Chapter 5

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About an hour later Jaren's still in Jail and I'm sitting in the lobby waiting for my mother to sign release papers, since Im only seventeen they couldnt hold me. Aparently Jaren was detained for resisting arrest and questioning. I didn't know when he would get out. I frantically called and texted his phone and his family members phone and got no response. I've cried myself to sleep and haven't been able to sleep for the last 3 nights. I needed to know if he was ok, I needed him.

On Tuesday morning I ran into Lorna in the hall at school. She's pretty and whole lotta crazy. If I had any room for a bff besides Jaren she'd be it. We haven't hung out a whole lot or anything but we were close at school. I had only  hung out with Jaren and his friends. He was my world. As I'm getting my lab notes out of my locker Lorna leans against the locker next to me. "Hey chickie, why you look so down, I'd figured you'd be ecstatic now that your mans out of lock up." That's when my heart stopped. "No, he's not" "Well I may not know whats going on around me most of the time but you know I can spy a fine peice of meat anywhere" chuckling she nudges my shoulder with hers and I drop everything. I watch as my lab notes, my bag, everything are hitting the floor. I cant catch my breath and my chest tightens. "Where?" is the only word I can get out. "I was eating with my dad and step wanna be number 2 at Delandas when him and his mom came in to eat" Delandas is one of the fanciest and most expensive resturaunts in town. You have to have reservations for weeks before you can get in. Unless you have a big name like Lorna and Jaren. Jare's taken me there quite a few times, always made me feel very special but I preffered it when we cooked our meals together or grabbed takeout and vegged out in front of tv. Which we did most of the time. Leaning my head against the locker I try catching my breath. I feel sick. I feel the need to throw up the little I have eaten the last three days. Why didnt he call me? "Spencer are you all right you dont look so good" "yeah I'm fine, Ive gotta go, thanks" "Oh my god he didnt tell you did he?" Lorna asks squatting down I pick up my books. "Its ok Spence Im sure theres a good reason for it. Why dont you go see him and call me later" "Yeah thanks Im just gonna go now" and thats when I ran down the hall and out to the parking lot.

