We got to see each other, face-to-face. Well, not physically, but we video chatted for 55 minutes the first time. The second time was only 30 minutes. Either was its better than those late night text convo's where I"m stuck wondering if you're smiling at the phone or frowning when it shows a text message.
* * *
"I love you."
"I miss you."
Two things that I only got to say to you once throughout our whole conversation. I guess I shouldn't have expected much, considering your brother was in the room. But I feel like even if he wasn't that you would wait until the last second to say anything. Like you always do. Don't worry though, I love you either way.
I love you enough to try and keep in contact with you even though you're thousands of miles away. Even though while you smile and tell me about all the hot girls I still can't get the image of us kissing at the park out of my head. I can't forget that when you saw why I wore a jacket you kissed every bit of my arms and hands. I can still remember when you told me to walk with confidence the day I chose not to wear a jacket to school. I can remember when you saw me run into the girls bathroom to cry and you stayed by the stairs with chocolate bars until I came out.
I remember every single detail of every single thing you did for me. I just don't thin you remember anything that I did for you.
I made sure that, even when you stopped talking to me, that you were okay. I stuck around for a while year even when you didn't want me to. I told you things I've never told anyone elese. I was fully truthful with you. I basically sold you my heart, but waited till you could fully accept it.
All you seem to remember is that I didn't say 'yes' when you asked me out in health class. I dated "everyone" else but you. I "never" really liked you. That everyone said I was never going to date you, or that I wasn't interested. Oh, and my favorite rumor was, "She is a whore and is just leading you on."
Now that you're reading this do you think I was, or still am, leading you on?
Well, I'm not.
If I was all these love letters wouldn't have been written. All my love wouldn't be gone with you. And my heart wouldn't be aching for you to come back. And worst of all I wouldn't be crying and screaming for you to be mine.
-Remember me the once loved ; )
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of the Once Loved
Non-Fiction"Even in the light my dark mind will always surround you, because you saved me from myself. Because even while everyone else was too busy with their own lives you were there every step of the way not knowing what I was feeling. Not knowing what I wa...
