I opened the door for you, watching you step out of my rusty car. I remember how you wore those sweatpants with a loose Metallica shirt. You weren't cold... yet.
We climbed up the rocks, I knew exactly where I was going. I kept telling you to be patient and I loved the feeling to listen you groan cause you couldn't wait.
That unusual night was the best thing I've ever experienced with you. I guess for you it was the break up.
When we finally got to our destination, you were breathless. I set up our picnic place while admiring your reactions.
We started with the dessert, brownies. Even if we had dated for only 3 weeks, I knew every little thing that you loved. It made me feel somewhat accomplished but also ashamed and a little nosy.
The sun had set, we were finishing up our last sandwiches. It's like time had stopped. We didn't constantly have to be on a conversation, we both felt comfortable having our own thoughts not said out loud. What were you thinking back then though?
Full moon, no clouds. Just as planned. I had given you my leather jacket. Cliquè but damn you were adorable with that. We cuddled under the stars, having deep and silly conversations.
I remember how you shared your memories with me. How you told about the story of you and your grandma observing trains. Just looking at them like they were miracles. That was when you were six, maybe seven, but I was twenty and looking at you as a miracle.
I remember how we discussed about death. You said that whatever anybody believes in what after death comes, it will happen. How you constantly thought I wasn't getting it so you repeated yourself with adding examples here and there. You made me think differently. At that time, I loved it. Now it's a curse.
You passed out while I was talking about that akward moment we had when we both met for the first time. I spilt my drink on you but you only giggled. When I realized that you had fallen asleep, I stopped talking. I laid there for a good hour before closing my eyes.
I wish I could feel as right as then again. You were my bright pink in this whole dark blue mess. Now you have faded into that.
I want you back but that's impossible after what I had done to you.
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Now whenever I start Jet Black Heart, I think of you.
