Thorns (Sequel to A Dozen Roses)

Chapter 18 Just A Kid

Chapter 18
Ty POV

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!" My hands are covered in blood, most of it is not mine.

It's Seto's, it's all his. I didn't mean for it to happen, we were just playing. Training, playing. Same thing. Synonyms.

"What the hell do you mean you didn't mean to! He wasn't breathing you imbecile! What the fuck would you do if I wasn't here? He'd be dead!"

I stumble back my body shaking and I fall to the floor. He keeps coming closer and I have to scoot away.

"I swear it was an accident! We were just practicing sir." The blood on my hand isn't mine, we were just playing. Training. Synonyms.

Ghost has blood on his hands, it's not his own. It's mine. It's from pulling me off of Seto. I look down at my hands furiously trying to clean the blood off by wiping it on my jeans. But it never works.

He turns his back to me and kneels back next to Seto. He's bleeding and breathing heavy. He's bleeding, the blood is on my hands. It's not my blood

We were playing. Training. Synonyms.

I didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident I swear. He wanted to spar with us, I shouldn't have been so rough.

But then again it wasn't me. It was Deadlox. He's the monster, not me. He's the murderer not me. He's the one who does these things, not me.

Except he really is me.

I've locked myself in the bathroom with my back pressed against the door. They said they were going to take him to the hospital, but I know he's lying on the dining room table.

He was just a kid.

The blood on my hands isn't my own, it's Seto's. I violently shake my head. It's not Seto's, it's his sons. It's Isaac.

He's been trained, he wanted to spar with us. He beat Adam like it child's play, because it was child's play. He had grown up like me, fighting was playing. Training, playing, synonyms.

He asked to fight me. I said he wasn't ready, but he insisted. He was the top of his class, so I gave in. I said we could fight.

I should have said no.

I should have told him to wait until he was older and stronger. I should have stopped myself.

Standing up shakily I turn the shower on full blast and step into it, fully clothed. I can't tell if the waters cold or hot, I just stare at the blood running off my arms. Claw marks dug into my arms sting under the water.

I grabbed a bottle of body wash and pour as much of it into my hand as I can before it flows between my fingers. I scrub down my entire body, hands shaking the entire time.

My skins red from scrubbing so hard and the boiling water when I step out. I grab a towel and dry myself off slowly refusing to look at myself in the foggy mirror.

When I do look in the mirror I don't see myself. I see Deadlox at age 13 blood running down his face. I reach up to wipe it away but there's nothing there.

"You didn't mean too." I whisper looking down. I pry off my soaking wet clothes and hang them over the edge of the shower wrapping the towel back around myself.

"What the hell were you thinking! He's just a kid!" Im on my back the blood all over me, it's Brice screaming. He and Kyle pulled me off of Isaac.

The kid was curled into a ball in the floor his hands over his stomach. Blood is flowing between his fingers, and his face is bruised badly.

My entire being is telling me to shove Brice away from me and finish the job. I have to remind myself he's my nephew and he's just a kid.

I step out of the bathroom and cross the hall into my bedroom. I lock the door and drop the towel grabbing a clean set of clothes from the closet. It's simple black jeans, and my white v-neck. I stare at myself in the mirror.

"You never meant to do it." I whisper running my fingers threw my hair so I could see my red eye. Sometimes I forget it's here but I never forget that I'm blind in that eye. Most people do because I basically grew up with it.

I laid down on my back on my bed and pulled the pillow over my head. I want to induce myself into sleep but my mind is reeling.

Seto held me against the wall by my throat. It was months after he was healed up and able to fight again. I was still only a kid but he made sure I knew he was stronger than me.

"You tried to kill me you know." He said calmly reaching out to push my bangs out of my eyes. "I could have bled out because of you and that dirty little pocket knife you carry. Hand it over." I furiously shook my head.

"No! It's mine! You can't have it." I struggled digging my nails into his wrist. He scoffed and dropped me.

"Fine keep it. But if you ever hurt me again with it, you'd better hope and pray I don't get my hand on that knife because I will end you." He shoved me to the floor and walked out of the room leaving me trembling on the floor.

The pocket knife was in my hand. It has blood on it. It wasn't my blood. I didn't want this knife anymore. But I couldn't throw it away.

I crossed the room and knelt down under my desk prying up the floor board. Underneath lay a small wooden box, which was mostly empty besides an old zippo lighter, a scrap of fabric, a fake police badge, a few photos, and now the bloody knife. I stowed the box away and put the floor board back.

Part of me wanted to hide myself under the floor board with the knife but the other part of me knew I needed to go out and do more than apologize and try to fix this some how.

"Don't be a monster." I whisper to myself, "You can fix this. Don't be Deadlox, it's time to be Ty."