BBC Sherlock Imagines (Book 2)

Sherlock: The Birds and the Bees

Enjoy the picture

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"Daddy, how are babies made?"

It was the question that had sent you spitting out tea all over Sherlock and had left his jaw hanging open, allowing your spit out tea to land right in his mouth. Johanna had started laughing uncontrollably, thinking it the funniest thing in the world, while you two sat there, stone silent and scared out of your minds.

She hopped off the chair at the table, her adolescent mind not picking up on your and Sherlock's odd behavior, and stretched her arm to set her empty snack bowl down in the sink, then skipped away to her bedroom to do whatever five year old girls do (which according to Sherlock, involves malicious practice of the puppy dog eyes and the pouty lip).

However, you and Sherlock still sat there in silence staring at each other. You were the first to break the quietness, finally noticing your spit out tea dripping off Sherlock's chin. You grabbed your napkin and stood up to wipe it off him. Once he seemed clean, you closed his mouth, and that's when he finally showed signs of life.

He locked eyes with you, a wild look in them. "How could we have planned to answer her questions about atoms, and why the sky is blue, and murder, but missed planning the answer for this?" he asked.

"There's really know way we could plan an answer for this question," you replied reassuringly.

"That's what you said about atoms, but look where we got."

"Okay now is not the time for your sass. Now is the time to figure how to tell our five year old daughter about..."

You stopped talking when you heard little feet pattering swiftly down the hall towards you two. Sherlock looked at you with an alarmed look on his face, and you knew that you two were thinking the same thing:

What if she asks again?

She sped into the kitchen and slid across the floor on her socks, over to where you guys sat. "Mummy, are you going to have another baby?" she asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

Sherlock looked like he was about to dart out of his seat, but you gave him a look that made him sit right back down. You cleared your throat, putting on a fake cheery voice. "Why do you ask sweet pea?"

"Because Tommy's mum is having another baby. He said that her stomach is getting bigger, but how did the baby get in there in the first place?" She had a very curious look in her eye, much like the one Sherlock got when he was buzzing through his mindpalace briefly.

"I'm going to start on dinner," muttered Sherlock, rushing from the table to the counter. You shook your head - the man didn't even know how to boil an egg for christ sake, it would be interesting to watch him "start on dinner".

"What's for dinner daddy?" asked Johanna.

"Yeah, what is for dinner daddy?" you asked with an evil smirk. No way was he getting out of this that easily.

"Babies-I mean barley," he stuttered.

"We're having grain for dinner?" you asked, trying not to laugh.

"I like it better when mum cooks," said Johanna, twirling her hair around her finger.

You got up from the chair and walked to Sherlock, pushing him to sit back down at the table so he could answer your daughter's baby making questions instead of you. Payback sucker. "Me too," you chuckled in agreement.

You grabbed some ingredients from out of the fridge and began cutting up some chicken to cook when you heard Johanna ask another question. "So was I in mummy's tummy too?"

You waited patiently for Sherlock's answer. "Uh, well, yes I suppose so."

"How did I get in there?"

"You were already in her, technically."

"Tommy said babies, when they're really small, get fertilized like plants get fertilized."

"Well I can promise you that there wasn't cow manure stuffed into your mum to fertilize you. You were fertilized by something else."

"What was it?"

You turned around, trying not to look at Sherlock's wide eyes as he scrambled to think of an answer. "Uh. Um. Uh."

"You were fertilized by daddy," you butted in.

Johanna gave you an odd look. "So daddy pooped in you?"

You tried not to laugh as Sherlock let his head fall face down onto the table in defeat. This was going to be a long night.

A/N

So yeah I'm still here in case you all were wondering. It's just been crazy since classes have been going on. Feels like I've been here ages lol, but I like it (for the most part). I'm hoping that once stuff settles down and I can get a routine going that I can start getting back into updating more often! This took me about seven different sessions to get done haha

And I know it sucks but I have writer's block because I'm super overwhelmed and overstimulated by the amount of people and all the activities and yeah. I hope to update soon but I want it to be high quality so idk when that will be, but hang on tight!

Anywho

#sherpression got me screwed up right now

Random: Least favorite time of the year?

"Don't judge a person by their Hogwart's house."
- Me