After years of being in the closet Louis finally decides to take the big step and come out. Not just to his family, but also to the public. He didn't expect smooth sailing, but he never imagined how rough the waters would get. Now being ignored by h...
"Mother, I'll call you back." I didn't wait for a response as I hung up. My lips trembled and I was on the verge of tears.
"Please take me home." I chocked out voice hoarse and low. I didn't get a reply but I knew he had heard me. I knew I had to face her sometime or another I just didn't think it would be so soon. I could feel beads of sweat sliding down my foreheads and sides.
The drive felt short, too short. I wasn't thinking as I walked right out the door even before the car has stopped. I had completely forgotten about the awkward experience I had at Harrys moments ago. I had one thing on my mind.
My stomach churned as I dialed the numbers. I felt like I was going to throw up any minute.
"Hello Louis." Her voiced sounded so different since I last heard it. So delicate.
"Yes mother its me."
"Oh baby." I could hear her sniffling on the other end. It sounded like she was crying. Even after everything she said to me, hearing her like this broke my heart.
Before I got say anything she beat me to it.
"Louis I need you to come here." I stayed silent not knowing exactly what to say. I wanted to know what was going on but I didn't know if I was ready to face her right now.
"Please baby, its important." I nodded not that she could see me.
"Ok ill be there tomorrow morning." I knew I couldn't put this off any longer and clearly she needed to see me.
"I love you remember that."
"Bye mother." I wasn't going to say those words. Especially not now. I heard a faint sigh befour the line went dead. I stayed frozen in my spot. My knuckles hurt as the grip on my phone got tighter and tighter.
I threw my phone on the empty spot next to me on the couch. I heard a ding from besides me. My head snapped to my right, I quickly read the text.
Hey where did ya go~Harry
My head snapped back to its original position. I could feel my eyes getting blurry with tears. It's like I couldnt control what I did next. I picked up the vase filled with roses and water and heaved it against the wall across from me.
I picked up the nearest glass item, which happened to be another vase and threw it against the same wall. My breath came out in short pants and this time I had tears streaming down my face. I collapsed onto the floor laying down fully on my back. I somehow always ended up like this.
I could taste how salty my tears were but I made no effort to try and stop them. I hated everyone right now. I hate Harry and my manager. My mom, my so called friends who I haven't talked too in months. I hate this world. I hate everyone who never helped me. But I especially hate myself for pushing those who tried to help me away.
I pushed myself off of the floor harshly wiping the tears off my cheeks. I wasn't going to let myself get back to this point. I didn't want to cry myself to sleep on the floor again. I didn't know where this was going or if this would work but I need to start somewhere.
I walked upstairs grabbing my laptop off the top of my desk. I brought it down stairs opening it books the next flight to Doncaster. I smiled at myself. I was finally making a change. Things would get better. They just had too. I would speak to my mom and she would finally be ok with my being gay. I would get all my friends back, and my life would improve.
Deep deep down I knew it would be that easy. I repressed those bad thought to the back of my mind as I went to make myself food. I hadn't properly cooked for myself in so long, so working the stove felt brand new to me.
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I grinned at how good it came out. I still knew my way around a kitchen and I was very proud with my end result. My kitchen was a mess though. Dirty pots and pans littered the counters. Cheese and meat all over the floor. I ignored the mess picking up my plate and walking it over to my dinning table. I sat down taking a few pictures making a mental note to post them later on.
I looked down at my plate then around me. I frowned, I really was lonely. I tried cheering myself up remembering that once I turned everything around and met up with my mom things would magically fall into place and I would never feel like this again.
No matter how much I tried to cheer myself up it didn't seem to work. I knew there was one person that could possibly help me but after what happened today I don't think I could face him. Plus I still need to find a way to tell him I no longer wanted to be in the fashion show. I know it was about a year away but I don't know how much more of this I could take.
Part of me knows he didn't do anything and this is just my insecurities surfacing but the other part of me just thinks life would be easier if I took him out of my life. I wasn't going to mention anything right now seeing as I needed to handle one thing at a time.
I decided to not text Harry about coming over and just eat alone but I made sure to send him a quick text on what happened and by 'what happened' I mean I told him I had a family emergency and i'm going back home tomorrow. I decided that if I wanted to start over and make a new me I was going to have to stop lieing, so I decided that was the last lie I was ever going to tell.
I decided on cleaning up the broken glass from the floor then cleaning up the kitchen before going to pack. It took me longer than I had expected but I finally finished at 12:27 am. I took a quick shower avoiding my hair and set my alarm for 7:00 am.
I feel asleep making sure not to think to much about tomorrow. I didn't want to sike myself out of this. I let my mind drift to the good old days, when my mom would sing me to sleep and I dint have a care in the world.
1131 words/// It seems like I'm dragging this all out and that's because I am. I'm not good at writing so I'm trying to take my time and make the talk between Louis and his mom good. I already started the next chapter I just need to figure out a way to write it so it doesn't sound like 'I went to talk to my mom and she said she was happy for me and now my life is great and im Happy and I married harry and adopted 8 kids and Im SUPER DUPER HAPPY NOW' because honestly that sucks I don't want my story to be like that.
