Im Not Loved (1D) *ON HOLD*

Im So Sorry...

NIALL'S POV

I fucked up. Bad. If it wasn't for me drinking that night, I would be holding Kali in my arms right now. We would be snuggling. Smiling. Then reality hit me. It pissed me off. I got up from my bed and walked over to a wall. Glaring at the wall, I heard Lou come around. He knew what I was gonna do. "Niall don't you fucking dare." he said, firmly. I ignored his command and did it. I punched the wall. Great. A new bruise for my knuckles. Looking at my knuckles turning black and blue, I walked over to the bathroom, sitting agains't the door, silently breaking down. I turned over to my "friend." "Hi there. Sorry I have to use you so often. It's all I can do." I whispered to it, and kissing my clean wrist. I slid the cold lifeless piece of metal on my now bloody wrist. The boys still don't know about my distraction. Good. They won't know. But if they do, its not from me. As I finished up, I covered all the evidence and just went to bed. I don't wanna fuck up more stuff.

KALI'S POV

 "Hey Kali, wanna watch a movie?" Alan sang to me before answering his own question and putting some paranormal shit movie in. "Al I don't wanna watch paranormal activity." I whined at him. "Well too bad." He said with a mischievous smirk. "Noooo!" I whined. He laughed as I clung to him begging him for a different movie. But as always, he was so stubborn. We ended up watching the movie, as I fell asleep in the beggignning of it. I had a dream. Not a normal one though. It was a flashback. Of Bryce. That time I ran away after telling Alan I loved him. That time when he found out I cut. All of it. All I heard was "Kali.....Kali....." but it was really faint. I was in a nightmare. One that I coudn't snap out of. It all came back to me. I was shaken awake by Alan, opening my eyes to see him about to cry. "Ka-Kali a-are you ok-kay?" He said, leaving me to nice everyone else staring at me, all looking as if they were gonna cry. I then noticed my mascara stained cheeks. I walked over to the bathroom, washing out all of my makeup. After that, I couldn't take it. My back collided with the wall, sending me on the floor in my own jumbled up world. I thought about the time I said yes to Bryce. How I thought it was help me. I found myself breaking with every thought. When I thought I was in the bathroom enough, I surely opened the door and walked out. But I wasn't expecting this to happen.

ALANS POV

She was perfect. She really was. At the moment, she was laying, her head on my shoulder, sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Looked. It was all fine, until I heard her panic. Not just regularly, in a matter of seconds, she broke down. In her sleep. I can't even imagine what made her like this, im a dream. Or is it? "Kali." Nothing. "Kali" I said a little louder. "Kali?" I couldn't keep the tears back. "Kali!" I shouted, when the guys came and helped me. Her eyes opened, and she had the worst look on her face. She ran into the bathroom, and didnt come out for a little. All I heard was sniffling. When she finally got out, the confidence in me went up like a rocket. I ran to her, picked her up bridal style, and put her on the couch, before crashing my lips onto hers. She tried pulling away, but I was too strong. She couldn't. After a little trying, she finally gave up and kissed back. Her hands tangled in the back of my hair, and I bit her lip, leaving her to moan. It was hard, but I did it. I pulled back, and looked her straight in the eye. "Kali, will you take the honors of being my girlfriend?"

OH. EM. GEE. THIS TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE. IT TOOK LONG BECAUSE I TRIED WRITING A LONG ASS CHAPTER. I HOPE ITS GOOD UGH.