Revenge

Guilt

Chapter 7

            After the episode at the hospital, I had taken refuge in my mother’s house. Since she had bought the house after I moved out, I had to sleep in what was considered the guest room. I didn’t mind it; I just wanted to be away from Raleigh. My stay here also came with a price, as I had a meager selection of clothes. Eventually, I had to buy some. Everything was his fault, he had brought me into this mess, but I was going to get myself out.

            Waking up alone in the bed, without a presence next to me was weird. It was kind of like being a teenager again and sleeping alone in my room at my grandparent’s house. The feeling was weird, especially since I had slept next to Raleigh for so long. I remembered the first night there, I kept reaching out, only to be met with mattress.

            The second day I was there, I received a text from E. I had forgotten all about him, as my mind was swimming over the latest drama. My heart started to beat a little faster when I saw a text saying ‘Good morning beautiful,’ I made sure to text him back so I wouldn’t seem rude. The text had kind of shocked me a bit.

            Bella was still in the hospital, but her condition was improving. The doctors were going to send her home soon, which as you can imagine, excited my mother and I. Since my mother worked from home, she spent her days in Bella’s hospital room, working. At night, she would come home and rest, then leave to go back to the hospital at the time she had to clock in. It was weird, but after awhile I had gotten used to it. I had now nursed my mind into believing everything was going to be different, which in fact it was.

            I was still going to college; thankfully my books were in my car, where I had left them. It spared me the agony of having to go get my things until I necessarily wanted to.

            “Are you alright?” my mother asked, peering into my room. My whole family had worried greatly after I exploded on Raleigh. My mother still tried to impress upon me that it wasn’t anybody’s fault, but I knew whose fault it was.

            “I’m fine mom,” I replied, my head still buried into the pillow, knowing damn well I was not fine. I was upset and angry at the same time. It felt awful, it felt like at any time I would just burst into tears and I hated it. The words I had said to Raleigh replayed in my head like a movie. The more I thought about them, the more I realized how hurtful I was. But, at the same time, I felt as if it was the right thing to do. The situation was starting to weigh heavily on me; it was like a one-hundred pound chip on my shoulder.

            “I’m just checking, I’m off to work,” she said, then disappeared from the room, closing the door behind her. I sighed heavily, what she actually meant was the hospital, but it’s not like she would actually say that. I got up from the bed and dressed in whatever clothes I had, dragging my feet as I made my way to car and then class.

            Class was awful; I couldn’t pay attention to save my life. Even my professor had asked me numerous times what was wrong, he even held me after class. “Are you alright Elena, I’ve never seen you like this,” he said to me as he flipped off his projection screen.

            “Just, a lot going on. Did you hear about the bus crash?” I asked, getting a nod as my reply. “Well, my little sister was in it.” Professor Givens looked up from his computer.

            “Is she alright?” he asked, worry expressed heavily on his face.

            “She’s conscious. She had head trauma and a broken arm. “

            “Well, I’m gonna pray for you and your family.” I nodded.

            “Thank you professor. I’m going to see her now, so if you’ll excuse me?”