It should've taken 15 minutes to arrive at his front door but I had my white 2013 Shelby Mustang floored and made it there in 7. Running up the drive I use my key to get in all I see in the entrance way are suites. Made men , I've seen them a few times since I've been practically living with Jaren but never as many. As I'm looking around one of the suites stops me  "What the hell are you doing here Ms. Parks?" I recognized him he was one of Caroline's body gaurds. His name is Shane. He's pretty hot, blonde hair, and big muscles around 30 years old. Hes not as hot as Jaren but pretty cute for an older guy. "Where's Jaren? Im looking for Jaren" Looking at him with as much irritation I can while trying to hide my fear.  Jaren said never show your fear. I dont think I'll ever master it like him but I try. Because these guys are scary, like piss your pants scary. For real, like they kill people for a living. "Your not wanted here" huh? did he just say Im not wanted here? Confused and seriously pissed. How dare he? I'm Jarens amore mio everyone's known that for years. Hoping he doesnt see the slight tremble I look around his big 6'5 frame and see Jaren standing there and wearing a suite. Thats odd he never wears suites. Jaren was mr GQ. He's all about looking good. He took just as long on his appearance if not more than me. But he hated suites. I think it had to do with the fact that he didnt really want to become a made man. But all I can think of is how good he looks and how much I've missed him. I've got to be in his arms. And like I said before my crazy takes over and Im pushing Shane with all my might. He actually stumbles away from me. In 0.2 seconds I've thrown myself on Jaren and wrapped my legs around his waist holding on for dear life. And thats when I let go sobbing and  digging my face into his neck telling him how much Ive missed him. I'm wrapped around him a total of 30 seconds when I notice how tense and rigid he is and he's actually trying to pry my arms from around his neck. Not thinking I start to squeeze him tighter, moaning "Nooo" into his neck. I mean I realize I've probably made a spectacle in front of all his dad's made killer friends but he's just gonna have to deal with it! I havent seen him for three days and the last time I did we were both being taken out in handcuffs. Thats when my world came tumbling all around me leaving me in shit. Grabbing my arms He's squeezing them so hard I cry out in pain "OW Jare that hurts!" and then as hes yelling "Get the Fuck off ME!" I'm being thrown to the floor so stunned my feet don't catch me and I hit the floor on my back as my head hits the marble tile. Excruciating pain runs through the back of my head as I roll on my side trying to catch my breath. I feel Jarens hands cradling my head feeling around for bumps and blood I'm sure. A blurry shadow asks "Fuck Spencer, are you ok" when it finally goes back to normal and the pain in my head becomes a dull ache and I finally choke out "Why" through my sobs.  I try to sit up and pull down my dress thats bunched up over my waist giving everyone in the room a peek at my ass and thong, he grabs my arms trying to help me when I jerk away. Looking at him I could see a flinch and then slides into his cool calm cold facade. "Why are you here Spencer?" Spencer, not princess, or spence, bella, or my favorite "amore mio". Just Spencer. That hurts. Ignoring my heart breaking I manage a whisper "What do you mean why am I here?" Hissing through his teeth "Dont you think you and your whore of a mother have done enough? Did you come here to see if you destroyed my family? I always knew your mom was a decieving whore who'd fuck anything and anyone to get what she wanted but I thought you were different! Your no better than she is. The apple doesnt fall from the tree does it Spencer? Stay the fuck away from my family you little whore and definitely stay the fuck away from me! You disgust me and make my skin crawl! If I see you in the future walk as far away from me as possible or I may actually kill you! And believe me when I say it would give me nothing but great pleasure to choke the life out of you!" as every word he spews I can see the hate in his eyes. what did I do but be loyal and faithful and love him since I was 10 years old? Floored and confused I manage to look at him with all the love in me hoping he can see it and choke out "Jare what do you think I did? You've known me since Ive been 10 years old, do you think I could ever hurt you or your family? Hurt you without hurting a part of myself?" he spits back "Your such a lying coniving little bitch. God am I glad I see your true colors now, stop looking at me like you love me if you did you wouldn't have done what you did! Atleast have some fucking guts for once Spencer. Atleast own up and take responsibility for once in your miserable life. I'm not gonna be there to solve all your pathetic problems. Thank God! Your patheticness has been wearing on me for a while now and I'm tired of taking care of you. Have a nice life and stop whoring it doesnt suit you. well mabey again it does you are your mothers child"
I realize I have let him take care of me but for him to act like it wasn't what he wanted? He said I was his treasure. His love. He treated me like his princess. It was always us, partners, lovers, and bestfriends. he thought I was pathetic like my mother? A whore? He's the only man I've ever been with. My chest feels like its caving in and my heart is breaking in two and now Im pissed. Straightening my dress and standing up with as much grace and confidence I could muster at this point looking him dead in the face "Just tell me what the fuck you think I did so I can walk the fuck out of here and never lay eyes on your face again" Flinching with each word, I revilled in how good and awful it felt to know I atleast hit him with my words. When alI I really wanted to do was get down on my knees and beg and plead for him to believe me. but that's not about to happen. I've looked pathetic enough. In front of everyone who is still standing in the entrance watching the pathetic girl get her heart broken. Geez no wonder he was tired of me, I am pathetic. 10 minutes ago I was just wrapped around him basically begging for crumbs. oh my god I wonder if everyone thought I was one of Jarens charity cases and couldnt take care of myself? "Are you gonna tell me because it's whatever Jaren" shrugging nonchalance "you can believe whatever the fuck you want but I have a right to know what ever it is. You atleast owe me that" Stalking towards me pushing me up against the small foyer table his body on mine, chest to chest, his arms forming a cage around my body, nose to nose he spews "I dont owe you a fucking thing Spencer Parks and you better watch how the fuck you talk to me" Taking a deep breath trying to force away the need to grab him by his hair and press my lips against his. Because for some demented reason Im seriously turned on right now.  We've never talked to each other like this and he just ripped me to shreds. I should have some dignity .Oh god I am a whore . Mustering up the strength I finally get my arm up between us to push him away but he doesn't budge. Not an inch.I shove again harder this time and nothing. I look into his eyes with tears threatening to spill over again when I see something pain mabey? He l barely whispered "fuck" "Whatever Spencer I'll tell you so you can get the fuck out of my life and I dont have to breath the same air as you."

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