CHAOTIC CHATROOM!

Camping It Up (Pt. 1)

(A/N: Special thanks and shout-out to shadow_crow_44 for requesting/commenting this idea in my Chatroom Ideas in My Derpy Life part previously, it was a lot of fun to write. I've had to split this part into two chapters as it would be exceedingly long by itself, so don't worry, once you finish this one, there'll still be more to come, heh. It's in the works. Unfortunately, please just bear in mind I've lost my iPad this week as it died without warning, taking a crap ton of my data and story stuff with it (still trying to get over that), and my writing implement was it too, so I'm trying to find something else to write with, but updates will be delayed by that too. I can use my laptop but I'm a bit useless with the keyboard, as Ripples10660 and wolfkitten45 know from watching me attempt to write bits of this chapter over many Skype calls, heh. But yeah, despite all that negativity in my life right now, I hope you enjoy this little sparkle of light and humour that's come out of it and that it brightens your day somehow, even perhaps bringing a wide smile to your face. Enjoy my readers, and thanks for bearing with me this year, it means a lot to me <3)
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[Mark has entered the chatroom]
[Davido has entered the chatroom]
[Jack has entered the chatroom]
Davido: Oh jeez I thought for a sec just now Nick was crying
[Leather entered the chatroom]
Leather: I WAS NOT CRYING, I JUST LOST THE WIFI FOR A FEW MINUTES
Mark: Oh crap that would make anyone cry!
Leather: ...
Jack: Hey Nick, how's your face?
Leather: I hate you
Jack: But Cowman-
Davido: OKAY GUYS LET'S GO
Leather: Go where?
Davido: Y...you haven't packed?
Leather: GO. WHERE, David?
Jack: *happily* Camping of course!
Mark: Just picture us all, a happy bunch of pals, all hanging out together round the campfire and embracing nature!
Jack: Not to mention we'll all be sharing tents!
Leather: ... *slowly begins internal screaming*
David: Oh yeah, Nick; your brother's coming too
Leather: *internal screaming reaches inhuman pitches*
David: Let's go!
Jack: This is gonna be fun!
_Chatroom Disbanded_
•Mark activated wifi hotspot•
Mark: Hey all! Have we all got here safely?
Jack: Well, yeah, apart from Toxic shutting his tail in the car door by accident
Toxic: *primeval growling to self by nearby tree*
{Alex entered hotspot}
Alex: HI GUYS
{Leather entered hotspot}
Leather: You are all WAY too excited about this
Alex: :D friends!
Mark: :3
{David entered the hotspot}
David: Oh don't be such a sourpuss Leather. You only walked into a car door for God's sake
Nick: AND HIT MY FACE ON THE WINDOW
Toxic: PFFFFT
Jack: *bursts out laughing* I-I'm s-sorry I just couldn't k-keep it in X'D
Leather: *snaps* Not the only thing you haven't been able to keep in in the past
Toxic and Jack: *both shut up and go red*
David: *weary sigh* Excuse us a moment- *grabs Leather by the jacket collar and starts dragging him away*
Leather: Woah hey where are we-?
David: *cuts him off* Be quiet. If this trip is gonna work, you need to get some manners first of all...
Alex: *mutes Leather and David* *mutters absently* Thought I'd do us all a favour there... Not the first time that's happened.
Jack: *clears throat, looking round to the woods* Um, uh, should we put up the tents then?
Toxic: *nods* Yes, let's
Mark: *snorts in amusement at the fact Toxic's voice is an octave higher than usual*
Toxic: *grumpily* Shuddup Iplier
{Ian entered the hotspot}
Ian: Well as I can see that Toxicjack both already have bright red faces, Leather is being angrily pinned up against a tree in the distance by David and Alex is currently failing at putting up a tent by himself, this trip is already going great!
Alex: *yells out whilst repeatedly poking self in face with a tent pole in an attempt to slot it inside another* IAN!
{Derp entered the hotspot}
Derp: Guys...I've forgotten how to technology
Ian: *stares at him sitting on a log watching a snail in amazement* and apparently how to 'nature' too it seems
Derp: *leans down and smiles at the snail* Hello Snail-Friend... *the snail retracts its eyes in irritation as he breathes heavily on them* *eyes widen* IAN ITS FACE DISAPPEARED!
Ian: *snorts whilst helping Alex untangle himself from tent strings* That's nice Derp
Leather: *approaches Alex and stands over him, watching him grow tangled up again in sadistic amusement*
Ian: *looks up at him with one eyebrow raised* Don't you have somebody else to go terrorise?
