I want to become an all around artist.
We currently live in this generation where people no longer go to school to learn how art. Some do. Others teach themselves.
I had a discussion with a friend the other day about how people would always ask him where he went to school to take such rad pictures and he would tell them all the same thing: he didn't. He learned by trials and errors and teaching himself to perfect his craft.
People tend to look down at the arts but nowadays we are embracing and inhabiting the arts in all types of places!
Ever since I was younger, I always wanted to dance. I finally got to make that true even though when it came true I was given the roles or parts or choreography I wanted to do because I was looked down upon because of my body type, my technique... That hurt me and my dream of dancing. But something I always did was make the most of it. If I was in the back, I made sure I was seen all the way from the back of the audience. It's been nearly 3/4 of a year since I danced on stage. Just a few days ago, I spent so much time doing improv in the fit room that I felt alive again. I was smitten. It was like giving birth. You go through and the tight and tough pain but then everything loosens up and goes back to where you left you in the beginning.
Acting didn't became something I wanted to do until prior to starting high school. Because when I pulled up old Disney DVDs in my parents' basement and began to watch my old childhood movies, I felt like a kid again. I wanted to be those characters. I recited their lines every time, I sung the songs, I used to spend late nights just rocking out to Disney soundtracks. And prior to that, I had a plethora of favorite films going up and I always wanted to be in them as an extra main character in addition to the storyline. I was always fond of the idea of being able to play or pretend to be someone else. Not in a real life state, but in a way of performing. Like imitating their thoughts, their emotions, their lines, their words. Being able to step into someone's shoes and be them, become them for a duration of time bringing a story or plot together to life and going on a... spiritual-like journey as that character. Now that I'm the lead of a short film coming up, I get to do that, I get to finally do that. Now, I'm not at all concerned about being the lead. I'm more concerned along the lines of becoming the character, bringing her to life and conveying her deepest emotions. I feel like I do connect with her because in a way I believe in myself as the character relating to some of her experiences but still there's more deeper to her than what's in the script.
Music. Music has always been a part of my life. Whether if it was listening to old school rap music in the car with my father or repeating listening to the same sad medley from a motion picture soundtrack score, music has always been prominent in who I am. I didn't take playing an instrument so seriously when I was being taught. At first, I only joined orchestra because it was required and because for my friends at the time. But knowing that I enjoyed listening to orchestral music, but always fucked around playing it... years later, who would have thought I wanted to do it again. I hope to be able to teach and reteach myself how to play some instruments that a lot of people spent years upon years practicing to play. Music feeds the soul, and I guess it's time for me to feed myself with it.
Same with music comes singing. If a young teacup plans to go on Broadway, she has to learn how to sing. And for the past few months, a lot of people have told me that singing just requires warming up the voice as though it is sustained talking *The Music Man*. I do like to sing my favorite songs. And I love singing them HORRIBLY too, but... it'd be nice to go the fuck OFF and sing like Mariah or Whitney or Beyonce...
Writing.
Writing has been something that's so therapeutic it's almost like a drug. It's saved my life for years from time to time so writing out my visuals, scenarios, stories, etc. have helped me cleared my mind. And I'm always thinking of new stories to tell. I believe having them written and then making them in something in motion is what'll help me succeed. Especially in this life, especially in this major.
Which brings me to: Film, Directing, Choreography, Screenplay, Script Writing, etc.
Film and television have always been important factors in my life that have inspired me in many ways possible. And it never occurred to me to be able to direct and create the vision I want to create. Same goes with choreographing for dances.
So... I believe if I contribute to each element of the art there is... I'll be happy doing what I truly love. *I know I left out drawing/painting/hands on crafting. I like to collage. So that works for moodboards and hopeful I'm able to create a storyboard one day or take a class upon it*. But... if I keep doing what I love. Dancing, filming myself dancing, choreographing a dance I created, singing while dancing, directing a show where there's singing and dancing, directing a show I wrote where there's singing and dancing and flamboyant performances, imagery, and visuals making the vision I created into a reality.
I'll be happy as the artist I strive to be.
