I'm thinking again, except this time I know why.
You.
We texted again and what you called me has me thinking. It's surprising and at the same time comforting.
You called me your girlfriend. The word so familiar in my mind but foreign to my ears.
I couldn't help but let you keep calling me that. I was too afraid you would stop talking to me if I told you to stop.
It made me think though. If you felt like calling me your girlfriend now why didn't you feel like it then?Why didn't you make me your girlfriend before I left? Was I not worth it? Or were you still listening to the rumors? Or maybe, just maybe, you had finally lost interest in me. You probably got bored of me since I told you that I was all yours and no one else's.
That for the first time since you started liking me, you just lost every ounce of curiosity for me.
I guess you lost me.
Or,
You won my love just to give it all up.
Then again you always say long distance sucks and that its not even an option. It wasn't even an option.
I wanted it to be one. I wanted it so badly.
But you said it's just going to hurt us both.
I once said that too. Thing was, I wasn't in love with the person.
I'm in love with you. And you said you're in love with em. Are you still? Probably not.
It's okay though. I knew it would only last so long.
Even so, I'm still stuck on the though of long-distance. Even while it's not a option for you, to me it was my favorite one. To me it was basically like saving and keeping you to myself.
Like no one else could have you, but me. No one else could get to call you their boyfriend, or even get to tell you that they love you.
So then no one else could replace me.
I guess I never thought about how different i would be when you told me 'no'.
I didn't even care to think that you would say 'no' like it was the easiest thing in the world.
It probably was for you.
For me though, I died inside.
I cried almost every night for two weeks, but still texted you like everything was alright.
It wasn't.
It still isn't.
-Remember me the once loved ; )
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of the Once Loved
Non-Fiction"Even in the light my dark mind will always surround you, because you saved me from myself. Because even while everyone else was too busy with their own lives you were there every step of the way not knowing what I was feeling. Not knowing what I wa...