Leather: *in a whiny tone* David won't let me
David: *meets his eyes from across their site and narrows his a little*
Leather: *gulps* I-I mean, I'll go put up a tent *walks hurriedly to their car*
Ian: *laughing silently to himself*
Alex: *blinks* What's so funny?
Ian: His face is still bruised
Alex: Oh
Jack: *turns round at the mention of this and grins in amusement also*
Toxic: *looks down at phone screen* Shall we turn our phones off until we've put these up, otherwise we're never gonna get this done
Ian: Agreed *looks up* DERP! Stop poking the snail!
Derp: *panicky* ITS EYES WON'T COME BACK IAN! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Ian: *heavy sigh* Be right back Alex
Leather: *opens up tent bag and doesn't realise it's a pop up tent* *the tent explodes out of the bag and slams him full on in the face* $!%#!!! *clutches face in agony, other colourful words issuing from his mouth* RRRRRRGH
David: *lightly hitting head against a nearby tree* Nevermind, this was a terrible idea...
*a few hours later*
Jack: *snuggled up by campfire with Toxic, a bag of marshmallows ready beside him* Y'know what I want for Christmas Tox?
Toxic: Mm?
Jack: *smiles widely* A really powerful megaphone
Toxic: *eyes widen* Uh, Jack-
David: *checks phone and sees many messages from Leather*
L: David
L: David
L: DAVID
L: David the tent is leaking
L: David help
L: David I'm cold
L: David I don't like this
L: David plz
L: Answer
L: Alex is being annoying
L: Plz
David: *rolls eyes and pockets phone once again*
Alex: *wriggles into sleeping bag* This is nice, isn't it Nick?
Leather: *rocking in corner* I can practically feel the parasites beginning to climb into me
Alex: Don't be silly, here, c'mon, we can go look at the stars together outside
Leather: *bolts out of the tent suddenly*
Alex: *eyes widen* ...Blimey he was eager.
Ian: *sitting cross legged by the fire as Derp chops firewood behind him* *puts hands out to fire* I like this
Derp: *vision starting to go red from chopping so violently*
Mark: *walks up to him to say something, then notices his eyes starting to twitch and walks a long way around him* Uh, Ian, maybe you should-
Ian: *stands up* OKAAAAY Derp that's enough!
David: *gets knocked off feet suddenly by a blur of red T-Shirt and brown hair* GAH-!
Leather: DAVID I CAN'T TAKE THIS PLACE ANYMORE
David: NICK YOU'RE BEING HYSTERICAL
Alex: *pokes head out of tent* This is going well...
Jack: *sighs heavily* Well, I didn't want to have to do this but, TOX!
Toxic: *stands up and stands to attention* Yes Jackaboy?
Jack: Go fetch the alcoholic beverages m'boy
Toxic: *salutes* Yes sir!
*everyone's heads snap round*
Leather: Alcohol?
David: *head falls back against the grass* Thank God, something can shut him up finally
Mark: *points up whilst reading a handbook on 'how to survive your friends and the wilderness'* I can think of several ways you could shut him up
David: *eyes him menacingly* Don't even, go there.
Alex: Hehehe
Leather: *batting hand uselessly against David's face* David senpai plz
David: *unamused facial expression* Nick I swear to God...
Toxic: *swoops back in and jams a bottle into Nick's hands* Lid off, bottle back, drink down.
Leather: But-
Toxic: STOP BEING A WHINY BITCH AND DRINK IT FOR EVERYONE'S SANITY ON THIS TRIP!
Leather: *shoots him a glare, then pops off the lid and downs a few gulps*
David: *sits down in relief*
Jack: *crosses arms with a smug expression*
Derp: *grins* Ian I found Snail-Friend again
Ian: *eyes widen* Uh oh, Derp, I think we need to have a little talk about nature and how to treat it well- *turn round* DERP STOP POKING ITS EYES!
Derp: *looks up at him* But he likes it Ian, really he does!
Ian: ...
Derp: He's dancing!
Ian: HE IS NOT DANCING HE IS TRYING TO CRAWL AWAY FROM YOU DAMMIT
Leather: *stares at the now empty bottle before turning it upside down and putting it on his head with a stupid grin on his face*
Toxic: *sits down on floor beside Jack* *sighs* Who's idea was this again?
Mark: *looks up from a chapter named 'How to survive any drunken, insane colleagues on vacation'* *shrugs nonchalantly* Pssh, how should I know?
Ian: *trying to wrestle Derp away from the snail*
Derp: SNAIL-FRIEND LOVE ME!
