Revenge

Advice

Chapter 8

Raleigh’s POV

            Angry, fear, and rage were the only words I thought about. Everything was twice as hard to do. I was upset beyond upset, broken beyond broken. The only thing I had ever wanted was gone, and that was Elena. Tears filled my eyes every time I thought about her, I couldn’t handle the thoughts.

            Elena was right. This was my entire fault. If I had never dragged her into this then Bella would be okay. It seemed like everything was coming down on me, nothing seemed right. I was out of it everywhere I went, even at school. My manager had started to notice and kept pestering me, but I shrugged him off, deflecting his question every time. I spent days wondering what life would be like if I had never dragged her into this. But every time I thought about, I ended with the same conclusion, I wouldn’t have her. Then I would laugh, because either way I didn’t have her.

            My emotions had gotten so bad to the point that I had trouble sleeping. I would only sleep for thirty minutes and wake up. The sad and torturous part about it was, every time I woke up, I reached for her. I knew damn well she wasn’t there, but it was like reflex now. Every time I did it, it was even more heartbreaking. I hated living in this apartment; it was like everywhere I looked she was there. Sometimes, if I was upset enough, I would even smell her perfume. I was going insane, slowly driving myself into insanity.

            I sat and thought about her and what she said, my rage taking over. I clutched my phone hard in my hand, feeling the phone shape imprinting into my hand. I didn’t care; I was not focused on that. My mind was focused on fighting back the tears forming in my eyes. Fighting the tears only built up my agitation, and I threw my phone. It hit the wall with a loud smack. When I realized what I had just done, I thanked god that I had an Otterbox on it.

            Sitting in the apartment, staring at the wall, I felt helpless. I had never felt this helpless ever in my life. The feeling was horrible and terrifying all in its own way. My mind often drifted to Elena and wondered what she was doing. I knew deep down that Cameron was behind all this and he was doing this on purpose. I also knew that driving a wedge into me and Elena was weakening us both. Even I knew that we were stronger together, I mean she had stabbed somebody in the eye defending my brother and cousins for god’s sake.

            Elena was the only thing crossing my mind. The smell of her skin and her smile taunted me on a daily basis. I missed feeling her long hair fall onto my face and hearing her yawn next to me. My mind had hoped foolishly that she was missing me also, which I had reasoned to believe that it didn’t happen. I also started to wonder if she knew that the thought of her was driving me to insanity. So many memories ran through my head, making my chest hurt. It was like my heart was breaking.

            I know after break-ups they tell you to go back to what you were doing before you met them, well it just didn’t work for me. For a few days I had tried to run scrimmages with my friends from the basketball team, but I was even distracted there. The only thing I imagined was Elena sitting in the stands, cheering me on, like she had done numerous times. “That’s my baby!” was all I would hear every time I made a shot. The sentence sounded so real, but when I turned to look, she was never there.

            If only I could have her back, my mind would be set free. I knew that going back to what I did before would be impossible. Elena was every thought in my mind and I just couldn’t help it.

            In a fit of emotions, I rose from the bed, threw on my coat and went outside to my truck. There was only one person who could give me the best advice on this, and that was my dad. The only reason I knew is because my father had ran into the same problem as me, which meant he was the wisest about this type of stuff. Backing out of the parking space, I zoomed out of the parking lot. His office was all the way in Albany, so I sat back and got comfortable. I knew the ride wasn’t going to long, so I pondered what I would say to him. Talking to my father about stuff like this had never been easy, but it seemed like he was the only person I could speak to. I didn’t think my mother would have any good words of advice, she wasn’t in my shoes. Well, neither was my father, but at least he had experience.

            As I drove through Schenectady, my mind started to wish it would spot Elena. I tried to shake the thought off, but it only got worse. Driving down the street, I could’ve sworn I saw her walk into one of the shops, but it was a simple redhead. I became irritated. “Why do you do this to me?” I yelled at my own brain. Immediately my brain responded mentally, saying it didn’t know.

            I was happy when I finally got close to Albany. Making sure to repeat my father’s office address in my head, I took the Clinton Avenue exit, knowing my father’s office at Charles Schwab would be right there on my left. I quickly found a parking spot in a nearby parking garage and walked briskly to the building. I ignored the receptionist at the desk and went straight for the stairway. My legs carried me to the fourth floor, where another receptionist was waiting, I ducked past her too. I walked right into my father’s office and closed the door behind me. My legs began to pace back and forth in front of his desk, when I noticed he was on the phone.

            “Let me call you back Charlie, my son is standing in front of my desk,” my father said, looking at me in shock. I rubbed my face and sighed heavily. “Alright, sounds good. We’ll talk later. Bye bye.” My father but the phone down and looked up at me. “Raleigh, what’s wrong?”

            “Dad, I lost her,” I admitted, pacing through the office, scratching my head. I felt tears start to for in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away. “I brought her into this mess, Bella got hurt, and now she blames me!” I plopped down in a seat in front of his desk, burying my head in my hands. I heard the door open.

            “It’s alright Tina,” my father said, and then I heard the door close again. I shook my head repeatedly; this was not what I wanted. My leg started to shake as I spoke again.

            “She blames me for everything, saying I brought her into this, saying this is all my fault,” I continued, my voice cracking. I was fighting furiously against the tears, but I felt one slip. Quickly, I wiped it away and looked up at my dad. “What do I do?”

            “Well, you know what happened between your mother and I. Your mother swore up and down she couldn’t handle the second person I was, but I think she handled it pretty well,” my father paused, and I immediately thought about what good was that information doing me? “But, it was never too bad to the point where someone got hurt, especially family, that’s a huge line to cross Raleigh.” I nodded, I already knew that. It felt like Elena hated me.

            “It feels like she hates me,” I spoke, without thinking. My father nodded.

            “I can understand she blames you, but what she needs to remember is she made the decision too.”

            “That’s exactly what I told her! I had no idea Cameron was gonna go this far!” My father tensed up as I mentioned his name.

            “Oh, that little shit.” I chuckled slightly.

            “One of Cameron’s pack members took a cement truck and drove it into the side of the bus Bella was on. He swore it was because of the fog, but Elena swears up and down this was a crack Cameron was taking at her.”

            “Well, if it really is that, I hope she realizes that apart you two are weaker.” My father raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his desk chair.

            “That’s what I’ve been saying to myself.”

            “Raleigh, you need to apologize to her.” I nodded, figuring I had to do that already. Saying sorry wouldn’t even be a problem for me, if it meant getting Elena back; I would say it in a heartbeat. Shit, anything, I might even get on my knees and say it.

            “I already knew that. I’m prepared to do that, that’ll be no problem.” My father nodded.

            “Good, always swallow your pride when it comes to love. It’s just not worth it.”

            “So what do I do?”

            “She made the decision too, but you need to apologize to her Raleigh.”

            “Thanks dad.” I got up from the chair, feeling a little better. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

            “Be careful!” I heard my father say as I left the office. My father’s words seemed wise and the best thing to do. Even if Elena rejected me, and that would hurt like a bitch, at least I made the effort. As I climbed into my truck, I grew nervous. We were weakest apart.