Broken

Karma

I'm always feeling guilty for asking questions that I deserve to hear the answers to.
I'd rather let it eat me alive from inside than admit to myself that I already know the truth.
So I just sit there with my eyes fixated on the floor.
Counting tiles and watching shadows from the crack beneath the door.
Everything I need to say just flows in to a pattern in my head.
But every time I think I can face my demons,
I walk away instead.
You're still the only one who can completely destroy me inside with just a single word.
But I was made with this awful organ in my chest that won't let me show you just how much it hurts.
I hate that I can't hate you.
No matter how many times I try to convince myself to.
You've ripped me apart for so many years.
Now my reality has become what I've always feared.
You're still in denial but I've made my peace with that.
Some things just aren't worth taking to trial
when you know that the pain just can't be kept in the past.
You deserve your reality and everything that comes to you.
As long as you understand the reasons surrounding the loneliness of your truth.
You were never meant for a happy ending.
Because people don't change.
They just get better at pretending.