Broken Foundations

Chapter 11~ Hard goodbye

Bismillah Rahman Raheem
In the name of Almighty Allah the beneficent, the merciful.

~

Ope do you know where Paradise is? Seun asked.

I don't know much but what I do know is that its up in the sky, I said pointing upwards. Why do you ask?

I have heard that its a good place, the best place actually and I want to go there. Not now! He said on seeing the look of bewilderment on my face.

They say if you are good, he continued. As in really really good. You don't lie, cheat,steal and pray to God you will go there that's why I try to be a good boy and I don't complain even if I am not happy because that place is a happy place.

Don't worry you will get everything you want and more. You will go there but not now, you can't leave me alone just continue being a good boy and you will go there, I said giving him a side hug.

Do you think mummy is there?, he asked.

Do you want mummy to be there? I gave him a side glance.

He looked deep in thought for a moment. No, he said sheepishly. She always yells at me and I don't want her to be in my happy place.

Do you want me there?

Yes, he hugged me tightly. You will do my assignments and take care of me.

Its nice to know that you only want me there because you want a personal maid, I chuckled.

No, he shook his head in protest, its mostly because I love you.

You don't love mummy?

I don't want to answer that question, he said turning away from me with a frown on his face.

Its okay don't answer the question even I wouldn't know the answer to that question if I was asked.
I hugged him from behind, I love you don't forget that.

And I love you a million times more.

I sobbed recalling the memory i hope you are there now, I tried to muffle my sobs.

Ope! Calm down, Fariha said frantically trying to calm me down.

The doctor lied, I hate him! He told me that he was stabilized that he was going to get better  no he didn't
But he didn't, if he had tried his best Seun would have been here with me alive and healthy. Why did he lie to me?, why? I sobbed on her shoulders.

What did I do? What did I ever do? Am I that bad that no one wants to be around me. I agree I have sinned a lot but it doesn't warrant this sort of punishment.

It's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, Fariha tried to soothe me.

No it's not! No it's not I said my voice breaking.

Don't you get it " my brother is dead, my mother is dead, My father and brother left.
I am all alone and you tell me its going to be okay. No it's not I screamed.

Who's going to disturb me? Who's going to tell me not to be sad? Who's going to be there to catch me when I fall? Who!

Faith please stop, stop please, Fariha said her voice breaking.
You have to move on and be happy, he would have wanted you to be happy more than anything.

You don't get it do you? You have no siblings, I scoffed.
You want me to move on and forget someone that I have known for ten years of m...mmy life.
You just don't forget that you had a brother, you just don't forget ten years of your life because he has been there in every memory. You just don't, I sobbed loudly.
You don't move on, smile and pretend that they never existed.

He told me that he wanted to go to Paradise and that's why he always tried to be a good boy. He also told me to be happy because if I am sad there will be no one to keep him happy.
Self- conceited he was but he was also my brother, I cried softly.

Ssshhhh.....calm down, she said to me.

I want to cry, I want to cry so much that I will forget why I am crying.
This..... This ache right in my chest is suffocating me. Please let it stop, please I begged.

Cry, cry as much as you want, It will  ease the pain. "Relief emerges after distress" she chanted in my ear.

Salam alaykum!
Hope you enjoyed the chapter?
This chapter is in the memory of my best friend ( RIP)
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