don't know where I would be I would hate to loose Taz over something so stupid. " I would never give up on you because than what kind of person what I be ? I know your capabilities and your strengths and weaknesses , I know how much you're able to overcome and this little minor thing isn't anything but a scratch on the knee that you dust off get up and keep going. You didn't shed blood sweat and tears to let one little chip off the brick tear the house down that you've built. You cannot go backwards Tee , even if I see you stumble back I will be right there behind your ass to push you back forward. I made that promise and I risked my job for it because I saw much more in you than you saw in yourself , so not only did you not come this far ! I didn't come this far for your little bullshit temper tantrums , so get it together Tee and get it together NOW! " I listened to everything Taz said and I heard her loud and clear ! I was gonna get it together before I fell off the wagon. " I love you Taz , thank you " I leaned over and gave her a kiss on her forehead and a hug before getting up and going back in my room to go to bed. It had been a long night so I needed to sleep it off. When I woke up I felt like I was slapped with bricks , my body was soar and my head was pounding ! Dammit this is why I stopped drinking, I looked over at the clock to see what time it was 7:34am , why am I even up ! I didn't have to work and I was happy because I needed to go back to sleep and wake up again and reevaluate my life that's how bad I felt. I could barely move out of the bed but I needed to eat something really fast and take something for this pain. After 20mins of just laying there lifeless I finally manage to pull myself out of the bed. I called out for Taz but she had already left for work , I went to the kitchen to search for something quick to eat. We still had bagels so I figured I'd eat that since it was quick and light , I put it in the toaster and grabbed the cream cheese and jelly out of the fridge and the orange juice. I was pouring the glass when I heard my phone ringing so I put it down and went to grab it. " Hello " " He Tee can you do my a favor ? " " Yea wassup ? " " I left my badge on the kitchen table can you bring it down stairs for me really fast I'm pulling up ? " " Sure I'm coming " I grabbed Taz badge off the table and took my bagels out the toaster I ran down stairs to give it to her she was just pulling up. I went back up stairs to eat. I grabbed my bagel and juice and sat down at the table, Taz had left the news paper so I figured I'd skim through it really fast. I was so tired I finished my food and headed back to bed.
ROBIN
I loved the kids , I swear work made my day. " let's clean up and get ready for snack time " it was almost time for dismissal and the children always had snack before they left. We cleaned up the books and toys and Mrs. Jenkins prepared the snacks. " Lets line up to wash our hands " the kids formed a line so I could take them to the sink to wash their hands " Hey Robin " " Hey Sabrina " Sabrina was another teacher , her class was two doors down from mines. " Snack time ? " " Of course that's the only time they behave " we laughed , after all the kids were washed up we headed back to the class for snack. I pulled out my phone to text Sin to see how work was going. " Hey how's work ? " " It's cool , just finishing up some last minute work and then getting out of here. How's the lovely children lol ? " " they actually behaved today , so it was smooth " " that's a first " " yea , what you got planned for the day ? " " I actually have some errands to run , so I'll probably get as much done as I can and then head to the gym. What about you ? " " after work gonna go home and shower then head out later " " where ? " " I don't know yet , I'm suppose to meet Tee " " Oh boyyyy , Date ? " " maybe .... Maybe not " " well you have fun on your little date and text me later when you get home , maybe I'll stop by unless ol girl plan on spending the night ? " " hmm idk , we'll see what the night has in store " " ... Whatever , later apple head " " later " I put my phone away and started getting the kids ready for dismissal. Omw home I figured I'd stop at the grocery store to pick a few things up. I didn't need much , just few more snacks and something quick to make when I got inside. I finally got home , I put the bags on the table and grabbed my phone to call Tee to see what the plans were. " Hello " " Hey Robin wassup ? " " What are you doing ? " " Making some runs, you ? " " just in the house , what's the plans for tonight ? " " I don't know yet , actually can I get back to you with that things might run a little late for me ? " I frowned , I was kinda looking forward to seeing her " that's fine I guess " " hey , I'll keep you posted okay ?" " fine " I said and hung up. I went back in the kitchen to make something to eat I was starving. After eating I sat on the couch to finish some work ,I had a few papers left to grade