Jack: *slowly starts tugging the bag of marshmallows over to him*
Toxic: No.
Jack: But marshmallows-
Toxic: But no.
Leather: *gets up and tries to hug David lazily* Have I ever mentioned how much I *hic* love you?
David: Get off me you creep *still unamused*
Leather: *goofy grin* But I love youuuuuu~
David: *scowls* Ew *shoves him away* Freaking lightweight
Ian: Pfft
Mark: *turns to page named 'How to dispose of said friends in secret'* *blinks, then looks up* I'm beginning to question how beneficial this book actually is to me
Ian: *sighs* Is there a chapter in there on how to stop your friends harassing the wildlife?
Mark: *flicks through* There's a couple on how to stop your friends holding cows hostage
Ian: *looks blankly at Derp nudging the snail's shell with his nose* wtf...
Leather: *starts flailing hand on David's face* Love meeeeeee
David: *growls* I will slap you
Alex: *suddenly runs out of tent, cannoning into Jack, grabbing the bag of marshmallows and tries to retreat back to the tent*
Jack: NO *grabs his ankle* MY MALLOWS
Alex: *hisses at him, clutching the bag tighter*
Jack: *growls* NO
Alex: LET ME GO
Derp: *suddenly stands on top of the log* IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOO!~
Ian: *facepalms*
David: *shoves Nick away* Toxic; alcohol, please.
Toxic: Why?
David: DON'T QUESTION ME OKAY IT'S EITHER ALCOHOL OR SUGAR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO COMPLETELY INSANE!
Alex: *drops bag and runs off*
Jack: *barks after him*
Toxic: *stares at him* Jack...what even?
Jack: THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE SACRED OKAY!
Leather: *trying to hug David still*
David: Stop.
Leather: No.
Alex: *crawls into sleeping bag and curls into a ball* I want mallows. I want mallows. *starts drawing a master plan down on how to obtain the mallows with scary eyes*
David: *stares at the bottle* I thought this trip was gonna be fun
Mark: *now reading 'how to have sex in a sleeping bag'* Yeah, me too. Too bad Warf couldn't come.
Ian: *eyes him suspiciously* Why...?
Derp: *looks over Mark's shoulder* Ian, what's a-
Ian: *eyes widen* DERP LOOK, A SNAIL!
Derp: *whips round* WHERE WHERE?!
Ian: *hisses to Mark* CLOSE THE BOOK CLOSE THE BOOK
Mark: But this is interesting!
Ian: *unamused face* Are you actually kidding me right now-?
Alex: *runs past behind Jack and Toxic before diving behind a tree beside them*
Derp: *starts wandering towards the woods* Snaaaaails, snaaaaailsssss~
David: That's slightly creepy
Ian: Derp no! There might be an axe murderer in these woods or something!
Leather: *halfway through drinking another bottle* *spits it out* WHAT?! *wipes mouth* You said that casually! *sarcastically* Good luck sleeping tonight!
Derp: *stops before turning round creepily* Nothing out there can be scarier than me Ian...~
Mark: *sits up a little* Apart from maybe, I dunno, bears and wolves-
Derp: *mimes hand gesture downwards in feigned nonchalance* Psshh
Mark: With hats on!
Derp: *hides behind Ian*
Ian: ... *no comment*
Mark: Like, a wolf, but with a particularly scary fez on *chuckles*
Jack: OH GOD
David: *rolls eyes and drinks again, bored out of his mind* What even guys?
Toxic: *looks round at everyone* There's gotta be something we can do that suits everyone *looks at Jack and Alex fighting over the marshmallows again, growling at eachother* Without it resulting in death *pulls them apart before bumping their heads together hard* Will you cut it out you two?!
Derp: *giggles a little, resting his chin on Ian's shoulder*
Ian: *yawns and stretches* What do you suggest we do then?
Alex: *bites at the bag*
Jack: *jumps on him*
Leather: *trying to give David sloppy kisses*
David: *trying to push him away* I swear to god Nick-
Leather: *drinking more* BUT I LOVE YOU DAVID
David: *glaring daggers at Jack* You'd better hope you don't wake up dead tomorrow Septic
Jack: *pauses in his growling at Alex* O_O
Derp: *tickling Ian* WHY DON'T WE DO CAMPFIRE STORIES?!
Ian: *falls on floor laughing* Derp no stop please- heehee
Mark: *smiles a little at them, then hears his stomach growl* Well...I'm hungry. Anyone else for food? I brought some stuff with me. Sausages, burgers, bacon, etc
Derp: *leaps on him* BACON
Mark: *laughs* Alright Derp alright!
