Love to be Loved by You UPDATING

#3 Guilt

It's was almost 11 o'clock when Kibum got home. He was about to look into his backpack for the key when he suddenly remembered he had given Taemin his apartment's key.

"Silly me. How can I forget that? Minnie surely is sleeping now..."

He sighed and knocked on the door. Within 10 seconds Taemin opened the door, smiling.

"Umma you're home" He grabbed Key for a hug.

"Why aren't you sleeping yet Minnie?"

"I was waiting for you Umma. I wanted to see again before I go to sleep."

"That's so sweet." Key pinched Taemin's cheek. "Did you eat something baby?"

"Yes. The soup you cooked for me was really tasty. I missed your cooking so much."

"Of course. I'm the Almighty Key, baby." Kibum said laughing. "Now go to bed sweetheart. You have school tomorrow, what I still can't understand. Why do you want to start so early?"

"What else should I do when you're at school. I'll bore myself to death."

"How about going out and meet some new friends?"

"Isn't it easier to make new friends at school?"

"You're right. I'm starting to say nonsense. It was a long day at work." Key relpied.

"Then I'll let you now. Good night." Taemin said and went to bed.

After taking a shower, Key entered the bedroom to check on his baby. He pulled up the blanket for Taemin and kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you for being by my side right now."

Through half opened eyes Taemin watched his best friend closed the door. Sure he was really tired because of the long flight, but he was too worried about Kibum. They barely talked about Key's sickness, but it isn't hard to notice the changes in Key's behavior. The older boy didn't need to tell him his condition, Taemin knew it.

They have been friends since the kindergarten. Taemin had always admired Key. Key was only one year older than him but Key always seems so much more mature and strong. He had protected and cared for Taemin all the time, even though he was the only who had been sick since he was born. It was a genetic illness that didn't kill you right away but caused you many pains before it came to an end. Taemin had seen how much pills Kibum had to take every day and the fact that these pills weren't cheap only made it worse. It forced Key to work hard after school. Besides, his parents died years ago, so he had to live alone on his own, since he was 16. Despite all that, Kibum was always there for the younger. That was why Taemin called him umma, when they were very young. It had become a habit without knowing. The more he loved his older friend, the more he felt guilty about not being by his side for the last 5 years, since his family moved to Germany. He felt like he had betrayed his best friend even if they have never broken the contact. Now, when Key's condition was getting worse, he knew it was his turn to take care of Kibum.

Meanwhile, in the leaving room, Kibum was lying on the sofa-bed trying to fall asleep but failed. Signed, he sat up and grabbed his diary. He loved writing diary. That was the only way he could let out his feeling. Sure he talked to Taemin a lot and the younger was a great listener, but Key had never told his son about the pains he was feeling every day and about how weak he felt sometime. It was not that he didn't trust Taemin; he just didn't want his baby to worry about him. Sometimes, he wondered if people would read all this after his death. What would they think about him?

Key opened his notebook and wrote about how happy he was to see Taemin again after 5 years. He missed his best friend more than he had realized and he was more than glad to have him back by his side, especially right now. Taemin might look and act like a kid but he could read you like a book easily. He always knew how Key was feeling only by hearing his voice. That was why he was here when Kibum need him the most. However, Taemin's kindness also made Key feel guilty because he couldn't tell Taemin about the getting-Jonghyun-to-fall-in-love-with-him-plan. He knew what he was doing was wrong, so he didn't want his best friend to know about that side of him. Taemin would hate him for that, right? Besides if his plan failed and he'd die someday, he wanted Taemin to remember him as the caring umma and the best friend he grew up with, not the horrible person he had become because of money.