and then I wanted to finish reading this book that I had started. I ended up falling asleep on the couch with the book on my chest I didn't know how tired I was, I practically was dreaming about the book in my sleep I was so glued to it. Knock ! Knock ! Knock ! I jumped up from my sleep , I was scared half to death by the loud banging on my door. " WHO ?! " Knock ! Knock ! Knock ! " I said who the fuck is it ?! " I was pissed I looked over at the clock and it was 9:45pm whoever this was , was in for a rude awakening when I opened this door. " I know this better be the goddamn police knocking or my door or whoever you are is about to get cursed the hell out ! " I snatched the door open and in came stumbling and drunk was Sin, I rolled my eyes " Wtf Madison ! You're drunk !? " she could barely stand up or talk for that matter " Robin ... hey girl " she said slurred , she raised her hand up to give me a dap and almost fell face first into the dinning room table, I caught a hold of her before she completely tripped. " Sin wassup with you ? Where are you coming from ? Did you drive like this ? " she started laughing , I just stood there and stared at her blankly because I must have missed the joke or something. " no silly , the cab people drove me over here " she kept laughing , I wanted to slap her ass sober because she was really irritating me and she just got here " Madison Alison Cooper ! If you don't sit your drunk ass down somewhere ! " I was not in the mood to deal with this , not tonight anyways so I went to turn on the living room light " come here baby " she gestured for me to come sit next to her " No ! Is this what you came over here for ? For a drunk fuck ? If so you can call your little cab people and have them take your stupid ass right over to Ashley's house because I'm not a booty call for your drunkin desires " she had some nerves , I was so pissed her at this point, Typical Sin get drunk comes running to Robin to sober up , sex up and lay up " where's your phone because your bitch needs to come get you now before I fuck you up ! " I went over to her and started patting her down in attempt to find her phone , she grabbed my arm and pulled me down and I feel on her " Dammit Madison ! " for her to be drunk she sure had some strength in her " Get off of me ! " I pulled away , I found her phone and unlocked it to search for Ashley's number " Robin no ! " she tried to grab the phone out my hand and I manage to get up before she could and continued searching. As soon as I was about to press call I felt this hard thrust in my back causing me to fall forward onto the ground. " Ughh ! " I fell hard because I banged my elbow trying catch myself " No Bob...ie " Sin was right on my back and I tried to turn to push her off of me but she used her body weight to hold me down , I pinched her and she jumped I tried to crawl from underneath her and she grabbed my leg , " Get off of me Sin ! " I kicked her " Fuck " she got hold of my leg again and bit me " You fucking bitch ! " I tried to sit up to grabbed her but she was to fast. Damn I thought this girl was drunk. She position herself on top of me so I couldn't get up and managed to knock the phone out of my hand " Sin get off of me " " No " she leaned down to kiss me and I bit her lip , when she went to cover her mouth with her hands I pushed her off of me and got up to grab the phone again. No later was Sin on my tail again but I was on my feet now so I made a run for it , this girl snatched my hair so fast my whole head jerked back. I turned around and punched her directly in her face , my neck was hurting but I managed to turn enough to catch her , now that I knew I was gonna have to fight Sins drunk ass to get her to calm down I was prepared , after I punched her I grabbed her by her neck " Sin calm down ! " she kicked me so hard in leg it caused me to cave in and drop to my knee , if I was going down she was coming right along with me so I punched her in her stomach causing her to curl over falling right on top of me. She started coughing so I took this as he opportunity to whip her ass and show her I wasn't having it tonight , I slapped her so hard I heard it echo , I guess she woke up because that girl grabbed me by my neck and snatched the breath right out of me , we tussled back and fourth on the ground until I was able to straddle her " MADISON STOP IT ! " she smiled , this crazy bitch , I thought to myself " I'm not laughing with you ! " she pulled me down so that we were face to face , she reeked of alcohol and with every breath she took it burnt my nose hairs " Ugh you smell like a fucking bar " she blew her breath in my face and I started coughing " Please don't call Ashley , we got into a bad fight... " she turned her head from me. I grabbed her face " What do you mean a fight ? Like you put your hands on that girl ? " she stayed quite. " Madison ! Answer me dammit ! Did you touch that girl ? " she still didn't answer so I slapped her " What the fuck yo ! " she grabbed my