-A little while later after dinner-
Alex: *slowly takes a marshmallow at the same time Jack does*
Jack: *never relinquishes his gaze on Alex's*
Alex: *growls*
Jack: *growls back*
Leather: *chucks a can drunkenly at Alex* Will you two stop?!
Alex: *throws a marshmallow at him* You stop first! These mallows are sacred and deserve to be treated as so!
Leather: *exasperated sigh and rolls eyes* Get a room at least, or a tent, then, will you?
Toxic: *shoots jealous glare at the marshmallow bag and then at Jack* No, he sleeps with me only.
Mark: *snorts*
David: *snoring in Nick's lap*
Derp: *looking at them with kawaii eyes* So romantic...~
Ian: *watches David start to dribble a little* Yes Derp...uh, very...romantic.
Leather: *picks David up and hugs him tightly* I wuv wu
David: *continues to snore*
Leather: *burps*
Ian: Alright guys *sits down on a rug and crosses legs, warming hands by the campfire* Who has a spooky story?
Mark: *dozing and drinking* Not sure. I think I do
Leather: *perks up* Wait wait wait!!! I am the champion of spooky stories! Lemme- *burp* tell one!
Jack: *being dragged away by Toxic to sit in his lap* *growls, flailing at Alex who now has the marshmallows*
Toxic: *pinching the bridge of his nose with his talons* I swear I'm about this close to setting that bag on fire guys
Ian: *looks at Nick* What's your story then?
Leather: *pulls David closer to him, then narrows his eyes* Well... I have many...y'see...
Mark: Pick one then.
Derp: As long as there are no hats on bears and stuff in it
Ian: *rolls eyes* I worry about you sometimes Derp.
David: *sudden loud snore*
Jack: *now stubbornly strapped down in Toxic's lap by his wings*
Leather: *clears throat* Okay, now... *gets out a torch and places it under his chin to give his face a ghostly effect* Once upon a time, there was a guy. His name was Jeff-
Mark: Boring! We know that one! Jeff the Killer, right?
Leather: *unamused face* Well...fair enough, I suppose he's very well known. But... Anyways... *clears throat again* Okay then. There once was a haunted video game named, Majora's Mask...
Jack: Oo oo! I know that one too! Ben Drowned, right?
Leather: *displeased face* I goddamn tried. *chucks torch at Mark* I've done my bit. Now to get this one to *hic* bed *picks up David lazily and not-so-soberly stumbles over to their tent*
Alex: *has face buried in the bag of marshmallows* MM, I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE EUPHORIA COMING FROM ALL THIS SUGAR!
Ian: *stares at him, then looks to Derp, holding up a bottle* *weakly* More beer?
Derp: *nods before taking it from him solemnly* I believe so my dear SSundee.
Mark: Well... *straightens back* Here's one that Warf told me a while ago... *shines the torch beneath his face and deepens his voice in a sinister way* So there's this girl driving along the I-70 on the way back to Colorado after visiting her relatives in Illinois. It's about 1:00 am and it starts raining when she realises that she's almost out of gas. She sees a sign for a gas station about 3 miles ahead and breathes a sigh of relief. But when she gets there she sees it's one of those old run down family-owned gas stations...
Derp: *waves fingers about a bit in a mocking way* Ooo, scaaaaarryyy~
Mark: *stares at him briefly, then continues, speaking slowly for effect, making every word as meaningful as a breath drawn in from a deathly poison* She's scared to stop but she really has no other choice... As she pulls in an old man with a disfigured face comes running over to her through the rain. He puts the pump in the tank and asks for her credit card. She hands it to him over the top of the window and he runs back inside...
Toxic: *looks down at Jack, then back at Mark, raising his eyebrows a little sceptically* Okay...
Jack: *draws knees to chest, pulling his wings closer around him* Go on Markimoo...
Toxic: *sets jaw, trying not to show his very easily provoked jealousy around Jack*
Jack: *darts his eyes up to him, smirking faintly* I mean, Mark.
Toxic: *'hmphs' softly, but lets it slide*
Mark: *grins* Very well, Jackaboy, I shall... *starts using his other hand with subtle movements to enunciate and emphasise upon the actions of the characters in his story* After a few seconds he comes back out and tells the girl she will have to come inside, her card has been denied... Reluctantly, she does so. The old man grabs her suddenly though and tries to tell her something but she hits him with a can of oil sitting on the counter!
