Looking Beyond

Chapter 28: Time to Think

     The alarm from Brea's phone echoed throughout the room. She grabbed her phone and turned the alarm off. She stretched out, groaning at how poorly she had slept the night before. She rolled over to kiss Jacob good morning but found the space empty. She sat up quickly and turned on the light. Jacob was nowhere in the room to be found. The only trace of him was a note, written on a page torn from his songwriting book, left on his pillow. Brea got a sickening feeling in her stomach as she recalled the last words she said the night prior. She took the note into her hands and began to read.

Brea,

     I don't think there's any right way to say this, but I'll try. I've enjoyed spending time with you. I really have. It was just something about last night that I... I need time to think about things – alone. I have so many things going on in my mind at the moment. Please understand.

- Jacob

     Brea clutched the note and tried to breath. She did her best to compose herself – she didn't want to talk to anyone about it. It was bad enough that she was already having a conversation with herself in her mind. She took her pen and journal from the side of the bed. Using the journal as a clipboard, she wiped away a couple of tears that had fallen onto the paper. She was going to try and handle this better than she did five years earlier, regardless of how much it devastated her. She placed her pen to the paper and wrote back to Jacob. Once she finished, she placed the paper back onto his pillow, made the bed, and got dressed for work – neatly folding Jacob's shirt she had worn and leaving it on his bed. She took everything she had up there with her and left.

* * *

     Jacob pulled back into the driveway. He had driven to the beach to clear his mind and ended up spending the rest of the night there. It helped slightly – he still had no idea what to do with everything he felt. He ran his hands over his face and leaned back in his seat. He wondered how she took the note. He hoped that it wouldn't hurt her as much as he knew it would. He glanced at the time on his phone and sighed. Brea was probably eating breakfast in the kitchen. As much as he wanted to see her, he couldn't. Not until he got his thoughts figured out. It'd be better to stay away from her. He pulled his keys from the ignition and reluctantly headed for the house. He stepped inside, noticing a light at the end of the hallway. 'Maybe she's in the office.' He thought as he quickly made his way up the stairs and to the sanctuary of his room.

     He closed the door behind him and, in a rare move, locked it. He was lucky enough to not have run into any of his housemates along the way. The last thing he needed now was small talk. He leaned against his door and sighed heavily. "Why'd you have to change things Darlin'?" He trudged his way up the stairs. His bed was made nicely – Brea always did that for him. His eyes drifted towards his pillow, where his note and the flowers he had given Brea the night before laid. He picked up the paper, feeling a sharp pain in his heart when he saw some of his words smeared from teardrops. He looked down at the different colored ink at the bottom of the note.

Jacob,

I want you to take as much time as you need to think. Write more music – you are so incredibly talented and the world needs to know that. You can't write as much with me around. To be honest, I could use the time too. I don't harbor any ill-will towards you. In a way, I knew that this was bound to happen.

- Brea

P.S. I know what I said last night. I meant it, even if I didn't mean for you to hear it. I'm sorry.