I've Been Thinking Tøø Much, Help Me (a Jøshler fanfic) =REDONE=

Chapter Eight: Where Are You?

I awaken and I am back in my own home. I see no sign of Josh anywhere. I then notice that I have Josh's blanket around me from when I was on the third floor of the treehouse and in the bed. I smile and imagine Josh near me but then I remember he isn't near but probably far. I sigh and then walk up to my room where I see this small golden envelope with a heart shaped seal on it. I pick it up and on the front it says my name. I then open it and read the letter thats inside which said 'Dear Tyler, I was told that you'd be in need of a holiday, so I am sending you away from me. Yeah I know that may sound mean, but I need to do some thinking and I just think that you being away from me is the best thing for you right now. I've sent this letter to a few other people including Jenna your new friend as I believe you two need to get to know each other, your brother Zack will also be joining you. But for now, I hope you understand that I cannot be with you. I will miss you but then again you'll be missing me more. Now I don't want you to start looking for me because when you come back from the holiday, I will not be here. I cannot say the reason as to why I am gone. But I want you to remember something that is of most importance: I'll be holding on to you. - Josh' I begin to cry and say out loud to myself "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME JOSH! YOU KNOW I AM NOT OKAY SO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! JOSH, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! EVEN WHEN I DOUBT YOU!" I then say quietly "Which is right now! But that's not the point." I then return to the loud talking "I'M NO GOOD WITHOUT YOU! NO! NO! NO! NO!" I then begin crying and asking why I am still on this earth. I then pack my suitcase and go downstairs where I see my brother waiting. "What took you so long?" Zack asks before opening the front door. "Well... I was just getting a few things packed into my luggage so yea..." I say before walking out the door. I then hear the front door close and being locked before I see my brother walk in front of me. I then put my luggage in the car and then get in the passenger side and waited for my brother to get in the drivers side. After a minute, we were on the road and I pulled out my phone and looked through the pics I had on there. I smile and see one that Josh had managed to snap of us while were were at the hospital. Man I look like so silly in this pic, but Josh is smiling so nicely that it's one of my favourite pics of us. I sigh and then put my phone away. Two hours later and we arrive at the airport. We get our luggage and enter the building and see Jenna who was waiting for us. "Hello Tyler. Oh and you must be a friend of Tylers?" She asks with a smile before Zack says "No. I'm his brother actually. And you are?" Jenna smiles and says "I'm a new friend of Tyler's. We met when Tyler had a small accident. But he's fine now." I smile and blush a little before saying "I guess we are all here because Josh sent us cryptic letters in golden envelopes. Yeah?" Jenna and Zack look at each other before nodding their heads and I look to the ceiling and then to the ground and follow Zack and Jenna onto the plane. I hope we are going somewhere nice. I sigh and then once on the plane I went to my seat. Zack and Jenna followed suit. I then look out the window, put in earphones and listened to some sad song and silently cried because thoughts of Josh filled my mind. I miss Josh.

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Over the next few days, it was quite lonely without Tyler but I knew it was for the best. I didn't want him to worry about me as I knew he'd probably do something to stop me from getting help just so he could be with me. But the truth was, I was going insane and I was losing my mind and I wanted Tyler to see me as normal and not as some insane person who didn't remember anyone or someone who had too many visions about stuff that wasn't there. I've tried everything just to stay sane, but nothing worked and so on that day that I took Tyler to the hospital, I went to see a doctor and he told me to spend as much time together with people I loved because there was no indication on when I'd finally go insane and not be mentally with it. And so that is why when I took Tyler to my treehouse, I didn't let him see the route because I didn't want him to come find it and have to be reminded of me not being with it. That is why when Tyler found a video tape and I didn't let him watch it because it was of me being recorded to keep track of how sane I was and I didn't want Tyler to see it because I didn't want my best friend watch me slowly descending into madness. I just couldn't do that to him because that will leave a tear in his enormous blood red filled kind heart. I know I should have told him but I didn't because I knew that he was emotionally distressed with his own stuff that he's dealing with. And so that is why when I took him home after he fell asleep with my blanket wrapped around him, I let him keep the blanket because it would mean that I was with him always even though very soon I will not mentally be with it. And that is why I sent Tyler on a holiday with his brother Zack and his new friend Jenna. I know it's hard sometimes sometimes I gotta face my problems and just deal with them myself. I mean I don't know. I mean I could get better, but I just don't know right now. But all I know is that I am doing the right thing for both of us.