hand because she knew another one was coming " Did you hit her Madison ? " " she punched me in my face , I didn't mean to hit her it was just a reaction ! " I stood up " Madison what the fuck yo ! Where is she ? " I was so pissed , last time Sin and Ashley got into a fight Sin came to my house and Ashley wasn't to far behind her because the next thing we knew we heard a loud crash and the car alarm started going off , both of them. Ashley had a crow bar and smashed all of Sins and my car windows , I was so heated I went down stairs and whipped that girls ass up and down my front lawn , Sin and my neighbor literally had to pry my off of that girl and next thing I knew she slashed Sin right across the face with a blade. That little bitch is crazy , I grabbed her crow bar to show that bitch crazy but before I had a chance to hit her I got snatched right up by the police. We all got arrested that night and honestly I don't know why sin went back with that girl. " Madison if that bitch comes over here we all going to jail again but this time I won't be getting out " " relax she ain't doing nothing " " what the fuck Sin ! " I started pacing back and forth thinking about what I was gonna do if she showed up because I was prepared for war so I hopped she was too. Sin got up off the floor and grabbed my arm " Bobbie chill out and let me tell you what happened " I snatched away " Get he fuck of of me ! Madison I'm tired of this shit ! If I get arrested you can't save me this time ! If I loose my job Ima be whipping both of y'all asses until I get a new job ! " She started laughing and not once did I find any of this funny " Relax , can I just explain ? " I folded my arms across my chest and stood there waiting for her explanation. Sin likes to lie or at least make it seem like she was the innocent one in the situation " We got into an argument because I was drinking , she started yelling I told her to stop yelling because I had a headache , she threw the remote at me and it hit me in my head so when I got up to go after her before I could do anything she punched me in my face and I naturally reacted " she shrugged her shoulders like everything was perfectly fine , her phone started ringing she looked over and she ignored it " Answer the phone , it's probably her " " I'm not talking to her , I have nothing to say to her " I was beginning to get more upset then I already was. Once her phone stopped ringing it started ringing again " Answer the damn phone Sin , because I swear to god if that girl comes over here she's in for a rude awakening " I stared at her , " fine , fine ! " she reached for the phone and answered it " What ? " I could hear Ashley practically screaming through the phone " Bitch you think this is over ? I know you over there with Robin ! That's where the fuck you better stay , with that bitch ! You think every time you get drunk you can just come over here and say whatever you wanna say out your mouth ? You love that bitch that much ? " now I knew one thing was for sure , she had one more time to call me a bitch before I snatched that phone from Sin and found her and whipped her ass ! " man listen stop calling my phone ! We done that's it ! You not gone learn to stop putting your hands on me until I knock your ass clean out ! " " Fuck you Madison and Fuck that Bi " I snatched the phone right out of her hand " Listen Ashley I don't know what the fuck you and Sin got going on but I'm going to need you to stop calling me out of my name , now I was being kind and respectful and not said anything but you have one more time to call me out my name and Sin won't be the only one knocking your ass out ! " " Bitch fuck you and fuck that bitch ! You can have her trifling ass ! " " Bit.. " before I could finish my sentence Sin snatched the phone from me pressed end and tossed it across the room " We not about to do this with her " " No Madison I'm not about to do this with y'all ! I don't know what you got going on but not in my house and not tonight ! " I was over this night over Sin and over Ashley punk ass for that matter and I just wanted Sin to go. " Listen you need to sober up and get going because I can't do this tonight seriously Sin " she just looked at me " So you putting me out ? " I stood there " I'm not putting you out , I'm just saying I'm really not in the mood for this tonight " " so I gotta go ? Yes or no ? " I huffed and stormed off " Sleep in the other fucking room Madison ! " I slammed my door and sat down on my bed. I really wish Tee didn't cancel plans because I wouldn't have been home to deal with this shit. I grabbed my phone to call her , it rang and rang and went to voice mail. I guess she was busy and I wasn't about to leave a message or blow her phone up so I called Lee instead. " Hey girl " " Hey Lee , what you doing ? " " waiting for Lamar to get off so we could go out to eat , wassup with you you sound stressed ? " " Girl Sin done brought her drunk ass over here , we got into a fight and then I had to curse Ashley