Remember Me?

Chapter 26

Connor

As Troye lays in my arms. He closes his eyes.

"Do you want to stand up baby?" I ask and he nods. I stand up first and then take his weight in my arms. I help him to his bed. He lays down right away and then I lay beside him he clings to me. His head in the crook of my neck. His legs over me. I feel tears come down his face. I put my hands around his waist. Rubbing small circles on his back.

"Tro why are you crying?" I ask quietly.

"Con I'm broken. I'm shattered. My body can't take any food. My body is cut up. I'm depressed even when you are here. I hate it. I hate my life. I would have killed myself if you never came back to me in a week." Troye says and I run my hand up and down his back down to his butt and back up.

"Depression is hard to get out of. How about when I have to go back to the doctors. You come with. You can talk to my nurse and maybe she can get you some help." I say and he stops.

"What if she can't get me help." Troye says and I grab his hand tightly.

"She will cause she is a nurse and she has doctors by her side. She is the nicest nurse I have talked to. She has always been there for me. She is the one that kept me sane in that place. Troye she tired to convince me that we were together everyday. It helped some days and made it worse other days. She will help you. Like she helped me." I say telling the truth. She was always there for me. Threw the pain and not. She was there threw my sad days and my happy.

"Okay I can maybe go talk to her." Troye says and I smile.

"Good. I'll be there every step of the way. You can cry if you need. Be angry. Anything you feel she has been there threw it." I say and sigh. I wipe his face from the tears.

"Okay. I need you there 24/7. Like I said your my happy little pill and maybe if I do get help. They put me on pills you will be my pill that I need." Troye says and I kiss his hand.

"I'll gladly be your happy little pill." I say and he closes his eyes. He breaths in slowly and out. Until I feel him twitch. Sleep the best thing to escape his pain. I close my eyes and touch his hip and draw small circles on it while I slowly drift off to sleep.

"Ahha Connor!" Troye yells my eyes shoot open. He is screaming sitting up and breathing heavy.

"Heyy it's okay I'm here now see." I say taking his hand.

"No you can't be." Troye says and touches my face. He traces the features on my face. The scar above my eye to my lips.

"You are here."He says and whimpers.

"Always will be." I say and kiss his hand.

"You were dead on the table." Troye says and I shake my head.

"No it was a dream. Tro. I'm here. Not dead on the table. Dreams make things seem real. You had a bad year and it's your brain trying to figure things out." I say to him. Kissing his cheek. He sighs and I wipe his tears.

"I'm here now. I'm not dead I'll always be here." I say and he nods. I move closer to him and grab his face and kiss his lips lightly.

"A dead Connor wouldn't do that." I say and he sighs. He nods and rests his head back on the bed rest.

"I love you." I say and he smiles.

"I love you too." Troye says and lays back down on the pillow.

Skip a couple weeks.

Troyes P.O.V

"It's threw here baby." Connor says grabbing my hand as we walk in threw the doors.

"Oh hey Connor how are you feeling?" The nurse asks him and he nods.

"Its alright. Have pain sometimes in the head. And also in my ankle other than that I'm fine." Connor says and I sit on the bed next to him.

"It's good to see you with Troye. How are you Troye?" The nurse asks I don't talk at the moment. I just sit there holding his hand. She nods and looks at Connors head. His legs everything checking his pulse. Every minute that comes I squeeze harder.

"I'm going to need you to let go of Connor for a second Troye." The nurse says and I hold on still.

"Hey its okay." Connor whispers to me. He puts his other hand on mine and I lightly let go.

"Thank you." She says and I nod I just crack my knuckles.

"Alright." She says and then that's the appointment.

"Um so Troye wanted to talk to you a bit. Maybe some help. Some suggestions." Connor says and I grab his hand and hold it in my lap. I hate talking.

"Yeah what is it Troye?" She asks and I shake my head and lower it.

"Tro I can't speak for you." Connor says and I nod and I close my eyes. Breath in and out. Just let it go. You need to. To get better.

"I...I'm depressed." I say quietly.

"Well how long? Do you know the reason?" She asks me and Connor rubs small circles into my hand.

"Since Connor was in the accident. It was Connor not remembering me. But he has been with me for almost 3 weeks and I have not gotten happier I don't understand." I say feeling a relief.

"Depression is very serious. Do you like burn or self harm?" She asks and I nod.

"I self harm badly. I also starve myself and I can't seem to eat. I eat and throw up. I can only eat some things like crackers." I say Connor putting g his head on my shoulder.

"Can I see your scars. Sometimes it helps to show your scars. It's a relief." The nurse says and I nod. I stand up and let go of Connors hand for a second.

"Who else knows?" She asks and I just point to Connor.

"And maybe Nicola Connors sister " I say and she nods. I slowly take my shirt off and she sighs.

"Alright I'm going to get a doctor." The nurse says and smiles.

"Oh..Okay."I say and she leaves and I run to Connor and hug him. I burry my face into his neck.

"I'm scared." I say still with my shirt off. He rubs small circles into my back.

"You dont have to be baby." Connor says and then the doctor enters. This is where I'm examined to tell me I need help. More than anyone can handle. 

"Hello Connor. Troye." The doctor says and I shiver.

"So I have been told you are suffering from depression, anxiety, self harm, and a eating disorder." The doctor says and I nod.

"May I see your scars?" He asks politely. I nod Connir stands up and holds my hand threw it all.

"When was the last time you cut. Be honest." The doctor says and I look at Connor.

"Um about 4 days ago." I say quietly looking down.  Connor didn't know that.

"I see. Any triggers why you do it?" He asks.

"Well when Connor was here for almost a year. I couldn't handle to be without him. I love him and I can't survive without him." I say and look down. 

"I see alright have a seat." The doctor says and then I sit down beside Connir dreading what he will say next.