Tutored By The Bad Boy

Chapter Sixty One: Relationships Are Hard

Samantha's POV
By the time our food came, the conversation shifted into school work and jobs. I was relieved to get off the topic of gifts, but I was starting to feel guilty.

What kind of girlfriend/friend am I when I don't even know what to buy them?

I felt that I had failed. I still had a couple days left to figure something out, but I was really worried.

What if they hated what I got them?

I could just see their faces scrunch up in disgust as they opened my crummy gift. They'd get so mad, they'd throw me out of their house. My mother would disown me. My only friend would be a dead squirrel on a stick.

Okay, I thought. Maybe I'm overreacting. Like, A LOT.

"Sam?" Cameron asked, looking at me. I looked up at him, trying to remember what was last said. "You okay?" He asked, his face melting in concern.

"Yea. I'm fine!" I insisted, taking a sip of my water. "You've barely touched your food." Emma said, pointing to my still full plate.

"That's not like you." Grace said, turning away from Shawn who was whispering something in her ear. The way Grace lowered her eyes at me made me know that they were catching on.

"Yeah. Think I'm just getting sick. Stomach bug, ya know?" "Do you want me to drive you home?" Cameron asked, grabbing my hand from under the table.

"No! I'm fine. Really." I said, taking another sip of my water. "Man, you sure like water don't you?" Nash asked. "You haven't put your cup down."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, my throats a little dry, probably another sign I'm getting sick." I said, fake coughing. It must have sounded somewhat realistic because nobody said anything after that.

I felt Cameron move his thumb in circles around my knuckles, the motion slowing down my heartbeat enough for me to relax.

----

After dinner, we all headed back to the Grier's place. I sighed as I sprawled onto the floor, not wanting to sit on the couch.

One by one , my friends joined me and after awhile, we laid in a circle on the floor.

"Do you ever just, stress out about something that doesn't even matter?" Emma asked, probably thinking about Hayes.

"All the time." I answered. Cameron hummed in response, tilting his head towards me. "Yea. Sometimes life's not easy. Especially when you love someone."

I smiled and looked at him. "Are you saying I give you stress?" Cameron shook his head. "No. I'm just saying sometimes you're a pain in the ass."

"What do you mean 'sometimes'?" Asked Nash. We all laughed.

"Relationships are hard." Hayes blurted out, saying what we've all been thinking.

"Tell me about it." Grace said. I had never thought Grace was the one to stress about that sort of thing, but then again, before she started dating Shawn she didn't really know what it was like.

"Sometimes, you just hurt people around you not even meaning to." Emma said. I heard Emily hum in response. "That's the problem with loving people."

"You always get hurt." Cameron finished. "Even if they're lying assholes." I sighed. Had he loved Vicky? Or was it some kind of artificial thing? I guess when you hang around someone for long enough, you learn to love them.

Especially when you think they're carrying your child.

"Why do we do this to ourselves?" I asked. Shawn grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "Do what?" He asked, looking at me.

I breathed in and stared at the celling. "Fall in love. Trust someone. It's like giving someone a loaded gun and expecting for them not to shoot it. Sure they won't do it right away, but wouldn't they do it eventually?" I asked.

"What if they unload the bullets?" Nash asked. "That means it doesn't have meaning. A guns nothing without a bullet. A bullet is nothing without a gun." Emily said.

"So does that mean we're all armed with guns?" Hayes asked. "Yup." Cameron said, grabbing my other hand. "And you guys have it right against my heart."

I saw Grace grab her brothers hand. "We're all just sitting ducks, waiting for someone to pull the trigger." She whispered.

"This is not what I thought life was going to be like." Emma said, grabbing Shawn's hand. "Pain. Crying. Stressing. I thought by now I'd have my whole life figured out. Now I don't even know where to begin."

"That's why we're here. To help you." Hayes said, grabbing her hand. "All lost in a maze, trying to find our way out. And what's at the end of it?" Emily said, holding Hayes' hand.

"The sweet release of death." Nash said, grabbing Emily's hand. "Is this all even worth it?" Grace asked, grabbing Nash's hand.

We all just sat there, 4 girls and 4 guys holding hands and laying in a circle. All so lost, but pretending to know exactly where they are.

"I have no idea." Cameron answered his sister. "All I know is that I love you guys. And isn't love enough?" He asked, looking at me.

"Love." I said, thinking about the word. "Is." Shawn said, interrupting my train of thought. "Always." Emma said. "Enough." Hayes finished, looking at Emma.

"At." Emily said. "Least." Nash said, chuckling at the fact we were going around in a circle saying words. Either that or laughing at me for moving my head to look at everyone as they spoke.

"For." Grace said, sounding drowsy. "Us." Cameron finished. And then we laid there. Nobody said anything as the sound of us breathing filled the room. I smiled as I replayed the sentence in my head over and over again:

"Love is always enough. At least for us."

"Yea." I said, my stomach filling with butterflies. Something about having my friends here, all of us holding hands was breathtaking. In reality, we were all connected like this, going down the same road and trying to find the way out.

"I guess it is."

A/N
Hey guys! Sorry for a somewhat crappy chapter, hope you guys enjoyed it though!

Sorry it wasn't as cheerful as the last couple chapters. Cheery chapters are always fun to write!

Don't forget to favourite, comment, follow and share this book with your friends!

Love you guys so much!

Xoxo,

-Kat☄