Always the Bride

11. Mixed emotions

^^Dedicated to @worldgirlalways for the amazing cover. Picture to the side (in case it changes in the future).

I continue to watch them as they reach the car. The lights flash as someone presses the button to unlock the doors. Marcus goes around to the drivers’ side while she sits in the passenger side. Once the door closes, the interior light stays on for a few seconds. I watch as he says something that makes her laugh. As he leans in to kiss her, the light switches off.

Not long after they drive away but I sit staring at the spot where the car was for what feels like hours. Seeing Marcus with her has left me feeling deflated. When she came into the office she looked like a typical girl he would hook up with just for a bit of fun. But now, seeing her pregnant has torn me to shreds.

Is that what he wanted the whole time? Children? When we were dating we talked about that stuff. We agreed we would have kids...after we were married. He was all for it. But did I miss something? Did he want them that badly he had to go searching for someone else? Or was it as simple as he got bored of me? He said it was sex he was after but seeing the two of them has got me thinking it wasn’t just that.

Finally gathering enough strength to move, I belt up, turn the lights on and drive away. It’s time to go home. To Gregory.

 ***

On the way back I get an overwhelming feeling to hold my husband. Even if I don’t love Gregory, he’s proven to be an amazing man. I try not to feel guilty for how I acted after our wedding but it’s always there, niggling at the back of my mind. The poor guy has dedicated himself to me with no benefits whatsoever.

And it’s that reason alone that I owe him something. I don’t know what yet but I can’t keep doing this to him.

Stopping the car out the front of the house, I turn off the lights then take off my disguise. I should have done it earlier but my mind was preoccupied. I shove them in a bag then hide them in the rear footwell behind my seat. Before stepping out of the car I check the time on the dashboard. It’s only 10pm but it feels so much later.

Opening the door, I step out but the moment my feet touch the bitumen and I stand up straight, I collapse against the car. I am totally zapped of energy. Emotional breakdowns are not my friend. Thoughts of Marcus are still running through my mind and every time I picture those two together my heart breaks all over again.

That should have been me.

Taking a deep breath I finally gather enough strength to stand up and walk to the door. The moment I open it I stare into pitch blackness. Switching on the hall light, I drop my things on the cupboard by the door, kick off my shoes then wander in to the kitchen. My stomach rumbles reminding me I haven’t eaten since lunch.

Before eating though, I go and check on Gregory. I find him in our room only to find him sleeping peacefully. Well when I say peacefully, he’s snoring away happily but he’s peaceful so I suppose it’s the same thing. As I look at him I can’t help but smile. For all his flaws and bad looks, he is such a nice guy. I could have done much worse for a marriage mistake.

As if sensing my presence, Gregory makes a weird gurgling noise followed by a couple of snorts then he sits up in bed with his eyes half shut. Looking across at me his face crinkles up as he smiles.

“Teresa, you’re home,” he says groggily. “What time is it?”

“Just after ten,” I reply sitting on the bed next to him. “You’re in bed early.”

Gregory sits up, reaches for his glasses on the bedside cupboard and puts them on. It’s a shame he has to wear them, he actually looks better without them.