ass out because she kept calling me a bitch over the phone , I'm so tired of Sin and her mess ! " " Damn y'all had a fight ? For what ? " " because I was tryna call Ashley to tell her to come her her drunk ass girlfriend off my couch and Sin wanted to fight over the phone so we had a fight " " Damn girl I thought you was going out with Tee tonight ? " " I though I was too " I frowned , I really wanted to see her tonight " She canceled she had some things to do " " that's crazy , hey listen Lamar just came in , I'll call you back when I get in the house. Don't let Sin stress you out tonight " " Alright girl , later " " Later baby " I hung up , now what was I about to do , I was stuck in the house with Sins drunk ass waiting for her to sober up or fall asleep because if I tried to leave that would be another fight that I didn't have the energy for. Knock knock ! " Can I come in please ? " I rolled my eyes " What Sin ? " " Can I just come in and talk ? " I really didn't feel like talking I just wanted to go to bed. She opened the door " I brought you a glass of wine " she smiled , she knew me so well and I hated her for it " I know every time you get upset this is the only way to calm you do so this is my peace offering " she held the glass out like she was scared to take any step closer " gimme " I took it " can I sit down ? Or do I have to stand and explain myself " I looked at her and then rolled my eyes " Sit down Madison " she sat down and there was silence. I sipped from the glass and rocked my feet back and fourth waiting for her to talk " umm hello ? " she looked down at the floor. " I'm sorry " she whispered " Excuse me ? I didn't hear you and why are you talking to the ground ? If you wanted to talk to the floor you could have stayed in the living room " she kept looking down, i didn't know what was up with her besides the fact that she'd been drinking. " I said I'm sorry , I didn't mean to come over with my shit ..... It's just that I had to see you and I didn't know if you was out with that girl or not so I took the chances of coming over. " " Madison is this why you were Ashley were fighting ? Over this stupid crush you still have on me ? Come on Sin " she didn't take her eyes off the ground like she was hiding something " it's not that .... " she stopped " So what is it then ? " she didn't say anything and I was getting irritated " Madison if you wanna talk talk ! You're not a kid ! " " listen Robin I love you , forreal like I fell back in love with you and me and Ashley been fighting for a while because she knows this. The other night we were over here she didn't even wanna come because she knew I only came over here to watch you with that girl she just agreed to come if I'd spend the night with her. " I wasn't surprised , Sin has her way of getting her way but Ashley's dumb for participating in Sins little missions and then getting mad when she talk about me, they're so disfunctional " Okay ? That's nothing new Madison we already had this discussion " " It's not that Bobbie , I need you back in my life like now more than ever and I don't want to loose you to anyone else I just want us to work " she lifted her head up and her eyes were watery , i don't know if this was the alcohol or what but it was very rare that Sin ever cried or got this emotional as many times as we've had this discussion it would be just that, a discussion and nothing more so I knew something was up. I reached out and grabbed her hand " What the matter Sin ? " she whipped her face. " I'm just saying we were together for 5 years Bobbie , 5 years and I know I messed up but I wouldn't wanna do it again with anyone else but you, I know we had this conversation plenty of times before but I really need you to understand how I feel about you , about us " She started crying and I didn't know what to do " Madison I know that you love me , but I don't know if I wanna go down that road again. I love you so much and I'm still in love with you but I don't know if I wanna hurt again. I can't keep falling back into this , I can't keep running back to you every time you act like you wanna get it together and make it work because where does that leave me ? With a broken heart and damaged goods for the next girls who tries to love me and I can't love her back because I'm too busy trying to repairs myself once again. Things stop working permanently after so many tries of fixing it. " I instantly became emotional thinking about everything I've been through with Madison , Would I be weak to take her back , to forgive her for everything she's done ? What is forgiveness ? Is it a temporary pass for you to become comfortable with hurting me again even more? Is it just something we say just so you can redo the pain you cause times ten ? " but you're not damaged goods Robin , I never appreciated you and I know that but if you give us this last chance this last time I promise you I'll show you that this is worth it , that we can fix this , that I've changed. " I honestly didn't