Reminding Tales (Destiel AU)

9. Dewy Smiles

// Castiel

Morning sunlight found it's way through the half-closed blinds in Castiel's room and he became aware of the overheating of his legs where the light was hitting. Internally cursing the sun, Castiel moved his legs, trying to escape the unwanted heat when his knee hit something solid. It was then he noticed the weight of someone's arm draped across his waist and the soft breath hitting his forehead.

He quickly opened his eyes and was met with dozens of freckles scattered across Dean's face. His eyelashes fanned peacefully against his cheeks; mouth slightly opened into a pout. Castiel was at a loss for words.

All form of fatigue quickly left his body and he found himself become more intrigued with the image before him. Everything was quiet, minus the sound of birds singing outside, and he felt so at home. Yes, of course because he was in his house and this was his bed, but he had always felt so alone before; always reaching out to the opposite side of the bed; always looking for something- someone that wasn't there. Now he had this strange feeling in his chest and it hurt.

Castiel couldn't stop himself from smiling. He didn't know why he was this happy. He didn't have any of his memories back. He didn't have any knowledge of his first kiss with Dean or when Dean proposed or when he was in the accident. Dean was practically a stranger to him. He should be panicking.

But Dean was opening his eyes and the pain was only getting worse. Green met blue and all the world's problems were solved when Dean smiled. It was such a soft smile, almost nothing, but it made Castiel's chest tighten and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"Morning." Dean whispered.

"Hi." he replied in the same tone.

The arm around his waist tightened and he was brought closer to Dean's chest. Castiel's head fit itself underneath Dean's chin and placed his hands on his chest by default and stared at the gray fabric of Dean's shirt. He smelled like one of those car refresheners; not the kind that make your head hurt, but the subtle kind, that you don't really notice until you've gotten used to it.

And Castiel could get used to this.

"I'm sorry." Dean said, breaking the small silence. "For not telling you right away." Castiel hummed and slowly moved his thumb back and forth across Dean's chest. He knew he couldn't just forgive him so easily, but part of him wanted to.

"How did it happen?" He found himself asking. He felt Dean's arm tense around his waist.

"Cas, I-,"

"Dean...I need to know." Castiel pressed. "If we're really going to try and start over I at least need to know how and why I lost my memory." He moved both his thumbs in circles to help Dean relax. The arm around his tense loosened slightly and Dean inhaled.

"I wasn't there when it happened," he began, rubbing his own circles into Castiel's side. "You were at your um, bachelor party, and I just got a call you were in an accident. I got to the hospital as quickly as I could but they wouldn't let me see you. Only one of your friends were there and I asked what happened. He told me everything was going fine, you hadn't drank too much and I guess I forgot milk or something so you went yourself...it's all my fault."

"Dean no." Castiel's hands curled into fists into Dean's shirt and he moved back to look at him. "Do not blame yourself for what happened to me. It's not your fault. It was nobody's fault, okay?"

Dean's eyes were watering and he wasn't looking at him, choosing to focus on the wall behind them. Castiel placed a hand on Dean's chin and lowered his head.

"Hey...it's okay. I'm here and I'm okay, for the most part anyway, but you're here too." He smiled softly at him. "We're here together and we'll fix this. I want this to work out, Dean. I really do."