Looking Beyond

Chapter 23: Office Meeting

     Jacob rummaged through the refrigerator, looking for something to eat. 'Leftovers. It figures, we're all leaving in the next few days for Christmas. No point in wasting stuff.' He thought to himself as he moved a pitcher of Trevor's special green juice to reach the leftover steak from the other night. He set up a plate for himself and placed it in the microwave. As he waited, he noticed a light coming from the hallway off the kitchen. 'Weird. Why's the light on in Dan and Brea's office?' He left his food to heat and went to investigate. He got to the office and found Brea sitting at her desk reading what looked like her journal. He had never seen this one before. "Already on a new journal?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips.

     Brea didn't look up from the pages. "It's an older one, from a long time ago."

     "Hey Darlin'. I was wondering why you haven't come upstairs yet."

     "Jacob!" Brea jumped in her seat, slamming the journal closed.

     "You're just now realizing that it's me?" He sat on the corner of her desk and grabbed his chest. "My girlfriend was so absorbed in her journal that she didn't see me. I'm hurt!" He teased.

     "Sorry. I was distracted. Trying to get my mind off some stuff." She closed her eyes and shook her head.

     "So looking at your past is going to take your mind off of what kind of stuff?" He took her hands and laced them in his own.

     "Flop and wiggle." She sighed, face retreating to it's previous dark pink color.

     Jacob's hands tightened around hers. "You saw Trevor naked?" He tried to hold back his hurt.

     Brea felt like an idiot. "It was an accident! I was in his room talking to Erik!"

Jacob arched his eye at her, looking for a more detailed explanation. "You know how this sounds, right?" His grip loosened and he tried to pull his hands away.

     "I'm am stupid! I'm sorry!" Brea held onto his hands tighter and tried to rush out the reasonable explanation she had. "I went to talk to Erik about Savannah! I was trying to get him to tell her how he feels. Trevor came in from the bathroom and didn't see me, so off his towel came and yeah...I guess what happened next is what you guys call 'flop and wiggle.' I couldn't shut my eyes fast enough! Erik yelled at him too."

     Jacob watched Brea with amusement. It wasn't the first time Trevor had caught someone off guard. "Trevor's always been like that. You should have seen the time we all played basketball outside and he ripped his tear-away pants off. He forgot he wasn't wearing his shorts underneath. He also forgot that he wasn't wearing anything underneath." He chuckled.

     "I am so embarassed..."

     "Was that why you haven't come up to see me yet?"

     Brea nodded, her cheeks still pink. "Yeah..." She played with the journal in her hands. "Well, that and I wanted to show you some stuff. I need to show it to you, because I can't really tell you without..." She sighed and started again. "It'll explain why I do some things and not others with you."

     Jacob knew exactly what 'stuff' she meant. "You don't need to do anything you don't want to do." He smiled at her and lowered his voice. "I just want to see you happy...really happy."

     Brea squirmed in her seat. "I know. It's not like I haven't thought about you doing..." She bit her lip and opened her journal, shoving it towards Jacob. "Just read this, and a few pages after."

     Jacob took a hand from Brea's and read the passage she instructed him to read. He took his time, as if he were committing to memory what had bothered Brea so much that she wouldn't allow him the satisfaction of giving her an even better sexual experience. Brea sat with her hands on her face, chagrined that she was showing him these entries, but knowing that she had no other way to explain it to him. "What kind of guy says that to a girl? Especially one you're in a serious relationship with?"