know what to say , my head was all over the place and it was all just a little too much for me at the moment. I became teary eyed " Please don't cry Robin , I'm sorry I don't mean to put all this pressure on you now. I just can't stand seeing you with that girl , I can't stand the thought that there may be something between y'all , that something could become of y'all " I whipped my eyes " is that what it is Sin ? Because I have someone in my life you have this sudden erge to confess your love for me ? Tuh ! You're so typical ! " I laughed and grabbed my cup from the night stand , I couldn't believe her right now , just because all of a sudden someone's around , she can't stand the thought of it ! Did she think that that's how I felt when she had someone. I became so angry thinking about it , I drank more from the cup ; got up and walked out the room to retrieve the bottle to pour another glass because this one glass wasn't gonna put me at ease. I grabbed the bottle off the counter and poured another glass, Sin came out the room still barely able to walk straight I just ignored her like she wasn't even there and sat down at the kitchen table. " Robin that's not it , that's not what I mean " as far as I was concerned everything Sin was saying was going in one ear and out the other. Why does she even bother to continue this " it has nothing to do with her ! Before she was even around I still felt this way I still told you this " I wish she'd shut up because I was over it long time ago. I got up and turned the radio on to try and tune her out , I knew it was rude but I didn't care and I just needed the music to calm my mind. I walked back over to the table and Sin grabbed my hand. " Robin please listen to me " I snatched away " Madison Fuck you ! I'm tired of this , you're restricting me from moving on because I allow you to be in my life as my friend and you can't even do that fucking right ! " I could tell Sin was becoming agitated but I didn't care , the wine gave me a little buzz so I laughed at her , but a part of me was hurt still. " Madison enough with this conversation please , you're giving me a headache " I sat back down at the kitchen table. I lifted the glass up to my lips and she snatched it clean out of my hand. " Listen to me ! " I got up and drew my hand back and smacked her. Everything got quite , even thought the music was playing in the background it was as if everything had stopped at the moment , like time stopped , the world stopped and everything froze. I instantly started crying I was overwhelmed with emotions and I had absolutely no control over it , even if I tried to stop I just couldn't. Sin moved closer to me to comfort me even though I just slapped my hand print into her face , " Please don't cry Bobbie " her saying that just made me cry more. I started pulling away from her and pushing her I just wanted to be left alone " Get off of me ! " I pushed her and pulled my arms from her but she wouldn't let me go " Bobbie Stop ! " I was able to get one hand loose from her and started swinging , I just wanted her to let me go. I swung and hit her then swung again and hit her again no matter how many times I hit her she wouldn't give up. " I Said stop Bobbie ! " she took my arm that she had and twisted it around so that it made me spin back towards her she used her other arm to wrap it around me when I was close enough, so I started kicking and screaming and crying " Let me go , get off of me Madison " she wants giving up but it was hard to manage me being that she was still a little drunk so we fell to the floor but she didn't break her hold. " Bobbie please " I didn't have enough fight in me so I just put my head down and started crying harder , because I lost the fight and I didn't know what else to do because she just wasn't letting go " I hate you , I fucking hate you " " No you don't , you're just upset I'm sorry " " I wish you would just leave me alone forever " I couldn't stop crying but I was kinda happy she was there to comfort me. " Shhh " she whipped my face and rocked me back and fourth " Relax baby " I don't know where all of these emotions came from but it just took over me and I just gave up , I relaxed and just layed my head back on her and allowed her to console me. I couldn't help how I felt about her but I was so afraid to do it again. " I wouldn't fight so hard for you if I didn't really need this , I've been fighting for you before we were together and after we broke up. I'm woman enough to admit my mistakes and I'm also woman enough to grow up and change. I wanna change because I'm ready not because I'm being forced to , if anything ever happened to me I want you to be the last one I spend my final hours with , I want you to be my last laugh , my last cry , my last fight and my last love. " a tear drop fell on my arm , Something about this moment just made everything seem right. " I'm just asking you to really think about it , before you fall for someone else just give your heart a chance to