Brokenness Aside

You Never Do

Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. It has been a few days now since we last spoke. No phone calls, no text messages on that damned phone, nothing from Karen about him...I just don't get it, you know? We spent a beautiful night together and he was gone before I got up the next morning. I hate waking up alone. So once again, I'm in my living room with my journal. Sitting on the sofa in nothing but a silk robe with my cup of coffee that's gone cold. I sigh, looking out the window at nothing really. I'm lost in my own thoughts. I go to the piano and just lay my fingers on the keys, mindlessly playing a tune. I must seem so pathetic. I tell myself I'm going to take it slow, seduce him and make him question his own sanity because who could leave me? I am all he needs, all he desires. But I guess not. Before I know it tears are falling on my fingers and I close the piano. Walking around the house aimlessly, the phone finally rings. I answer it too eagerly. Play it cool, Stevie, play it cool.
"Hey!" I say, then I bump myself on the forehead with my palm. I said play it cool. What a loser. My voice was high, like I had been waiting by the phone for days. "I mean, how's it going?"
"Good...listen I'm sorry about not calling"
"It doesn't ma-"
"Something came up" he interrupts and I feel my breath catch in my chest. There is a feeling of dread that spreads through my body. I panic and think about slamming the phone down and never answering again. For some reason there are no tears. He says something to me but I don't hear. He repeats himself. "Can I take you it for lunch, to apologize"
"Lindsey, let's not do this. I don't think I can take much more drama."
"Oh, come on, Steph. Please?"
I sigh. I've been defeated. "Sure, pick me up like 2?"
He laughs "Sure, two. Catch ya later, pretty girl"
"Catch ya later" I echo, my voice emotionless. I place the phone down and collapse into the chair beside where my phone lives.

--
I don't know why I'm such a fool when it comes to him. I wash and dress. I wink at myself in the mirror as I descend the stairs. I choose a loose knit cream sweater with some gold threading running throughout that falls off the shoulder, a tank top underneath in my signature black, dark boot cut jeans and high ankle strap closed toe platform clogs complete my look. My hair is down and my makeup looks great. I put my sunglasses on momentarily then push them up so they rest on top of my head and I arrange my hair accordingly. The door bell rings and I don't realize I took so long to get ready or maybe I didn't ever what time it was when I suggested two in the afternoon. I open the door and his jaw drops. Just the reaction I wanted. I smiled at him.
"Jesus, Steph. You look...wow!"
"You don't look too bad yourself." That v neck tee shirt and leather jacket does it for me every time. His jeans fit in all the places I like and I can't stop staring at his...well, I won't get into that. "So where are you taking me, Mr Buckingham?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He says playfully and he escorts me to the car.
"Kind of why I asked, Lindsey"
"Ha ha!" He laughs sarcastically "Just a little place. I know you'll like it"

---

We drive for what feels like only a few seconds but he informs me it's been a good 30 minutes or so. He's taken me up the coast and when I get out of the car it's a little beach front place with tables outside. There's a breeze and with the ocean pretty much right in front of us, I gasp. It's bliss, especially with him by my side.

We make flirtatious conversation, we order drinks and when the food arrives, he takes my hand across the table. I squeeze it lovingly and then there he goes talking about exactly what I didn't want to talk about.
"Kristen came to the condo the other day..." My eyes grew wide and I swear I stopped breathing for a split second. "She says she misses me." He scoffs and shakes his head, continuing to eat. I didn't want to talk about it but now that he's started I have to hear more.
"And..."
"And I served her papers. What did you think I was going to say?" His voice sounded irritated, and he set his fork down, taking a big swing of the beer he ordered.
I put my hands up in defense. "I'm sorry" I say softly.
"No, I wanna hear what you thought I was going to tell you"
"I, I don't know" I am both nervous and embarrassed. People are starting to gawk and I can't handle the eyes on me. I try to get up to go to the bathroom when he grabs my hand.
"What- did you think I was going to say that I fvcked her?" He was loud enough for others to hear and my eyes started to fill with tears. I yanked my hand from his grasp and walked quickly in the direction of the women's bathroom. I was thankful it was a single so I could be alone. I was in there for a long while. I didn't want to argue, I just get scared sometimes. He didn't call me for almost a week- what was I to think? She has so much to offer that I don't. Get a grip, Stevie. Get back out there. I dab at my eyes gingerly with a tissue, careful not to smear the makeup I worked so hard on. I take a deep breath and exit. I take myself back to the table and I try not to make eye contact.
"I'm sorry, baby" He looks straight through me, into my soul with those gorgeous blue grey eyes and I attempt eye contact. It's too intense and I don't want to burst into tears in front of everyone. He and I had already made quite the scene. I nod, accepting the apology.
"Let's just...take me home, okay." My voice is barely audible and he leans in, taking my hand.
"I will, I swear. But let's go down to the water. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I really didn't mean to"
"You never do" I grab my handbag and go out front, waiting for him as he pays the bill. I'm leaning against the building when he comes out. I walk with him down the steps to get to the sand. He takes my hand and I smile weakly up at him. I take my shows off and he offers to hold them for me as I roll up my jeans. I go ahead of him a ways- I cannot get to the ocean fast enough. The waves break in little ripples over my feet and with that, I dissolve into a heap of tears.

A/N: thank you for your support. I cannot believe that this little story has been viewed just over 100 times! Thank you, thank you, thank you.