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Once we arrive at our destination I see my brother poke me as if to tell me to get off the plane. And so I do. I get off the plane and go find my luggage but then I see that Jenna and Zack have found it for me and so when I walk over to them they give me my luggage. "So, this is it. We are here." I sad with a sad tone of voice. "Hey Tyler, you okay?" Jenna asks curiously. "No. I miss him." I say sadly. "Look, I know you probably miss him Ty, but he wanted you to be happy." Jenna said to me before putting her arms around me and squeezing me tightly. I then realised she was giving me a hug but my mind didn't register that until she let go. I then watcher her walk off with my brother and so I ran up to them and I saw they were going to a bus. I then followed them onto the bus and I took a seat behind them. "What took you so long Ty?" My brother Zack asked curiously. "Nothing. I was just thinking too much. That's all. No need to worry about me. I'll be fine." I say in response but I was lying. I wasn't doing fine. I needed Josh by my side. But I knew that he wasn't going to be by my side and all I was thinking about was that time in the tree house on the third floor. Our floor. The very floor that we shared the same bed together until Josh went to the second floor to go make popcorn for us so we could watch a movie. I then decided to get off the bus and back into the airport. I needed Josh. I can't stop thinking about him because I need to see him. I need my best friend. I need to go back to the forest. I need to find that treehouse. And so once I am inside the airport, I get on the returning flight back home and before the plane leaves the ground, I text Josh to tell him that I was coming to find him. I was determined to see my best friend no matter what.

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I hear my phone go off and I see that Tyler had text me. I look at it and all I see are the words 'Find Me.' Well, that's what my mind had made it out to be anyways. I then wait til nightfall to make my escape from the hospital that I was in because if Tyler is missing, I will be the one to find him. "Come on, clock over to midnight!" I whisper loudly to my phone. I then waited what seemed to be a painstakingly long minute but then it finally went midnight. I then turned invisible - because for some reason I had that ability. Well... I guess I am DJSpookyJim but that shouldn't make me do anything creepy. Oh well, I guess having the power of invisibility let me sneak away into the night.

After what seemed like a few hours I find myself in the middle of the forest. I felt a bit confused and so I screamed out Tyler's name. I then hear my name being screamed out just as loud and so I ran to the edge of the forest and I see him. He looks at me with fear in his eyes. "What's wrong Tyler? Why are you looking at me like that." I ask curiously. He then shakes his head and says "I'll be holding onto you." He then runs up to me and gives me a tight hug and says "Don't let me be gone. Because I'm no good without you." I knew he was being cheesy and referencing lyrics to our songs, but I guess he was right. I shouldn't have let him go on a holiday without me telling him the actual reason why he should stay away. I then feel myself becoming sane again. It was like I wasn't actually insane after all. But I was just scared to lose Tyler and that's what made me go crazy. And so I smiled the biggest smile that I ever did and so Tyler looked at me confused and said "Why are you smiling?" I looked him in the eye and said "I thought I was crazy but it turns out I am not crazy but I was just scared of losing you. And so I don't have anything wrong with me. Isn't that great Tyler?" Tyler looked at me and said "But Josh, you look really pale. You don't look very good at all. You're not okay. You look like you might need blood transfusions." I then laugh and say "No Tyler I'm as good as gold. See watch this!" I look at Tyler and I see him shake his head but I then begin to run as fast as I could but then I feel myself getting short of breath and I begin to feel weak. Moments later and I see nothing but black.