fall back in love with me. " she kissed me on my forehead and motioned for me to stand up, I continued to be silent. She took my hand and lead my too my room. " Sit down " I did exactly as she said , she kneeled down in front of me and whipped my face and kissed me on my cheek. " May I ? " she asked and I had no clue as to why she was asking but I was so caught in the moment I just nodded my head yes, she got up off the floor and walked to the dressed and opened it. She started taking clothes out , my clothes ; pajamas and then opened the draw she had he clothes in and took her stuff out. " I be right back , don't move " she walked out and I heard her flick the light on in the bathroom and turn the shower on, she came back in the room and grabbed my hands for me to stand up. She motioned for me to lift my arms so I did , she pulled my shirt over my head until it was fully off, she then slid my sweat pants and underwear down all in one motion. She grabbed my hand and we walked to the bathroom. " Get in " I stepped in to the shower and she pushed the shower curtain back. I stood there for a minute before I adjusted to the warm water falling down my body , it felt as though it was washing everything bad away that has happened. When she pulled the curtain back she stepped into the shower with me. " Nothing's gonna happen that you don't want to happen okay ? " I nodded but at this moment I didn't care what happened I just wanted her to be there with me. " What about Ashley ? " " She doesn't matter Robin , I meant that when I said that I would drop her and any other girl for you with out a second thought. " " Are you positive Madison ? Are you sure this is what you want and it isn't just a in the moment thing ? " " Does this feel like a in the moment thing ? " she asked and I didn't respond I just grabbed her face and kissed her , I kissed her like I missed her more than anything in the world , I kissed her like this was the last time I would ever get to kiss her , I kissed her like this was our first kiss and I hand to make it count and with every motion I felt my stomach turning, I wanted Sin bad at that moment and I didn't wanna think about anything else because nothing else mattered. She pressed me up against the wall and took control of the kiss, she kissed me hard and passionately all at the same time. Every inch of my body needed her , i took my hands and ran it through her hair it had gotten wet from the water and it was so silky in between my fingers. I took one my legs and wrapped it around her I needed her to know how bad I wanted her , she used her hands to explore my body she ran her hand up my leg and it was like she was doing everything in slow motion , she started kissing my neck which caused me to throw my head back and let out a low moan. I felt her hands slide up my inner thigh , when she touched me it was the softest touch ever , she used her finger to rub my clit in a circular motion I arched my back against the wall. The steam from the shower was making me more hot and more turned on , you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between the shower and my juices flowing. She slowly slid her finger inside of me and it cause me to flinch , with every stroke of her finger I moved my hips to follow her rhythm. She could sense my want for her because just like that she slid her fingers out of me and brought it to my mouth for me to taste, she slid her finger in my mouth slowly and I took it and licked every bit of it off , she came in and kissed me and it was like she stole the breath from right out of me. Everything about this moment was everything I needed. She leaned down and turned the shower off " Let's go in the room " she stepped out first and grabbed her towel and then grabbed mines and wrapped it around me. We went to the bed room and I was about to sit down and she told me to stand " Let me dry you off " she took my towel off of me and gently whipped every inch of my body dry , from my head to my toes and the proceeded to dry her self. She laid me on my bed and climbed on top of me " let me make love to you , let me make you feel good " she kissed me " let me show you how I feel , not just sexually , emotionally , physically, mentally " she kissed me again " I love you Sin " " I love you Robin " she started kissing my neck again , I ran my hands up and down her back she went from my neck to my breast , she used her tongue in a circular motion around my nipple then flicked it. She took one breast in her mouth and used her other hand to play with the other. She made her way to my stomach and slowly placed little kisses on it , she kissed my hip and I moved, it caused a little tingle in my body and she chuckled , she did it again " Sin ! " I whined , she looked up at me and smiled. She kissed my inner thigh and it cause me to become more moist than I already was , I'm pretty sure I wet the bed that's how horny I was " ummm " she said as she spread my legs apart " before I started ? " she asked as she had seen