I Told You, Eli Oxley

Chapter Forty-Three

Was that too neat? Wrapping things up like that with my dad?

Sometimes reconciliation works like that. Oftentimes, your anger isn't nearly as fiery as you thought it was once you see how sorry they are. It also helps when you've been just as guilty as they are. What he had done to me was no worse than me cheating on Kara and Al.

Speaking of Kara and Al, would you like me to wrap things up with them? Find some way to bring everything back together for the ending? Well, as often as reconciliation is clean and neat, it can be equally dirty. Which is to say, sometimes you just can't reconcile with one another.

But you can try your damnedest to. If you really care about the other person, you'll do anything to get them back.

Which is what I did.

But not with both girls this time, of course. I made my decision to apologize to Kara with the best of my ability. If she accepted my apology, which would be great, I would make sure to draw a clear boundary in our relationship. Which would just be a friendship. If she didn't accept it, I would understand and leave it at that. Not much else I could do.

Al, on the other hand, well I'll get to her in a minute. First, my apology letter to Kara:

From: Eli_the_Ox@me.com

To: Kara_what-the_Flock@me.com

Subject: (empty)

Dear Kara,

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. You are an amazing person, and you deserve much more than what I've given you. You gave so much of yourself to me, and I abused your gift. I thought I could have everything without consequence and without thinking about how you would feel about it all, about how much it might hurt you. My love for you was real, though. No matter what my actions said, no matter how badly I screwed up, I still loved you. Funny way of showing it, huh?

I'm not looking to get back with you. All I want to do is apologize, because you deserve at least that much. I hope I haven't hurt you too badly and that you can find some sort of closure in my words.

Sincerely,

Eli

Her response?

From: Kara_what-the_Flock@me.com

To: Eli_the_Ox@me.com

Subject: Re: (empty)

You overestimate your ability to affect someone emotionally. Goodbye, Eli.

* * *

I guess she said her peace. Now, on to Al.

Before, though, I should let you know that I am ending my story with the following emails. It is a bittersweet moment right now for me as I finish. It's been a lot of hard work to write all of this, but I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I hope you've enjoyed yourself as well. I hope I've accomplished what I set out to do – to give you a glimpse of my life and help you learn a little bit about yourself and your own life.

The Bard truly was right: Parting is such sweet sorrow. But it must be done. As you read these last lines, know that I'm bidding you a grand farewell.

From: Eli_the_Ox@me.com

To: Ragamuffin_Al@me.com

Subject: Us

Al, I'm going to save you the trouble of having to read over a hundred lines of apologies from me and get to the point. I've loved you for over four years and, even though I pretty much destroyed any semblance of a relationship we had, I refuse to give up on myself and you. I know that I don't deserve you, and you deserve someone better than me, but that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. It would be impossible for me to stop loving you. Which means I'm going to keep pursuing you, keep chasing you, keep trying to deserve your love again – I'll never give up.

I've settled things with my dad, and he's going to help pay for Colorado. But I won't go without you. Wherever you are, I want to be there. I know that sounds like I'm your new stalker, but regardless, I'm just trying to tell you that I love you, and I'll do anything or sacrifice everything to be with you. I love you – I can't say it enough – I LOVE YOU.

I don't want to presume that you'll even forgive me, but still, I will wait here until you do.

Sincerely and always yours,

Eli

From: Ragamuffin_Al@me.com

To: Eli_the_Ox@me.com

Subject: Re: Us

Eli, If I could take it back, I would have never said "Hi" to you that first day of high school. If I could take it back, I would have never kissed you back or told you that I loved you.

These are lies, Eli. I love you, and I don't regret anything I've said or done regarding you (including punching you). I do wish you hadn't have hurt me. Things would be so much easier. But you did hurt me. I'm a forgiving person, and I don't believe in the forgive but not forget sentiment, but that doesn't mean my wounds don't need time to heal. What happens when they do heal? Do I just allow you back into my life?

I don't know yet. We'll just have to see when we get there.

From: Eli_the_Ox@me.com

To: Ragamuffin_Al@me.com

Subject: Re: Re: Us

I'll take it.

The End