Stepbrother: Luke Hemmings |a.u.|

After All

Every. Single. Time.

Every single time I let Luke back into my life, he always finds a way to fuck it up. Sometimes, I curse myself for being so forgiving, but now, I'm cursing myself for being so stupid. This is actually all my fault for even giving him so much access into my life . . . but somehow, I still feel the same way about him. I know I may sound stupid, I know I may sound naive . . . but I feel so strongly for Luke. I may never know why, but I do. But I don't want him to know that I still like him after this. That's just giving him more and more chances to fuck up more parts of my life. I have to be strong for myself. It's time to let all that shit with Luke go.

I have to be serious this time.

I have to get serious about my future. I have to prepare for what my life is going to be like as an adult. As an adult, I can't continue to play all of these silly little games anymore. He has to realize that I have to prepare for the rest of my life. As much as I like him, I just can't do this anymore. I take a deep breath and step outside of my room. My hands get clammy as I prepare to knock on Luke's door.

"Luke," I say through the wood. Within half a second, he opens the door. I take a step inside and stand in front of the bed.

"Taylor, listen,"

"No, Luke. You listen." He's quite.

"Luke, I can't keep doing this with you. Whatever this is, has to stop. It's not good for me. It's not good for you. I'm going to college soon, where that'll be anyway. It's time to grow up, Luke." I say. I should've done this so long ago.

"Taylor, you know we can make this okay again. I know we can. We always do." Luke says as he grabs my hand. I shake it from his grasp and cross my arms.

"And then what happens? Huh? We 'make it right' and then something else gets fucked up. This is tiring, Luke! I'm tired of this!" I say in a distressed tone.

"Taylor," He whispers.

"I don't like seeing you like this." He continues.

"You did this to me, Luke." Here come the tears.

"I forgive you for everything you've done, I do. But I can't just forget about all that shit, Luke. You've hurt me so many times. You've been selfish. I'm not going to sugar coat this for you anymore. You need to know why I'm saying this . . . why I'm doing this."

"Taylor," He says as he reaches for my hands again.

"Luke, I'm serious this time." I say as I uncross my arms.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I know you have to understand where I'm coming from."

"What am I supposed to do, Taylor? What am I supposed to do with you gone? No one in my life has tried to fix me like you have. No one has taken the time to see the good in me, Taylor. That's something that not everyone has with someone else. I know you feel that Taylor. That's . . . That's love to me, Taylor."

I know he did not just say the word, love.

"Love? Are you fucking kidding me? Someone who loved me wouldn't have justified my father cheating on my mother. Someone who loved me wouldn't have called me a bitch for having feelings for them. And someone who loved me sure as hell wouldn't have kept my transcripts away from me. Luke, do you not even understand what you've done to me? You've fucked things up one too many times, to say the least. It's time for you to grow up and respect yourself and others more than you do now." I exclaim.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about, Luke. Stop trying to pull me back into this. I'm done!" I say as I make my way to the door.

"I'm sorry, Taylor, but I really do love you, whether you believe it or not. I really do." I hear as I step under the door frame.

I just keep walking.

*A week later*

I'm sitting on my bed finishing up some last minute presentation ideas for my government class. I haven't talked to Luke at all since our last discussion and . . . I'm actually proud of myself. Sure, it hurts like hell, but I know I'm doing what's best for me. Over the past year, I've realized that sometimes I have to put my intuition first, even if it seems stupid.

*Ring ring ring*

I go to pick up my phone. Who the hell is this calling me?

"Hello?" I answer.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Dawson. This is Ms. Dawson, correct?" The woman on the other line asks.

"Yes, this is she. Good afternoon. How may I help you?" I ask.

"I was calling in regards to your last interview with the Dean a couple of weeks ago. The dean has requested a second interview with you, Miss."

Holy. Fuck.

"That would be incredible!" I say as I try to contain myself.

"Great! She has an opening for a visit on the 29th of this month. Are there any scheduling conflicts? " She says.

"No, ma'am. No conflicts at all." I can't stop smiling.

"Great! We will contact you about a week in advance for confirmation" She says.

"Thank you so much, ma'am." I almost squeal.

"She really sees a lot of potential in people like you. Good luck, darling." She softly says.

"Thank you so much. Have a great day." I say.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

A second chance?

Words can't express the amount of gratefulness I have for something like this. This is what I have always wanted, and now I have to chance to do it all again and finally get it right.

*2 weeks later*

I can't believe I have an interview with the dean (again) in less than two hours. Everyone has been so encouraging this time around and everyone has their hopes up. My intuition tells me that this is going to go as planned this time. I just know it will.

"Taylor, grab your things so we can go. I want you to get there with an ample amount of time." My mom says. I've asked her to come with me this time because I feel like no matter what happens, having someone who loves me by my side through the whole thing with make every part of it worth it.

I look over the railing that is above the living room and I see my mom, Andrew, and Luke. I

I still haven't talked to Luke since the whole thing, but as I'm given a second chance at Columbia University, I realize that things happen for a reason. You get hurt. You hurt people. Mistakes are made. It all just makes sense in the end. Knowing that Luke is always going to be a part of my life gives me more reasons to move on and live my life as it was before. Luke has taught me to let go sometimes. Live my life. Be wild sometimes. This has even taught me to make mistakes and learn from them. All I can do is learn from this.

As I walk down the stairs in my professional-looking clothes, I see my mother's eyes tearing up.

"Look at my little girl, going to meet with the dean of Columbia University." She says to Andrew, who hugs me.

"Knock 'em dead, kid. " He says to me as he gives me a tight hug. When I look up, I see Luke with a small smile, even though his eyes say otherwise.

"Good luck, Taylor." He says. I look at him and I know that love isn't always pretty. Love doesn't always work out the way that you want it to. But that doesn't mean it isn't there.

I reach out and give Luke a tight hug. A couple of tears gather up. I know that he's hurt me. I know that I've hurt him, but something makes me not want to leave him. Something makes me want to never let go of him.

I guess I love him after all.

The End.