I Can't Change {harry styles 1D}

Chapter 15- Hate

ARI'S POV-

I had been fading in and out of the real world for god knows how long. I had dreams, nightmares. Horrible nightmares. Every moment I wake up, pain shoots through my body giving me a dose of adrenaline, over and over again. When I'm awake I can feel my blood pumping through my hand and onto the bandage that is wrapped around it. And not to mention the pain, the heart wrenching pain.

But it's not any better when I'm asleep. Most of the time I'm out cold, I can't even remember what happened. But the nightmares will haunt me forever. Visions of what could've happened if the police didn't come, or if they came too late. The man's face being the last thing I see before waking up, panting with my heart racing. Or Harry, coming back for me, to only push me away...

'Harry! You came back for me!' I ran into his arms, feeling his warm embrace for only a second before he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away. I toppled and tripped sending me falling backwards and found myself dangling off of a cliff. I couldn't hold on for much longer. My friends stood beside Harry.

'Guys I can explain, it's all a misunderstanding! Please, don't let me fall!' I screamed, my grasp was getting weaker. I saw Luke walk up to my group of friends, smiling evilly waiting to see me fall.

'Luke please tell him the truth, please. I don't want to fall. Please help me anyone!' I was sobbing, my whole body radiating from the heat, sweat dripping from my forehead. I was getting dizzy, my vision was blurring.

'She's lying. She tried to kiss me and she said if I didn't do it she would tell Indie to break up with me,' Luke said, tears were rolling down my face. They all looked at me with a mixture of anger and hatred, their eyes turning a dark shade of red.

'We've always hated you. I never loved you and I never will!' Harry shouted, shattering my heart into millions of peices. I was falling...

I would jump up, sweat covering every part of my body. Struggling for breath, tears streaming down my face. Every morning the same dream, yet it effected me as if it was the first time I've ever seen it. Every time was the same. I would fear sleeping and I would fear waking up.

Have you ever felt completely helpless, have you ever been shoved around but you can't do anything about it? You speak but nothing comes out, your breath is staggering. Imagine all those things at once. Added with the thought of the few people you really love don't care about you anymore... It's a living hell.

'Hey Ari, you OK? You look...' Elle said as she walked into my hospital room. She looked like she hadn't slept a wink, she has been the only one with me through this, holding me when I wake up.

Today was the last day I was staying here, I had been here for two days. I just hoped once I leave, my nightmares will fade but a part of me knows they won't. Not until Harry forgives me, which right now I don't think will ever happen.

'I know, I look like shit,' I say, regaining my breath.

'Don't be so hard on yourself. How have you been feeling?' I saw a look of sympathy in her eyes, something I haven't seen in a while. Yet her eyes were also tired, showing hurt behind them. I knew how hard this must be for her too, watching someone get shot, sometimes she even thinks it's her fault for letting go of my hand. But all she has done is help me get through all this, and I'll be forever grateful.

'Feeling better. My hand isn't swelling as much. I'm just glad I'll be able to go home after this,' as I said it I immediately regret it. I can't go home. I asked Rochelle to call Indie, try to get her to talk to me. She won't listen. Candy came by to visit once, she heard on the news. She snuck out and she told me that she has been trying to get Indie to talk to me but she won't budge. So I don't really have a home anymore. Elle is letting me stay at hers, but I can't live there forever. Not with Candy and Indie a few blocks away.