Dear My Sanity

Chapter .2.

"Ms. Lucker ?" A female voice calls me as I awake from the slumber they had forced me into with the powerful drug they used on me.

I felt sleepy and drowsy as if I wasn't fully awake.

"W-what kind of drugs did you use on me?" I mumble trying to keep my voice low so they wouldn't force anymore of the horrid drug in me.

"It's called B52. You should be feeling a little drowsy and well sleepy. We had to give you the drug because you were arguing with that voice in your head, you were jerking violently we had no choice but to transfer you to a more secure room. We went with this drug to calm you down." She smiled at me as if she knew what I was going through, but she didn't.

"It's a little strong, I bet it is especially on a small teenage girl, as yourself. " She again smiles at me and pats her perfect blonde hair, unlike my dark black hair and filled with split ends.

She begins to undo the straps on the bed leaving me in the white straight jacket that had me in an uncomfortable position. But what did I expect? I was Insane or at least they thought I was.

"So are you ready for your first session of counseling?" She looked at me and winked.

How could she sit there and act so happy while she knew I was dying in the inside?

I just nodded my head.

She set me down in a wheel chair as if I couldn't be trusted walking just down the hallway. I guess that is what happens if your insane you can't go anywhere without not being trusted?

***

She pushes me into a room labeled 'Counseling Office LVL 4' .

I look ahead of me seeing a woman sitting at a metal table, looking professional with a name tag that read 'Daisy'.

"Here ya' go miss Daisy. Ms. Lucker didn't give me any trouble." She smiles at me before grabbing my hand and helping me into a cushioned chair.

She leaves the room closing the door just leaving me and the counselor named Daisy alone.

An awkward silence feels the room, no fake smiling, no fake laughing, no voices, just perfect silence. That I seem to miss.

"So Ms. Lucker?" I look up trying to not show the cringe on my face of being called 'Ms Lucker'.

"Desi, call me Desi." See this is what I don't understand. They call you in here acting as if everything is going to be okay, but you know it's certainly not. You can't fix me, i'm broken.

"So when did you start noticing these 'voices'?" She looks up from her fancy notebook, scanning my face.

When did I first encounter them? How could I ever forget when I started to hear the Devil?

I couldn't.

"I was 10, You see I didn't really have any friends it didn't matter if I bought the new stuff I could never just fit in. That's when they came, to company me. When I was alone no one would talk to me, but they did. When I was sad, guess who made my self esteem lower? The voices.

They made me think I was a killing machine, that anyone that messed with me, I mean us, would not get away with it. I'm pretty sure you read my files and heard about Sarah? You think you've heard crazy things? Wait till you hear my story, Daisy" I couldn't help but smirk.

"Desi, I bet that was hard for you. Not having a Father, Friends, and how about your Mom?" She scribbles something on her bright yellow notepad.

"Mom? She was there but she was more at work then in my life but it is understandable Dad wasn't their he was here. Like me." I wanted to move my arms but with this straight jacket I couldn't move.

"Do you mind taking this off?" I wiggle.

She raises her eyebrow. "Sure."

She waves her hand, telling the nurses to come. They walk in ready to hit me with a syringe that held a powerful drug.

"No, just take the jacket off of her." Daisy says seriously.

They begin to take it off.

"You know this is going to be well." They sang in harmony.

I open my eyes wide. The voices they were back.
I shake my head, I had to fight them I couldn't give in, not again.

"Thank you." I say as the Nurses leave slamming the door this time.

"So how did you feel when you killed that nurse?" She asks.

Maybe I should have kept the straight jacket on. I know the voices are going to react to this one. How was I going to react to this one? I haven't fully registered what I had even done. I killed someone. I took someone's life who deserved to live.

I didn't want to remember but I had to.

I felt myself fade into one of the memories that haunted me.