New year, new me.
Not even close to true.
Yes, physically I'm different. My hair is cut in layers, and my face has matured. My lips are usually covered in a nude lipstick and my eyelashes are curled along with my eyebrows being done to my perfection. My clothing is way more different than how it used to be. I wear skirts and dresses now. Crop-tops and high heels became my best friends. And jackets? Well those I put them in an old bag and hid them in the far corner of my closet. But I still feel the same.
I still miss you. I still even love you. I couldn't change that, sadly. I couldn't even make it fade a bit. Those feelings I said I would bottle away stayed the same as they were 6 months ago. I still wake up at 2 in the morning and feel those same tears flow free from my eyes. I still can hear myself whimper every time I look at our old texts. And when I look at my old clothes I grab them and hold them close to my chest while I think of all I went through while wearing them. I stare at myself in the mirror and see a horrid, beat down, crybaby. All because you left me here missing you. All because you left me alone.
I loved you and you left me here to cry myself to sleep, and when I had those bad days I came home to a phone filled with texts from everyone but you. I came home to silence that filled my head while I fought to keep it out. All the silence that you at one point helped me keep out. But I'm alone now. No one is here to help me keep it out anymore. No one can help me through the pain that fills me at school, because you moved on and I moved away. I moved, and I guess that's what made it so simple for you to forget that we were something. That we had the strongest feelings we could've ever had for each other. Or at least that's how I saw it, apparently you didn't feel that. You didn't feel the "connection" anymore, I guess. You moved on.
I hate your guts. But I'm still gonna love you for a while even when I don't want to.
-Remember me the once loved ; )
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of the Once Loved
Nonfiksi"Even in the light my dark mind will always surround you, because you saved me from myself. Because even while everyone else was too busy with their own lives you were there every step of the way not knowing what I was feeling. Not knowing what I wa...
