TRAHERN (boyxboy)

Chapter Nine

I feel him as he approaches me.  Only he would know that I am here.  I always feel a sense of tranquility when I am near this waterfall.  Finis has to realize that this place is not just his saving grace anymore.

I hear his beautiful voice wash over me as he says, "Please come out where I can see you.  I know you are here and I sense all of these horrible emotions coming from you and I need to make sure you are okay."

See, my Nachton is a warmhearted soul.  I dive into the lake and come out and begin to leave the lake when I hear his slight gasp.  It was never really important whether I looked good or not.  My soul was ugly so I was ugly but I have to tell you that there is true power in knowing just what your presence can do to your mate.

My heart begins to fill with pride, an emotion I never had a reason to feel.  I walk out of the water and right up to him and hear him squeak as I soak him up nice and wet wrapping myself around him.  Then I burrow my face right into the side of his neck and take in the smell of him right there in an effort to calm my racing heart.

I feel him wrap his arms around my neck and head as he caresses me and asks, "What's wrong love?"  I take in another deep whiff and will myself to calm down.  I am not in any way, shape or form a pussy.  I need to man up and just trust in my mate and the bond that continues to grow stronger and stronger between us.

I start to press slight kisses on my mates neck slowly working my way towards his succulent lips.  I hear a small giggle escape him right before I silence him with my lips and begin to just take what I need from him.  He provides no resistance as I know he needs this as much as I do.

Kissing him is one of the most momentous experiences of my life.  It calms and excites me at the same time and no matter how much I kiss him, I can never get enough.  Eventually it has to come to an end as I know I will have the most difficult conversation with him and I just don't know where to begin.

I hear in the back of my mind, Start from the beginning and just let it all out until there is nothing left.  Everything will be okay.  I laugh a bit as I hear Finis reassure me.  As Nachton pulls me by my hand and urges me to sit with him on the grass near the lake, he says, "Please tell me what's wrong?  Have I done something...?"  Before he can even finish that sentence, I silence him with a very tender peck on his lips which causes him to blush.

I pull back and run my thumb along his plump bottom lip and say, "Shhh, you could never do anything wrong in my eyes."  I hear him giggle lightly as I feel his relief and say, "I need to tell you some things about myself that none other than Finis knows and he found out unintentionally so you will be the one and only person I will have ever spoken to about ME."

I see the curiosity in his gaze but I say, "I want to tell you a story and I need you to just listen okay."  He nods his assent.

"The way I am.  I was  not born this way.  I was conditioned to be who I am today."  I see the confused look on his face but I continue.  "If, I have to put a face to describe the term EVIL, it would be my father.  I do not think there was ever a moment that I can remember in my entire life that that man was ever kind to me."

I take in a deep breath to try and keep my anxiety at bay but in the end his very light and simple touch calms me instantly and I continue.  I am looking down into my lap, "My mother died while giving birth to me so I never knew the gentle touch of a mother or anyone for that matter.  Other than Finis, yours is the only touch that calms me, soothes my soul and has finally exposed me to what a gentle and loving touch should be."

I feel his hands grasp onto mine in my lap.  "I do not believe he was sane after her death but he was so proud of his lineage.  We are pure blooded Gammas and at the first sign of what he perceived as weakness, he did everything in his power to remove that weakness from me."

I am now shaking because with my next words I know that I could lose him and I just don't know if I am strong enough to withstand that.  Not from him but I continue.  I feel one of his hands rubbing up and down my forearm and the tingles are like a balm soothing my soul.

"As early as maybe four or five years of age, my father began the process of turning me into who, what I am today.  Until the day I met you, I felt NOTHING.  No emotions of fear, love, anxiety, pain, just....nothing.  He effectively beat every single emotion out of me until the day he died.  Hunger, I have no clue what that is since he would starve me for days until I did what he wanted and what he wanted was the perfect killing machine."

"The things he did to my body and mind I know are atrocious but that is all I have ever known.  I am broken inside and I know I am not worthy of being your mate.  I am so, so sorry!"  Before I try to get up he climbs right into my lap and straddles me while simultaneously taking one of his hands to lift my face to his forcing me to look right into his eyes.

His other arm is wrapped around me and what I see in his eyes takes my breath away but if I were standing, his next words would bring me to my knees.  "Trahern, I don't care if you're broken.  YOU are prefect for me and do you know why?"  I shake my head no and he responds with, "Because I love YOU.  Even if you were not my true mate, I believe I would still love you and only you."  Then for the fist time since I was a child, tears begin to spill rapidly down my face and before I know it, I have my face completely buried in my favorite part of his body, the side of his neck and just completely let go knowing that in the arms of my mate, I am totally safe.