Derp: *small gasp*
Ian: *smirks to himself to the side of him, having heard it*
Mark: *bows head, his glittering brown eyes only just visible beneath his brows and above his glasses, which catch the shimmering, restless light ps of the campfire flames with every movement, their vivid colours like dancing souls in the dead of night* She runs back to her car and takes off with the old man screaming and flailing his arms at her. After driving for a few miles she turns on the radio and starts to relax...
Alex: *lets the bag slowly drop from his face, gaze now transfixed upon Mark in fascination as he soon comes to the climax of his story* Oh...?
Mark: As she looks in the rear-view mirror, she sees someone pop up in the back seat holding an axe above their head. It's the last thing she ever sees... *grins widely, baring fire-lit teeth in a gruesome snarl* Apparently, the old man at the gas station was just trying to warn her...but she had already sealed her own fate.
Jack: *eyes widen* Woah...
Toxic: *flicks his tail a little* Well...I guess that was good...
Mark: *turns torch off* Whaddya mean you guess it was good?! It was certainly better than Nick's Creepypasta crap!
Leather: *from inside their tent* I heard that!
Toxic: *snorts* Whatever, it was good.
Mark: *crosses his arms grumpily*
Jack: *looks thoughtful, then perks up* Oo, oo, I got one! I got one! *gets a torch to the face* AUGH! Markimoo why?!
Mark: Hmph.
Toxic: *picks the torch up and places it in Jack's hand* Go on Sean.
Jack: *smiles and adjusts the torch before placing it beneath his face as Mark did* Uh...okay then...
-In the tent-
David: *curled up in his sleeping bag*
Nick: *grumbling to himself* Stoopid Markiplier, thinks his stupid stories make him so much better than me... *looks over at David*
David: *snuffles a little in his sleep, nestling down more into his pillow in peaceful slumber*
Nick: *allows a small smile to twitch up onto his face as he watches him* Hm... *lies down on his side on top of his sleeping bag before closing his eyes*
-Back at the fire-
Jack: *knits his bushy eyebrows together, grinning maliciously* Well... Once there was a young woman who had a child, but couldn't afford to take care of it by herself, so she put a blue baby bonnet on its head and carried it two miles from her house and left it in the woods...
Ian: Damn, y'all mothers need childcare.
Derp: Or babycare.
Mark: Baby oil-
Jack: SHUSSSSSH. *cross face* *clears throat* Okay... As she began to walk home she heard... *slowly puts on a raspy, high-pitched sing-song voice* "Blue Baby Bonnet One Mile Away~"...
Toxic: *looks at him*
Jack: *laughs evilly to himself under his breath* As she reaches her home she hears...
"Blue Baby Bonnet, Still One Mile Away~"...
Ian: *shuffles a little closer to Derp* Derp, I- *looks at him* DERP LEAVE THE GODDAMN SNAIL ALONE!
Derp: *rapidly retracts his hand to his side fearfully* Alright alright you don't have to shout at me!
Jack: *plainly ignores them and simply continues on* As she sits in her living room to read a book, she hears... "Blue Baby Bonnet, Coming Up the Driveway~"
Mark: *chin in his hand as he listens*
Alex: *curled up at Jack's feet scoffing more marshmallows*
Jack: *tilts head to one side, grinning creepily* She runs upstairs in fear...and as she sits on her bed, she hears, "Blue Baby Bonnet, Standing At Your Door~" *leans forward* She hides under the bed, and hears...
Ian and Derp: *both tense up*
Mark: *brows rise a little*
Jack: "Blue Baby- BOO!" *yells at top of his lungs whilst simultaneously leaping forward with hands outstretched in a wicked, claw-like manner*
Toxic: *starts and falls back off the log* AH SHIT-!
Alex: *darts up in terror and nearly falls in the campfire* AUGH! *grips his heart* Goddamnit Jack you scared the shit outta me!
Mark: *breathing quickly* *laughs* That, that was good!
Toxic: *legs draped over the log and wings uncomfortably splayed out in a weird position beneath him* Nngh, ugh, Jack why?!
Jack: *cackling cheekily to himself*
Ian: *grins* nice one Irishman. You had us there.
Alex: *now hiding behind Mark* Damn... I think it's time I went to bed... *little sigh of exasperation and weak laugh*
Jack: *grins guiltily* Sarry!
-In the tent-
Alex: *nestles self down comfortable in between Nick and David, yawning before reaching up above him and turning the torchlight out*
...
Nick: ....I'm cold
Alex: Oh goddamnit Nick why-?!