Ordained - Jyler Fan Fiction

twenty three

So previously I said Tyler was 25 but because his birthday is during tour I'm making it so he's turning 25. I'll edit it all eventually

Song of Chapter: Reprieve by Vallis Alps

Jenna's POV

it had been about two days until they finally discharged me out of hospital, being tested so many times was not comfortable at all. Unfortunately, because the tumour was in my ovary, the tests were pretty invasive, some tears shedding when I had the chance. I was moved into a different ward, leaving Debby to be alone, but I got her number and we happily text from across the hospital.

Tyler has been worried sick, and I refuse to tell him how I feel about all this. I can't stand to see him more stressed than he already is. What made matters worse, his birthday was coming up, and I didn't want to cause him to not have fun.

"You think about other people's feeling more than your own" Tatum said, biting into a donut she found on my fridge. "Sometimes you gotta be a little selfish and talk about yourself"

"I can't do that, I've never been capable of it" I sighed, joining her at the dining table. I had been out of hospital for about a week now, being put on medication and having usual check ups.

"But it's Tyler... you need to tell him everything" she said upfront, picking at the crumbs that had fallen on the wood.

"He doesn't need to hear it right now, his focus needs to be on tour"

"Did you ever think maybe it's stressing him out more not knowing?"

I sat in awe for a moment, realisation coming to me that I probably wasn't doing any good. Either way he'd be stressed, and I couldn't possibly find a way to work around it.

"Anyways, have you started chemo?" Tatum changed the subject, looking up at me as she wiped the crumbs on the floor.

"Yeah" I sighed, leaning back in the wooden chair, "it's tough but I'll be okay"

Tatum nodded, my phone buzzing almost immediately. As I looked, a text message from Debby appeared, my mood brightening as her name flashed up.

Debby - I'm out of hospital! We should do something soon

I smiled, Tatum looking over to read

"Replacing me" she joked, my eyes rolling as I typed a reply

--

Tyler's POV

the gigs were going past relatively fast to my surprise, my focus being on finally going home. As much as I loved everyone supporting us, I needed to just see Jenna was okay, I needed to prove to myself that she was truly real. She hardly gave me information, my stomach churning at the thought of it possibly being worse than what she's telling me. But I tried not to get that in the way of things, especially when I needed to give it my all at every concert.

I loved every single person who came to watch, I even would step out and talk to them while they lined up. It was amazing, especially when I could just go out and play my ukulele with them and just sing. They loved it, and seeing all those smiles made me feel somewhat special, as if I meant something to them, even though we've never met.

However, that feeling would only last in the moment, the nights being the toughest once again. Before I met Jenna, practically every night was filled with nightmares, waking up in a puddle of sweat. As things got intimate between us, I noticed myself having less dreams, finally something positive overcoming the dread I held. Of course Jenna didn't know this, and she didn't need to, not until I was home.

But as I lied in my bunk, I couldn't help but feel the darkness try and take over, my foggy brain floating into another dimension that controlled every innocent cell. It was always the nights that would break me, the days turning me into a different person. I liked to think it was because of the moon that I was changing into this black abyss, but I truly couldn't bring myself to blame the beautiful ball in the sky. In all honesty, I loved the night and what it held, but it was unfortunately the time i was most alone.

Being alone comes as a positive yet a negative, your brain being able to take over no matter what kind of mindset you're in. I hated that, the feeling of not knowing what was to come.

"Tyler?" Josh's recognisable voice squeaked from above me, his head eventually falling upside down as he looked at me. "What's up man, you haven't been so good lately"

"I don't know Josh" I sighed, "I just don't feel great"

"I know you're stressed about Jenna, and as much as you try and hide it, you can tell"

"I'm stressed about everything to be honest, what might happen, the consequences, my actions. Everything that could possibly go wrong is flying around in my head"

"Are you dreaming again?" Josh whispered, him and my family being the only ones to know. It seemed to be the only secret I was good at hiding, not even Jenna knew, and we lived together.

"Yeah..." I nodded, Josh's lips pressing into a fine line. It was strange looking at Josh's face upside down, and I could see all the blood rushing to his head, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"It's your birthday in a few days, maybe that'll help"

"Maybe" I mumbled, knowing for sure it wasn't going to do anything. No matter what occasion, my brain wasn't running off a calendar, it never stopped to succeed it's plans to terrorise me.

A/N

I feel like my writing is terrible in this I'm so sorry

I accidentally fell asleep and I woke up super confused like my phone was on the floor and I had the weirdest dream I was like wtf is going on. I had to get up and eat my dinner though so I kind of came to the realisation that I was so tired I fell asleep ON MY PHONE. I'm such an idiot oh my god

~ Viella