my wetness before I could respond I felt her tongue practically swallow me whole , she licked it up all in one motion as if she didn't wanna forget a drop of me. " Uhh..." She ran her tongue up and down my clit , she kissed it softly and used her fingers to open my lips to allow her more access to my pearl. With every lick she cause me to arch more , I grabbed her head and grinned against her face I felt myself on the verge of cumming and I didn't want her to stop " Sin ... I'm ... I'm cumming ... " I was out of breath but it felt so good I just wanted this moment to last forever " cum for me " she said in between licks , she did this thing with her tongue that caused me to instantly cum , my legs were shaking but Sin refused to stop , it's like it mad her hungry for more because once she felt me cumming she went harder , I wrapped my legs around her head and practically shove my pussy in her face. " SIN ! Please .... Don't stop " I needed her , I wanted her. Within seconds I was cumming again and now I wanted to taste her , when sin was in control there was no switching positions. " come here baby " I told her , she lifted her head from in between my legs and raised her eye brows " I'm not done " she said " just come here for a second " she got up and came face to face with me , I gave her a kiss and she pressed her body against mines. Me and Sin had sex plenty of times before but this time it was different , this time I felt something different it was totally silent in the room but every breath , moan , heart beat I heard everything , I felt everything. " lay down " I told her , she climbed off of me and laid next to me I turned over so that I was on my side facing her , I just wanted to look at her and take in the moment. She was so gorgeous , this beautiful woman that I fell in love with ; I moved her hair out of her face and lightly ran my hand down her cheek. It's not that I wanted all the bad things to go away its that I wanted all the good things to last forever , it's that , that in this moment I notice she had changed at least I could look in her eyes and see how bad she meant everything she said , it was that in this moment right here I could look in her eyes and see that the love still exist and I could see how deep it was and if she never said another word I could always look in her eyes and see this. I kissed her and climbed on top of her. I wanted to taste her , i needed to taste her ; my mouth watered at the thought of her sweetness in my mouth. I kissed her stomach she had been hitting the gym hard so she worked up and nice 6 pack I traced her v line with my tongue I wanted to tease her a bit before I dove in. Sin was super sensitive so every little thing turned her on , I pushed her legs open I could see she was freshly shaved, she always kept it clean with just a little patch of hair at the top which I never understood. She was soaking wet and it turned me on " What you waiting for ? " she said with a smirk on her face " no rush baby , we have all night " I winked at her and went back to my business. I slowly ran my tongue over her clit and then stopped , I did it again but this time I put my mouth on her and kissed her. She tasted so sweet , I wanted to savor the moment I kept teasing her with my tongue , licking and stopping , kissing and stopping , I took my fingers and opened her lips for more access and I circled her clit with my tongue , I sucked on it lightly I wanted her to beg for it. She let out a deep moan and it made me more wet , I positioned myself in between her legs so that I could touch myself, it turned me on so much to satisfy her. I practically lost myself in between her legs , I licked as sucked and teased her non stop I felt her legs shaking but that didn't disturb me one bit I continued soaking up every bit of her " Robin! ... Uhh stop please I'm cumming " her begging me to stop made me keep going I wanted to snatch the soul right out of her. She tried to push my head away but I gripped her legs so she wouldn't move " Uhhhhh " that was it Sin couldn't take no more she came so hard she let out a loud scream and her legs began to shake uncontrollably , I cleaned her up and placed a light kiss on her lips then climbed on top of her. " You okay ? " I chuckled because she was so busy trying to catch her breath she could barely answer me " Real cute " she said and kissed me " are you spending the night or are you leaving ? " " are you seriously asking me that " she looked at me like I was stupid " I mean I could go if that's what you want .... " I didn't mean to make her feel a way but I just know how Sin can get sometimes " I'm sorry , I didn't mean it " " it's cool , if you need space I'll sleep in the other room " she was about to get up but I grabbed her arm " no you can sleep in here " she smiled and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. " Don't you miss this ? " I closed my eyes and thought about everything me and Sin has been through and I couldn't lie I did miss this , Sin has