I'm Not Okay. *My Chemical Romance One Shots*

5- Sleep

A/N: Triggers. I know some people reading might giggle at the word, but this is srs bsnss. Talks about the 9/11 tragedy. Based off the information from this interview:

and of course the song. Hope you enjoy!

I can hear the low rumble of engines from inside the terminal. At first , anyone could mistake it for a train coming into the station, but as the sound grew louder and louder there was no doubt, that this was larger than a train. I can tell others have noticed the irregular sound, and were starting to bustle over to one of the outdoor platforms.

"I'm sorry, Does normally happen here?" A women asks, a large suitcase in one hand, a small child in the other. I look at them, and suddenly the terror of the situation set in.

"No." I say quickly, jogging off to where the rest of the people at Hoboken station were. I could feel a lump forming in my chest, like someone gripping my throat. As I look out to the view of Manhattan, I can see a dark shape looming over one of the majestic twin towers. i look back, at the people behind me, watching the faces of the men, women, children. They're faces full of denial, as the terror sets in on them too. A large tremor of fear rolls over the crowd of people like a wave crashing into a sandy beach. I suddenly spot the tourist who I talked to earlier, staring at the situation in confusion, her child's eyes glued to the scene. I take a quick glance at the plane headed for the tower and run as fast as I can to the woman. She looks confused as I grab her, pulling her aside to the closest wall, so she doesn't have to watch the horrifying truth unfold in front of her. As we both knock into the wall next to the platform, i hear a blood churning sound, a sound of glass and screams all breaking in a chorus of pain, excruciating pain. All the woman does is cover her mouth as tears well in her eyes.

"Children's eyes should never have to suffer to watch such a horrific thing." I say. All the women does is sob, cuddling her child like a teddy bear. I walk back out to the scene, maneuvering around crumpled masses on the ground, left as sobbing wrecks and nothing more. I couldn't bear to watch the second tower go down. I walked away from the train station, away from the people. It wasn't because I didn't care, it was because I cared too much. I knew that if I stayed, I would become yet another crumpled mass on the floor of a train station. I feel tears hot on my face as I walk down the street, past the crying families, past the gaping businessmen. My legs take me as far away from the mess that is our world, or at least as far away as they can.

I end up slumped on the wall of an alleyway, those dark ones where you'd think a neon sign would be flashing 'women of the night' or 'discretion is our guarantee'. That's when I hear the second wave of shattered glass and pained cries.

"Who did you loose?" I hear a husky voice ask. I look up to find a girl, with dark black hair and vibrant green tips.

"no one." Is all I make out. Suddenly I feel selfish, I'm crying over people I never knew, never loved. I had no-one in those towers that I knew. My family was safe home in New Jersey. 

"My brothers gone. Probably the second tower." She says, sitting down next to me. Now that I can see her face better, it looks like she's crying black tears. I knew it was from makeup, but i added to the situation, the irony of it. A black tear is a mark of death. I'm sure she'd cried many more than just one.

"The worst part was when the first tower fell, I knew he could still be alive, there was a chance. A slither of hope." She says, tears flowing down her cheeks once more. I wrap my arm around her, not knowing what else to do. 

"I guess I have to let go of my dreams." She says finally, a large sob rocketing from her like a grenade.

"Shhh, its okay. Just close your eyes." I say, trying to comfort her. I had never met her before, hell, I didn't even know her name; but a times like these humans stop being categorised and put into place and we become humans. It gave me faith. Not enough to recover the faith that I lost, the faith I'll never find again.

"I never kissed him goodbye!" She whispers into my shirt, her body shaking. 

At that moment I realised the black tears we were sharing together, were a sign. Not a sign for death, but a sign for inevitability. We all die, and if we do nothing, what is the point. At that moment I decided to help others get through their pain, because pain is inevitable. Death is inevitable. Slowly, I pull out my phone and dial Mikey's phone.

"Gerard?" I hear a cracked voice on the other end. Mikey has been crying, too.

"Do you still have that bass guitar?" I ask and I hear an undefined yes from the other line. I hang up and stroke the girls head as she sobs quietly.

"Just sleep."