Im Fine

i dont understand why

Don't ever cheat on someone who is in love with you. They will wake up in the middle of the night sobbing uncontrollably and screaming into their pillow praying to God that the pain will end soon. They will keep a trash can beside their bed at all times because the thought of you with someone else feels like their intestines  are eating away at each other to the point of vomiting up every lie you've ever told them. Do no cheat on someone who is in love with you. They will reminisce on every single thing you two did together and it will feel like a thousand claws scratching at their throat knowing they will never get to watch the stars with you again, or make you breakfast, or fall asleep next to your warmth. Don't cheat on someone who would give up their entire world just to see you smile for one second, because they will have a mental image of your smile playing on repeat inside their head and they'll have to fight with everything in them to not call you up so they can see it one last time. Do not cheat on someone who is in love with you. They will never be able to trust another soul ever again. Don't cheat on them, because that pain you are causing them is the most unbearable, agonizing feeling they will ever go through.

i read this and i started thinking....why? why is he still with me since he knows everything and he still loves me i don't understand why he still talks to me i don't understand why he still says i love you i don't understand why he still wants me to be his i don't understand why he still even wants me in his life at all i don't understand why he still cares for me after everything I've done i don't understand why he still tries to take care of me i don't understand why he still wants be to be his future wife i don't understand why he still wants me to have a future with him at all i just don't understand why or how he can still even call me his girlfriend at all what so ever i don't get i wish someone could explain this to me cause i just don't fucking get is and is tiring me apart inside