a good heart and she was a good girlfriend until things took a left but she always made me feel secure and special and I loved her for that and right now that's exactly how I felt " of course I miss this " I didn't realize how hungry I was " Do you want something to eat ? " I asked her " Yea , but I'll make something you stay in bed " " oh yea ? You're cooking ? " " Come on now don't even try to play me like that " she pushed me and hopped out the bed and slipped her T-shirt on and boxers. " Hurry up , I'm starving ! " I whined. She left and I got comfortable in bed and grabbed the remote to flick through the channels. I found something to watch on lifetime, I grabbed my phone to check it I had a miss call from Tee and Lea had texted me. I shot Lea back a text and decided to text Tee also " Hey wassup ? I missed your call " " Hey Robin , sorry about tonight I got caught up you're not upset with me ? 😕 " I was still a little mad with Tee for standing me up but it was okay I could give her another chance. " it's okay , but you have to make up big time " " Lol that's cool I gottchu can we meet up tomorrow ? If you're free " I thought about if I was actually gonna be free seeing as how Sin was here " I'll let you know when I get free tomorrow and we can go from there " " Okay cool , goodnight " " Goodnight love " I put my phone down and tried to catch up on what I missed in the movie. It was 2am and I was tired as hell , Sin was almost done cooking and I was ready to eat and pass out. Her phone started ringing so I reached over and got it. A unsaved number appeared on the screen , so I just put it down and let it ring out. I figured whoever it was must have the wrong number at 2 in the morning but then it started ringing again and it was the same number so I decided to answer it " Hello " " Hi may I speak to Madison please ? " a soft spoken woman on the other end of the phone asked. " Sure , may I ask who's speaking ? " " It's Jessica " " Okay Jessica give me a minute okay ? " " Sure " I climbed out the bed a walked to the kitchen to give Sin her phone. I tapped her on the butt and when she turned around I extended her phone to her. She mouthed " Who's that ? " " Jessica " I said loud enough to make sure she could hear me on the phone, Sin took the phone " Hey Jess wassup ? " I walked off and sat at the table I wanted to ease drop a little so I made sure I was close enough to hear her conversation but didn't want her to notice " Yea , I got caught up I meant to text you and let you know but I got distracted " distracted ? I raised my eye brows , tuh ! Last time I checked she brought her drunk ass over here , I got up to get a glass of water and slammed the cabinet because I was a little upset and I wanted her to know. She screwed her face up at me and I smiled and sat back down at the table. " It's cool , if you want we can meet tomorrow or when ever you're free again " the nerve of Sin to be on the phone at 2 in the morning with some girl after we just got finished having sex and here she is in my kitchen cooking , she was definitely gonna hear my mouth when she got off the phone. " Okay , goodnight I'll text you in the morning " she hung up and placed the phone down on the counter. I just stared at her waiting for her to say something " What ? " she said with a smile on her face " It's not even what you thinking right now " she turned back around to make our plates " Whatever " I said and finished my water. She sat at the table and placed my food in front of me. " So you not gonna ask who that was ? " I lifted my head and looked at her and shook my head no. " Cool " she shrugged her shoulders and continued eating. We ate in silence , I actually wanted to no who it was but I figured I'd ask once we got in bed. We finished out food and I took the plates and went to the sink to wash them. Sin came behind me and slapped me on the butt. " I'm going to lay down , bring me a snack when you come in the room please. " she walked away and I finished the dishes and grabbed her some fruit out the fridge. When I got back in the room I climbed in the bed and handed her her fruit and laid down to prepare myself to go to sleep. Sin flicked through the channels " So you giving me the silent treatment? " " No " I said and turned over " Jessica is my co-worker , we were suppose to meet up today cause I was introducing her to my homeboy , she's not even gay " anybody is gay when it comes to you , I thought " That's cool " she sighed and then laid behind me, she moves in closer and started kissing me face " cut it out you little brat , I don't know why she called so late. Maybe she was worried last I spoke to her I was drunk " " I said okay Madison , you don't have to explain yourself " I could hear her suck her teeth , I was being a total brat but I didn't care. " Gimme kiss " she said " No , go to bed " " Girl gimme a damn kiss " I turned over and kissed her. " you are really something else " she said and laughed " Goodnight " " Goodnight " we went to bed.